I wish for a surgery to remove my love for my husband. I wish to have it beaten out of me or zapped with chemicals, radiation. I wish I could have my heart bypassed, or shrunken up to a tiny little corner of its former self, removing my desire for him.

I want a way out, or a way through. I want it now, badly.

I have gone out of town to get a little break from the teeming chaos of living with him. He is mad. He’s spending a lot of time inside his own head, and it’s hard to be…

Jason Schwartz’s take on knowing your child had the alcoholic gene made me think.  What would I do differently if I was able to intervene today to stop my sons progression to heroin addict?  This post is not about regrets, or shoulda/coulda.  It is my feelings right now about what I would do if I had a time machine. I came up with 3 things, and I put them out here for consideration, but half of my heart believes there was no stopping him.

1) I would have utilized the family leave act when he ran away the first time at age 16.  I considered it at the…

Boy, I’m angry.

My husband is the world’s biggest jerk. With all 40 days of recovery, he still sucks. Why isn’t he fixed already?

He and I have volunteered to staff this prayer and meditation center together on Saturday evenings. He agreed to staff it for the first half so that I could go to my Saturday night Nar-anon meeting, and I’d meet him after my meeting to finish staffing. It’s the same place where he attends a 10PM AA meeting, so it works out well for us to staff together in this way.

This morning, however, he announced that he wouldn’t be…

As my husband is writing his resentment list for his fourth step, I am cultivating a few new resentments of my own.

I have a hard time telling this man, “No.” I’ve always had a hard time with it. I have to go to meetings about it. While I’ve gotten quite good at telling him “No” about big things, I still struggle on a daily basis with refusing to fulfill his million addicty whims.

Lately, he seems to have come down with a bad case of entitlement fever. From my perspective, it doesn’t look much like he ever does anything other than…

Yesterday I spent eight hours at the local polls, volunteering for Equality Maine. We all know that November 4, 2008 was a historic day. Hopefully, at the very least, people realized that their vote does count.
Certain red states turned blue. My home state of Virginia turned blue for the first time in 44 years. Ironically, Obama will be the 44th President. It could not have happened without the turnout from those who generally think the system is futile.

Whether or not you are a hockey mom, a junkie, or a sushi devotee–your vote counted. It turned many red states blue. It…

It’s funny, the ideas that people get about the relationship between loving others and loving themselves. The conventional wisdom is that learning to love oneself is essential to loving others. Yet 12 step programs insist that we must place others ahead of ourselves in order to recover.

I was at a meeting the other night where this was brought up as a topic. The person that brought it up insisted that before he can experience recovery that he needs to love himself more. “I just do whatever I want to do. If I see something I want I just buy it…