I moved.  I hate moving but I moved and in the process of moving I came across a bunch of stuff that I thought I’d gotten rid of, among them the letters I received from the last object of my obsession during his last committment to the Idaho State Correctional Institution.

The letters that said he was sorry.  The letters that said he loved me.  The letters that said let’s wipe the slate clean.

The letters that I he sent me before the last time he got out and then showed up in the same meetings I go to and treated me…

About a month ago, I wrote a post here about my trials and tribulations with dating again. Well, the saga, which I thought was over, continues. And I need some help on this one!

In a nutshell: cool dude asks me out via online dating service. Met for coffee and a walk. Dude revealed that he had “quit drinking” years ago, but he doesn’t really work an AA program, although he attends meetings “with friends” sometimes. I’m a bit concerned. I did it that way for awhile, too. I was still an asshole–maybe more so without alcohol! Made more plans for…

So here I go again…revealing my life to you in hopes that this time I won’t have to write about getting dumped in my next post. Yup, that’s right. I went on a date…again. This dating thing, while exciting, kind of sucks to tell you the truth. I’m too old for this!
I’m too old to get all pretty, hoping to convince a stranger that I’m worth a look. I’m too old to pretend to be interested in uninteresting topics in order to keep a conversation going. I’m too old to smile too much, laugh too long, and stand too tall–whew,…

the problem with revealing my life to all of you
is when things go badly,
i must reveal that too.

i had a date.
the date went well.
we liked each other a lot.
he thought I, and I thought him
to be quite swell.

plans were made
to see each other again.
and the very next day
more plans were made,
so we might see one another
sooner than planned before.

but when tomorrow came
something suddenly interfered
and the plan was cancelled.
no big deal,
or so I thought.

until,
“i’ll call you back in 5 minutes.”
went totally unfulfilled.
my concern was piqued,
as the phone sat silent
cruelly taunting me.

i’m being too sensitive, i thought.
until…

“i’ve moved on so i must…

So…I have a date tomorrow night. This is a big, big deal. I’ve been single now for several years, and I’m at the age where I just figured this was the way things were going to stay. But then I got a wild hair and joined Match.com, and…

Here’s the thing. I’ve already told him I’m in recovery. He sort of is, too. He doesn’t drink. But I’ve got a LOT more crap than that in my closet! How about having a mental illness? When do I spring that one on him? How about having a mental illness which is so…