my life isn’t perfect

it’s far from ideal

with many things out there

wrong, with appeal

if i choose to indulge

they would cause me pain

they would take me back

to a mind quite insane

for choices i’ve made

the right one’s, that is

have given me strength

have given me peace

and rather than wond’ring

and longing for those

live in the choices

that don’t bring such woes

in a blink of an eye

the beauty can pass

live and extend them

the things that can last

for now you are living

a choice that was yours

remem’bring just that

will shut the wrong doors

picture: http://siniebraico.deviantart.com/art/Yellow-101078364

…

I always like the part in the Big Book from “How It Works” about thinking that “……we could find an easier softer way. But we could not”. In Al-Anon, there isn’t an easier softer way either. No, we’re not in imminent danger of drinking ourselves to death, but we are in danger of a slow, painful emotional death.

I’ve listened in meetings to people talking about not getting a sponsor, not working the steps. They are making a few meetings if there’s time, they are reading a daily reader, but they still feel miserable. And yet, they wonder why.

My experience has…

Newcomers at meetings hear things differently than those who have been going for a while.  We each hear different things in meetings and we each take away something different from a meeting.  Sometimes I hear such eloquent things from people.  And I’ll wish that I had the oratory skills to express my thoughts better.  But is sharing really about how great a public speaker a person is?  Sure, it helps not to wander all over the place and to go on and on saying the same thing over and over.  But sharing isn’t about how witty someone is or how…

It’s wearying to see the lack of respect that occurs in our culture today. And in spite of the rude and unkind behavior of others, “respect” is a big issue worldwide. Everyone wants it, but there’s a prevailing feeling that it has to be earned or gained in some way.

Maybe this whole thing about respect is bass-ackwards and “Respect is always given and never earned.”

I was taught to respect people, all people, from childhood. And that respect was given and kept unless proven otherwise through the course of their actions. Respect wasn’t required to be a test given to another…

Today at a meeting we shared about the commonalities that seem to be consistent within the program. And one of the most common of the commonalities was that we choose to be involved with alcoholics/addicts.

I can look back over relationships in my past and know that during high school and college, I seemed to be attracted to people who were wounded in some fashion, mostly by alcohol. I felt most comfortable with the people who appeared to be different. Those were the ones that for some twist of fate, I would want to talk to, get to know, and end…

It’s been a cold winter for where I live. And there are a lot of homeless people who are suffering because of the cold. I passed by a man the other day who had a sign that said he was homeless and cold. I started to pass him by. Heck, I did pass him by, but in my mind he was front and center. I knew that giving money wasn’t the best thing. But then I thought about the cold. So I went back and talked to him. He said that he wanted to get something to eat. He explained…

The words strike one after another, “Your grandmother just called your dad is drunk again; she wants to know if you can come over and talk some sense into him”. I want to shut those words out, ignore my grandmother’s plea – nothing good ever comes from these confrontations. My silence puzzles him, “Can you give me a ride please”.  “Are you alright?” “No, I’m not, this is nothing new…sigh it’s the same dance, over and over again.” When we arrive I go directly to the basement where my grandmother is staying with my father  in the lower half of…

When my husband is out of the house for whatever reason, I feel this huge weight lift off my shoulders. Just writing that, I feel guilty. He spent the night with family last night after his latest drama, and I got so much done while he was gone. My house is cleaner. My car is cleaner. My dogs are happier. My head is clearer. I love him, and I miss him when he’s not around in some ways, but he really brings the drama and stress. When I have this kind of time to myself, I imagine what my life…