http://www.thesecondroad.org/tsr A supportive environment for those recovering from alcoholism and drug addiction Fri, 04 Jul 2008 02:08:10 +0000 http://backend.userland.com/rss092 en I had a kind of crazy day today. I had almost the whole day off, and I spent it deliciously in bed. I'd been hoping that my husband wouldn't be home for my day off, as it has been a long time since I've had the house to myself. I ... http://www.thesecondroad.org/tsr/2008/07/03/i-want-to-be-alone-i-want-him-to-come-home/ An old man, a boy and a donkey were going to town. The boy rode on the donkey and the old man walked. As they went along they passed some people who remarked it was a shame the old man was walking and the boy was riding. The man and ... http://www.thesecondroad.org/tsr/2008/07/03/pleasing-everyone/ I haven't written in a few days because I've been enjoying a spur-of-the-moment vacation in Colorado. My sober friends B & C invited me to their family cabin in the Northern Rockies for the week. I began a gloriously descriptive post yesterday about the beautiful land, the serene surroundings, and ... http://www.thesecondroad.org/tsr/2008/07/02/proving-the-environment-doesnt-matter/ Learning to love and care for yourself is a topic that often comes up in Al-Anon. I've heard people share about how they never had any time to love themselves or take care of themselves because they were always taking care of others. Some people have mentioned having no ... http://www.thesecondroad.org/tsr/2008/07/02/taking-care-of-yourself/ The following article appeared in the Baltimore Sun - it's worth sharing. Enjoy. By Rob Hiaasen|Sun reporter June 29, 2008 His comeback was the worst-kept secret at Ashley. After a six-month absence, an ailing Father Joseph Martin returned recently to what has been called the Betty Ford Clinic of the East ... http://www.thesecondroad.org/tsr/2008/07/02/father-martin-still-speaks-out/ "The only concept of god that I believed in at all, when I got here, was the God of Unintended Consequences," Robert said, sitting across the table from me eating burritos at a taco stand at one o'clock in the morning. "Every time I drank bad stuff happened. I wasn't ... http://www.thesecondroad.org/tsr/2008/07/01/the-god-of-unintended-consequences/ Then she opened up a book of poems And handed it to me Written by an Italian poet From the thirteenth century And every one of them words rang true And glowed like burning coal Pouring off of every page Like it was written in my soul from me to you Tangled up in blue -Bob Dylan, "Tangled Up ... http://www.thesecondroad.org/tsr/2008/07/01/tangled-up-in-blue/ The serenity prayer is, without doubt, one of the most useful -- tools, ideas, comforts, guides, whatever you want to call it -- that I've gotten from my recovery. Like most profound truths, it could hardly be more simple, and yet there is a lifetime of guidance in those ... http://www.thesecondroad.org/tsr/2008/07/01/serenity-what-what-serenity/ We often speak about the phenomenan of craving. It is not something that I consider very often. Physical craving goes away after only a short time of abstainence. The deeper work of recovery is in addressing the mental obsession, which is often and incorrectly described as craving, ... http://www.thesecondroad.org/tsr/2008/06/30/phenomena/ Been cleaning all day today, and yesterday. Well, maybe not all day, there was some toenail painting and shopping in there as well, but I'm exhausted still. Bagged up so. much. crap. today and took it to be donated. Oh, that felt so good. I had this huge pile of "stuff ... http://www.thesecondroad.org/tsr/2008/06/30/not-deep/ I was on the phone with a friend one day and she commented on the fact that I was obviously not present in the call. First of all I had no idea what kind of language is "present in the call." Second, if you were trying to figure out what ... http://www.thesecondroad.org/tsr/2008/06/30/thoughts-from-a-reiki-master-part-3/ by William C. Moyers In the past few months, I've had an opportunity to speak to students at a high school for adults in Minnesota and criminal defendants in the judicial system in Texas. The students know almost nothing about addiction. The felons know everything. They're at opposite ends of the ... http://www.thesecondroad.org/tsr/2008/06/30/bridging-the-ignorance-gap/ I've read that it's possible to have unconditional love of self in which you love yourself regardless of external conditions. This means being true to your feelings regardless of those around you. Based on what I know from Al-Anon, the HP loves each of us unconditionally. And if I look ... http://www.thesecondroad.org/tsr/2008/06/30/unconditional-love/ I hate coming home. I hate the slow, slow dread that creeps up on me when I'm traveling. It was a four hour ride in the car, and I loved every minute of it. I loved having time alone, time away...and now I'm back. It's not even so bad here. He ... http://www.thesecondroad.org/tsr/2008/06/29/home-home-again/ I've had better week-ends. Yesterday was what I can only describe as a "dull" kind of day. Not dull in the sense that it was boring, but dull in the sense that my emotions were brought to a place that I can only describe as flat, lackluster, colorless, listless...I could ... http://www.thesecondroad.org/tsr/2008/06/29/will-the-week-end-ever-end/ "Caliente!" Absolutely an understatement I thought as I nodded my head in the direction of my latin co-worker. Even hotter for me, four days out of the crack pipe. The hard work feels good, gives purpose to my day and helps me live in the moment. Trying not ... http://www.thesecondroad.org/tsr/2008/06/29/654/ I guess personal relationships just come more easily for some people. At least that's what it looks like. I'd see them in school. They had straighter, whiter teeth, and shiny hair that lay where it was supposed to. They were good at sports. They knew ... http://www.thesecondroad.org/tsr/2008/06/28/on-lonliness/ ME (confused): So despite the house overwhelmingly approving this medicare reform bill...bipartisan, too...what was the vote, something like 355-59? SENATOR (dismissively aloof): Something like that... ME: (questioning, confused): Geeez...when does that ever happen? 355-59? Phew! Yet, despite their strong, bipartisan support, you guys couldn't even gain enough votes to stop debating? Is ... http://www.thesecondroad.org/tsr/2008/06/27/conversation-with-senate-medicare/ So I found this place - this place called recovery. It sucked. And it saved. The meetings, the coffee, the cookies, that smell of church basements that forced me to remember my Catholic up bringing, any form of sugar I could consume, the ego trips, the eye rolling, the clock ... http://www.thesecondroad.org/tsr/2008/06/27/thoughts-from-a-reiki-master-part-2/ I started working with a new spnsor recently. I started taking the steps again, from the beginning. It is the best thing I could have done for my recovery. I'm not only excited about the program again, particularly about the way of studying the material that I'm ... http://www.thesecondroad.org/tsr/2008/06/27/renewal/ Grief is often overlooked in addiction treatment, and almost universally so by the 12-step programs. It isn't necessary that this should be the case, since the 4th, 5th, 8th and 9th steps are capable of dealing with it, when used skillfully by a good sponsor and a willing sponsee, ... http://www.thesecondroad.org/tsr/2008/06/26/grief-in-recovery/ One of the things that I've learned in Al-Anon is that I'm not responsible for someone else's drinking. The slogan that captures this is "I didn't cause it, I can't control it, and I can't cure it". A lot of people come into the program trying to find a way ... http://www.thesecondroad.org/tsr/2008/06/26/the-three-cs/ Little C left on Sunday for Alaska, and contrary to my grand plans for my time during her absence, I've accomplished basically nothing. Sure, I've been looking forward to cleaning out the closets, scrubbing the bathroom floor, decluttering the house and having a yard sale ever since her grandma planned this ... http://www.thesecondroad.org/tsr/2008/06/25/note-to-self-i-am-not-a-punching-bag/ It was an off-hand comment because he thought I knew. Liver cancer. It's inoperable. I didn't know. At the meeting last night another friend said she was in the hospital because of pain--"probably gall stones." Tonight it's a death sentence. Chemo. That's all they can offer at this point in ... http://www.thesecondroad.org/tsr/2008/06/25/problems-of-luxury/ I'm taking one. It will be a little one, but it will be mine. I'll get some sleep, and I'll see some friends, and I'll be near water. My husband can stomp around and yell at the air if he needs to stomp around and yell at something, someone, somewhere. ... http://www.thesecondroad.org/tsr/2008/06/25/vacation/ Boundaries are one of those subjects that come up a lot in Al-Anon meetings. I never understood the term before and what it meant in a relationship until coming to meetings. I've had to learn hard lessons with keeping boundaries because I've been a boundary breaker. I've been involved ... http://www.thesecondroad.org/tsr/2008/06/25/boundaries-2/ I've been going to Al-Anon for a couple of years. It has helped me to understand the disease of alcoholism that the Big Book of AA describes as "cunning, baffling, and powerful". Before Al-Anon, I didn't have any understanding but I had a lot of pain. I've felt a ... http://www.thesecondroad.org/tsr/2008/06/24/my-road/ ...and stick it in your mouth. I remember hearing this old timers slogan often when I first came into the rooms of recovery over 10 years ago. I have to admit I found it quite offensive at the time but that was of course because I thought I knew everything. ... http://www.thesecondroad.org/tsr/2008/06/24/take-the-cotton-out-of-your-ears/ I am the oldest of 4 children. My sisters are 2 years and 6 years younger than me. My brother is 13 years younger. Until the day my parents divorced we were raised in a home free of alcohol. Then everything changed. For reasons of her own, the ... http://www.thesecondroad.org/tsr/2008/06/24/daughter-and-son/ It's up and down, up and down at my house. I am observing things working in a real predictable cycle, which seems new. Over the weekends, my husband overcomes my wariness by being the love of my life...exuberant, charming, engaging, funny, affectionate... By Monday, he's a little grumpy, but still an engaged ... http://www.thesecondroad.org/tsr/2008/06/23/cycling/