http://www.thesecondroad.org/tsr A supportive environment for those recovering from alcoholism and drug addiction Sat, 29 May 2010 03:23:23 +0000 http://backend.userland.com/rss092 en Hey Murph, Boy - not bringing home a paycheck is beginning to get on my nerves a bit...ya know?  Here I am, a grown woman, not very far away from the time in her life when she should be thinking about retirement, and, instead, I have no health insurance, and no ... http://www.thesecondroad.org/tsr/2010/05/28/to-whine-or-to-wine/ Dear Murph, It's been a long time since I've written.  After my doggie died I was in a funk and didn't do much of anything.  Then I got some kind of flu and was laid out for 2 days.  I'm feeling fine, but I'm in a kind of  no-man's-land lately.  I ... http://www.thesecondroad.org/tsr/2010/05/20/what-me-anxious/ Dear Murph, I knew it was coming.....I knew it for a long time.  She's been slowing down with a steady rhythm that always ends at the same place.  Even though she was a spitfire way beyond her years, the last couple of months have been a constant deterioration in her movement, ... http://www.thesecondroad.org/tsr/2010/05/12/so-long-my-girl/ Hey Murph, I just spent a wonderful afternoon celebrating my dear friend's birthday.  A small group of women gathered at her home, in the middle of The Blue Ridge  Mountains - at 59 I was the youngest.  This was not your typical group of "mature women ."  One of them, previously ... http://www.thesecondroad.org/tsr/2010/05/02/woman-who-run-with/ Hey Murph, I spent this morning cleaning my boyfriend's apartment as he is now in long term rehab.  I went there a couple weeks ago and got most of his belongings but today I had to do the dirty work....you know....cleaning the refrigerator, toilet, cabinets....you know......always save the best until last.  ... http://www.thesecondroad.org/tsr/2010/04/28/wreckage/ Dear Murph, I'm back home in Virginia tonight.  My luggage, unfortunately, is not.  I assume it will arrive sometime.....who knows?  It could be sitting in Newark.  There's not much I can do about that anyway, so I'm giving that one to you.  I'm also giving you the resentment of the day....disappointment.  ... http://www.thesecondroad.org/tsr/2010/04/25/would-you-like-a-glass-of-wine/ Dear Murph, Thanks so much for giving me this wonderful week with my family and friends and for allowing me to fill my soul with memories I had not thought about for a very long time.  Thanks for the healing that has taken place and for realizing, once again, the importance ... http://www.thesecondroad.org/tsr/2010/04/25/leaving-home-to-go-home/ Hey Murph, Not so good at writing every day, huh?  But being back in my hometown of Chicago has been a very emotional experience this time around.  For so long I have put my youth on a shelf and don't go there very often.  I spent a lot of years in ... http://www.thesecondroad.org/tsr/2010/04/23/lessons-from-my-childhood/ Hey Big Guy, The past two days in Chicago have been a constant ride on the "life is great" bus line and I don't want to get off.  From the moment I arrived on Monday night to right now (Wednesday at 11:00pm) I have had some absolutely extraordinary experiences.  For the ... http://www.thesecondroad.org/tsr/2010/04/21/what-im-learning-from-my-little-brother/ I finally made it to Chicago today.  Gonna spend a little time with friends and family and try to network and get some feedback on my manuscript.  The trip was uneventful - I read half of a novel and my old friend Mary and her fiance Ron picked me up ... http://www.thesecondroad.org/tsr/2010/04/20/hey-murph-im-in-chicago/ This blog needs to be about sex. But, like my life, it has constantly been sidetracked by my addiction. I live with an emotional abuse and incest survivor. This fact colors every single day of my life. It taints and poisons the most basic and honest of my human impulses – ... http://www.thesecondroad.org/tsr/2010/04/18/sidetracked/ Sorry I didn't write yesterday - I was so exhausted when I finally finished doing "Saturday" things that I settled in my bed for a little while to watch The History Channel - that was the end of it for me.  So, here I am, on Sunday afternoon, making sure ... http://www.thesecondroad.org/tsr/2010/04/18/hey-murph-im-a-day-late/ Dear Murph, I'm gonna get right to the point.  I'm leaving for Chicago on Monday (my hometown) to visit family and friends and to do some networking in the publishing arena.  I have an older sister who has not spoken to me for nearly 5 years, primarily due to the fact ... http://www.thesecondroad.org/tsr/2010/04/16/hey-murphits-all-about-my-serenity/ Hey Old Buddy, Old Pal - Once again it's the end of the day and I this is the first moment I've had to actually sit down.  I was talking to a friend today at the clinic where I volunteer and he asked me if I thought time was moving at ... http://www.thesecondroad.org/tsr/2010/04/15/murph-iv/ Hey Murph, I can barely keep my eyes open, but as I promised, I'm writing you.  Today was another one of those "where is my brain?" days.  Too much to do.....didn't get it all done, but I got to have lunch with an old friend who always lifts my spirits, and ... http://www.thesecondroad.org/tsr/2010/04/14/dear-murph-3/ Dear Murph, Well, here I am, as promised, so at least I've made it to day 2!   As you know, things have been quite shaky the last few days.  My boyfriend entered long term rehab in a moment of total surrender, so making  and instituting all the necessary decisions was nothing ... http://www.thesecondroad.org/tsr/2010/04/13/hey-murph-i-actually-wrote-again/ Hey Murph, I was just sitting here thinking about the first time we met.  Do you remember?  It was almost 7 years ago - doesn't seem that long and somehow it seems like we've been best buddies forever.  I was sitting in a jail cell - had been there 9 months ... http://www.thesecondroad.org/tsr/2010/04/12/the-first-time-we-met/ They're cleaning out my grandparents' house – the rooms are full of boxes and the walls are bare. Grandma's a collector, of things beautiful or sentimental or remotely useful, so there's a lot to go through. The depression generation, or “The Greatest Generation”, according to Grandpa and Tom Brokaw, tends ... http://www.thesecondroad.org/tsr/2010/04/12/possibilities/ since I've written.  As some of you may know, financial hard times have hit The Second Road, along with the rest of the country and, as a result, we have not been able to pay any salaries or update the site for a while.  But I know that we will ... http://www.thesecondroad.org/tsr/2010/04/11/its-been-a-long-time/ Whenever my grandpa got into a tizzy about something, my grandma used to say, "Patience is a virtue.  Possess it if you can.  It's seldom in a woman, and never in a man."  Yeah, yeah, yeah.  Well, patience was the topic at the meeting I attended this evening.  There was ... http://www.thesecondroad.org/tsr/2010/03/05/patience-2/ I relapsed. I was prescribed Vicodin for a back injury and I thought I could handle it. I was proud that I told my wife immediately about the prescription, gave her the bottle and let her dole out the pills. But I started banking them, saving them up and taking ... http://www.thesecondroad.org/tsr/2010/03/01/entwined-me-and-my-codependent/ [caption id="attachment_5681" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="Q: Is that YOUR picture? A: No one else's BUTT!"] [/caption] Never is there a begin...nor an end Counting the days, For whom or what? Marking the time. WHY? Whether monthly, daily, or by the hour. Attitude never should be dour. For even so--it is ... http://www.thesecondroad.org/tsr/2010/02/22/5683/ A lot of people don't like changes.  They keep their living room furniture in the same pattern for years, never even thinking of moving a table, or, God forbid, a couch, to give the room a different feng shui.  Many people would never try foods that they can't pronounce, nor ... http://www.thesecondroad.org/tsr/2010/02/15/changes/ At once I am bombarded with a multitude of thoughts, crashing in from all sides.  I go to more meetings than ever before for a number of reasons.  Mainly is that I may see how others are doing, to meet out-of-town Peeps, and new, freshly sobered guys, scared, shaking, wondering ... http://www.thesecondroad.org/tsr/2010/02/15/5669/ I've been depressed since yesterday, when I innocently brought my parents dinner (before work, I stopped by in the morning) and found my father hunched over breakfast in terrible pain. Lower right quadrant of the belly, a 9 out of 10. For an old stoic like my dad, ... http://www.thesecondroad.org/tsr/2010/02/11/we-fix-broken-hearts/ Hey folks, here is a video that TSR made, which features several amazing recovery stories and promotes the importance of addiction recovery! Enjoy (both parts)! Follow the break for videos. Leave your thoughts in the comments. http://www.thesecondroad.org/tsr/2010/02/11/what-are-we/ During my final year of drugging, drinking, and anthing-ing, an incident occurred which I will remember always.  I had been working the night shift at a very busy bar in North Naples, FL.  My hours, 6-2 six nights a week, I tended a very busy bar, and played also my ... http://www.thesecondroad.org/tsr/2010/02/10/a-short-story/ Twelve years ago I was rushing into a grocery store, trying to get a few things on my way to my next errand.  I, as usual, was moving at the speed of light, thinking about what I had to do next....when I saw her.  There she was, a big, black, ... http://www.thesecondroad.org/tsr/2010/02/09/5646/ SOME MORE STUFF! Winter will soon be but a memory...WHAT a memory!  Having lived in Naples, Florida 45 years, I can tell you, yes, I still remember.  Even now, when I allow a thought of those 32 years I spent in Cincinnati to live a moment with me--I can "feel" my ... http://www.thesecondroad.org/tsr/2010/02/08/5637/ Well, once again it is snowing like @&$%# where I live and I am homebound.  It also looks like no one will be moving out of their abodes for several days, due to the "inclement weather" we are experiencing in the Mid-Atlantic.  Being hold up in my home with six ... http://www.thesecondroad.org/tsr/2010/02/06/shut-in-literally/ Heard at a meeting (won't tell you who said these): "Never ever plan to NOT go to a meeting."  It is alright to not go, for one reason or another--just do not PLAN it that way.  Ya never know! When I take some time out to meditate--somehow I always ALWAYS end up ... http://www.thesecondroad.org/tsr/2010/02/06/heard-at-meetings/ RANTING AND RAVING--NOT JUST IN JEST A "good" blogger I am NOT.  I got really hooked, became obsessive, and spent 8-10 hours a day writing, reading, and commenting...for a year-and-a-half.  Three weeks ago I stopped blogging, just left it--with a goodbye message, of course. http://steveroni.blogspot.com if anyone's interested... In my blogging "career" ... http://www.thesecondroad.org/tsr/2010/02/02/please-feel-free-to-leave-comments/ Addiction has given me such an interesting bag of fears. Our roommate recently purchased an XBOX 360. He and my husband play and play and play, all day. Here are the things that I fear around the XBOX 360: I am afraid my husband will pawn it for drugs. We have few ... http://www.thesecondroad.org/tsr/2010/02/02/checking-out-2/ My husband Mark, I have to admit it, hates fish. And people fish evangelize him all the time. I used to too, in my pre-vegetarian days, when a trip to the aquarium would make me hungry. The problem, you see, is never that people were different and ... http://www.thesecondroad.org/tsr/2010/02/01/different-strokes/ Dear Peeps: "Every day is not Christmas Day Every night is not New Year's Eve Some days, chill and dreary, Some nights cold and unlit, Steve" : The night has fallen Dark has descended. My whole f****ing life Seems so upended. Will there be ever New, better 'morrow? Will there be never One without Sorrow? One day, all I ask Happy, Joy and Free: Day ... http://www.thesecondroad.org/tsr/2010/01/31/may-i-have-an-off-day/ Yesterday it snowed all day.  It was as if there was a giant flour sifter in the heavens that just endlessly dusted layer upon layer of light, pure, dainty snow powder all over the land.  I stayed in the house, the grey sky telling me to be still, enjoy the ... http://www.thesecondroad.org/tsr/2010/01/31/the-snow-spoke-2/ Great is thy faithfulness, oh God my father, There is no shadow of turning in thee. Thy changest not, thy compassions they fail not, As thou hast been, thou forever will be. For the last few days, I can't stop singing this old church song, especially the part about "no shadow of turning." I ... http://www.thesecondroad.org/tsr/2010/01/30/there-is-no-shadow-of-turning-in-thee/ A friend called me last night. She's in the midst of some very messy office politics at work. She thinks her coworkers are being difficult. They think she's being unreasonable. Her boss thinks they're all wrong and they all think the boss is wrong. "Do ... http://www.thesecondroad.org/tsr/2010/01/29/slogans/ QUOTE:What's the difference between an addict & an alcoholic? Both will steal your wallet, but the addict will spend all night helping you look for it. SHORT STORY Well, I'm still sober after another (umm!) day.  Nights are so good--like an escape. As a child, I would wander about the farm after everyone ... http://www.thesecondroad.org/tsr/2010/01/29/young-love-me-and-muscatel/ I went to see "Avatar" last night.  I originally hadn't planned on going, but heard amazing things about how beautiful the movie was and that the message was profound.  I know absolutely nothing  about all the technical voo-doo that went into making this  $300,000 million dollar movie, but I do ... http://www.thesecondroad.org/tsr/2010/01/28/im-moving-to-pandora/