I’m at the tail end of the flu, the funk, a cold, a virus - whatever you want to call it.  It laid me  flat for a few days.  I’m talkin’ in the bed, sweating, freezing, can’t shower or even brush my teeth kinda sick.  I’m talkin’ wanting to burn the sheets kinda sick - even the dogs wouldn’t come near me kinda sick.  I am now literally sick and tired of being sick and tired.  Everyone has it, but when I got it, it was happening to ME!  It’s all about me, remember?  I’m an addict - it HAS…

This was previously published at whatmesober.com. A couple of remarks may be at odds with bits I’ve previously published here at TSR.

I let my 20th anniversary go by without any specific remarks, although I alluded to it in several places, but it seems appropriate to make a few comments. I mean, one is without question an “Old Timer” at 20, and we’re supposed to have all that wisdom and say really deep stuff, right?

Well, in my case, not.

I have found that over the years I seem to have less and less to say, both at meetings and when writing. That’s…

Sometimes when you least expect it, you get a break. Or maybe a break through.

I had a feeling of disquietude much of yesterday. Perhaps it was having too much to do in too short a period of time, but I think that it also related to not wanting to make a lot of decisions. I simply didn’t want to have my routine disrupted.

I’m not exactly a totally routine-driven person, but I have found that I like to set my own routine and not have it set by forces that are out of my….CONTROL. Yep, I think that the old control…

I’ve been thinking a lot about humility lately. I’m not sure why. Nothing special going on that I know of…just thinking, I guess. Perhaps it’s because I’m in the midst of sponsoring my first 4th step. Worried that I’m not giving the right direction to my sponsee. Worried that I’m forgetting important things, even though all the directions I need are right there in the Big Book. I’m not sure why this brings about thoughts of humility… Perhaps it’s the fact that I feel I’m “holding” another human’s sobriety gently in my hands. It’s a big responsibility. It’s humbling.

Maybe I’m thinking about…

Somebody at last night’s New Year’s Eve party referred to Prince’s old song, 1999, and said, “Remember when that song came out, and 1999 seemed so far away?” Everyone in the room, a bunch of 30 and 40-somethings, nodded aggressively. I was in high school when 1999, the song, came onto the scene, and I was just beginning my introduction to alcohol. 

College in the late 80’s and early 90’s solidified my position as a “social” binge drinker–mostly in conjunction with my sports teams. It wasn’t until long after 1999 that I began my alcoholic drinking odyssey. It took about three years for me to…

Tradition 12
Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all our Traditions, ever reminding us to place principles above personalities.

We’ve talked some about Tradition 12 in our various meetings this month. It seems to be important for a number of reasons. First, it’s important because it not only protects me but it also protects the program. We’ve discussed how it’s possible that the program would be hurt if individuals touted that they are in Al-Anon and yet failed to live their recovery in their daily life.

It’s also about humility. No one need be treated special or as someone’s HP because when that…

Step 7: Humbly asked God to remove our shortcomings

I’ve been going through the process of working the 12 Steps around my own personal craziness, and last week, I reached the point where I was supposed to humbly ask God to remove my shortcomings. Whew! That has so many problematic words in it. I mean even if we forget about “shortcomings” (because, let’s face it, don’t most of us want to keep on keeping on with the ignoring in that department?), we have words like “God” and “ask” and “remove” and (trickiest of all) “humbly.”

I don’t know about you, but I…

Boy, that sounds severe. Especially from someone who thinks of concentration camps, “Work Will Set You Free” propaganda, Hitler’s design to convince Jews to work themselves to death.

But some people who work the Steps tell me that they don’t get five minutes off. No time to play. They’ve played for as many years as they used and abused drugs and alcohol, and want to make up for time lost. The world needs them. People need one another, and as a person, they’ve joined the human race.

So people in recovery work when they work. They don’t cheat the boss, and when…

Whew…it’s been a mixed up, emotionally charged, hectic couple of weeks in this little life of mine. Here’s the summary.

**Ten days ago I ran the “comeback” race I’ve been waiting for, finishing 3rd out of 492 runners in a women’s 5K. Elation. Relief. Excitement. Confidence.

**Ten days ago, a couple hours later, I learned my friend Jeannie had fallen into a coma and was expected to die within the day–weeks, even months before anyone expected. Sadness. Grief. Regret. Anger.

**Eight days ago my friend Jeannie died. I never did see her in the last month prior to her death, but I am grateful that I…

I have heard the expression “Fake It Til You Make It” at several meetings. I never really understood how it would help me. I’ve never been comfortable with the “faking it” part, although I have done it a lot during my life.

I think that it’s better to just walk the walk and work the program, keeping honesty in mind, rather than having the “liar” alarm go off in my head.

Nonetheless, I felt like a fake at a meeting on Friday. I didn’t want to go to the meeting, instead I wanted to go home, make it an early evening, and…

In the opening for Al-Anon meetings, there is a line that says, “In Al-Anon we learned to keep the focus on ourselves”. I’ve found that is a hard thing to do especially having lived with alcoholism. In Courage to Change, there is a daily reading that basically says that many of us in came to Al-Anon with a compulsion to focus on other people. Many of us had a clear idea of how everyone should behave in every situation and felt very self-righteous when they didn’t follow our rules of conduct. When we realized that our own lives were being…

Anonymity has become a big issue lately. Or perhaps it would be more accurate to say that, in some respects, it is no longer an issue at all. There was a time when the admonition to preserve anonymity at the level of press, radio and film was pretty-much sacrosanct. Absolutely no reputable journalist or medium would have dreamed of breaking anyone’s anonymity. Movie stars, sports figures, politicians, judges — all could attend treatment or meetings without fear of the media blowing their cover. Even if someone had recognized them, the damage would have been minimal because there would have been…