http://www.thesecondroad.org/tsr A supportive environment for those recovering from alcoholism and drug addiction Sat, 06 Mar 2010 04:09:30 +0000 http://backend.userland.com/rss092 en Whenever my grandpa got into a tizzy about something, my grandma used to say, "Patience is a virtue.  Possess it if you can.  It's seldom in a woman, and never in a man."  Yeah, yeah, yeah.  Well, patience was the topic at the meeting I attended this evening.  There was ... http://www.thesecondroad.org/tsr/2010/03/05/patience-2/ I relapsed. I was prescribed Vicodin for a back injury and I thought I could handle it. I was proud that I told my wife immediately about the prescription, gave her the bottle and let her dole out the pills. But I started banking them, saving them up and taking ... http://www.thesecondroad.org/tsr/2010/03/01/entwined-me-and-my-codependent/ [caption id="attachment_5681" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="Q: Is that YOUR picture? A: No one else's BUTT!"] [/caption] Never is there a begin...nor an end Counting the days, For whom or what? Marking the time. WHY? Whether monthly, daily, or by the hour. Attitude never should be dour. For even so--it is ... http://www.thesecondroad.org/tsr/2010/02/22/5683/ A lot of people don't like changes.  They keep their living room furniture in the same pattern for years, never even thinking of moving a table, or, God forbid, a couch, to give the room a different feng shui.  Many people would never try foods that they can't pronounce, nor ... http://www.thesecondroad.org/tsr/2010/02/15/changes/ At once I am bombarded with a multitude of thoughts, crashing in from all sides.  I go to more meetings than ever before for a number of reasons.  Mainly is that I may see how others are doing, to meet out-of-town Peeps, and new, freshly sobered guys, scared, shaking, wondering ... http://www.thesecondroad.org/tsr/2010/02/15/5669/ I've been depressed since yesterday, when I innocently brought my parents dinner (before work, I stopped by in the morning) and found my father hunched over breakfast in terrible pain. Lower right quadrant of the belly, a 9 out of 10. For an old stoic like my dad, ... http://www.thesecondroad.org/tsr/2010/02/11/we-fix-broken-hearts/ Hey folks, here is a video that TSR made, which features several amazing recovery stories and promotes the importance of addiction recovery! Enjoy (both parts)! Follow the break for videos. Leave your thoughts in the comments. http://www.thesecondroad.org/tsr/2010/02/11/what-are-we/ During my final year of drugging, drinking, and anthing-ing, an incident occurred which I will remember always.  I had been working the night shift at a very busy bar in North Naples, FL.  My hours, 6-2 six nights a week, I tended a very busy bar, and played also my ... http://www.thesecondroad.org/tsr/2010/02/10/a-short-story/ Twelve years ago I was rushing into a grocery store, trying to get a few things on my way to my next errand.  I, as usual, was moving at the speed of light, thinking about what I had to do next....when I saw her.  There she was, a big, black, ... http://www.thesecondroad.org/tsr/2010/02/09/5646/ SOME MORE STUFF! Winter will soon be but a memory...WHAT a memory!  Having lived in Naples, Florida 45 years, I can tell you, yes, I still remember.  Even now, when I allow a thought of those 32 years I spent in Cincinnati to live a moment with me--I can "feel" my ... http://www.thesecondroad.org/tsr/2010/02/08/5637/ Well, once again it is snowing like @&$%# where I live and I am homebound.  It also looks like no one will be moving out of their abodes for several days, due to the "inclement weather" we are experiencing in the Mid-Atlantic.  Being hold up in my home with six ... http://www.thesecondroad.org/tsr/2010/02/06/shut-in-literally/ Heard at a meeting (won't tell you who said these): "Never ever plan to NOT go to a meeting."  It is alright to not go, for one reason or another--just do not PLAN it that way.  Ya never know! When I take some time out to meditate--somehow I always ALWAYS end up ... http://www.thesecondroad.org/tsr/2010/02/06/heard-at-meetings/ RANTING AND RAVING--NOT JUST IN JEST A "good" blogger I am NOT.  I got really hooked, became obsessive, and spent 8-10 hours a day writing, reading, and commenting...for a year-and-a-half.  Three weeks ago I stopped blogging, just left it--with a goodbye message, of course. http://steveroni.blogspot.com if anyone's interested... In my blogging "career" ... http://www.thesecondroad.org/tsr/2010/02/02/please-feel-free-to-leave-comments/ Addiction has given me such an interesting bag of fears. Our roommate recently purchased an XBOX 360. He and my husband play and play and play, all day. Here are the things that I fear around the XBOX 360: I am afraid my husband will pawn it for drugs. We have few ... http://www.thesecondroad.org/tsr/2010/02/02/checking-out-2/ My husband Mark, I have to admit it, hates fish. And people fish evangelize him all the time. I used to too, in my pre-vegetarian days, when a trip to the aquarium would make me hungry. The problem, you see, is never that people were different and ... http://www.thesecondroad.org/tsr/2010/02/01/different-strokes/ Dear Peeps: "Every day is not Christmas Day Every night is not New Year's Eve Some days, chill and dreary, Some nights cold and unlit, Steve" : The night has fallen Dark has descended. My whole f****ing life Seems so upended. Will there be ever New, better 'morrow? Will there be never One without Sorrow? One day, all I ask Happy, Joy and Free: Day ... http://www.thesecondroad.org/tsr/2010/01/31/may-i-have-an-off-day/ Yesterday it snowed all day.  It was as if there was a giant flour sifter in the heavens that just endlessly dusted layer upon layer of light, pure, dainty snow powder all over the land.  I stayed in the house, the grey sky telling me to be still, enjoy the ... http://www.thesecondroad.org/tsr/2010/01/31/the-snow-spoke-2/ Great is thy faithfulness, oh God my father, There is no shadow of turning in thee. Thy changest not, thy compassions they fail not, As thou hast been, thou forever will be. For the last few days, I can't stop singing this old church song, especially the part about "no shadow of turning." I ... http://www.thesecondroad.org/tsr/2010/01/30/there-is-no-shadow-of-turning-in-thee/ A friend called me last night. She's in the midst of some very messy office politics at work. She thinks her coworkers are being difficult. They think she's being unreasonable. Her boss thinks they're all wrong and they all think the boss is wrong. "Do ... http://www.thesecondroad.org/tsr/2010/01/29/slogans/ QUOTE:What's the difference between an addict & an alcoholic? Both will steal your wallet, but the addict will spend all night helping you look for it. SHORT STORY Well, I'm still sober after another (umm!) day.  Nights are so good--like an escape. As a child, I would wander about the farm after everyone ... http://www.thesecondroad.org/tsr/2010/01/29/young-love-me-and-muscatel/ I went to see "Avatar" last night.  I originally hadn't planned on going, but heard amazing things about how beautiful the movie was and that the message was profound.  I know absolutely nothing  about all the technical voo-doo that went into making this  $300,000 million dollar movie, but I do ... http://www.thesecondroad.org/tsr/2010/01/28/im-moving-to-pandora/ Reviewed by Ginger B. "A Piece of Cake" is a memoir written by San Francisco attorney, Cupcake Brown, in which she painstakingly chronicles her life beginning at age 11, when her mother suddenly dies, through the hell of the next 15 or so years,  and eventually to the awakening she finds ... http://www.thesecondroad.org/tsr/2010/01/27/a-piece-of-cake/ Years ago, I met a woman who, when she was disagreeing with her partner, would tell him, "That's not my reality." She had a way of saying it that implied there was a real Reality (hers) and some alternate Crazytown Reality (his). You had only to hear those ... http://www.thesecondroad.org/tsr/2010/01/27/thats-not-my-experience/ I'm addicted to Snus. Stupid little tobacco-ish pouches being pushed by 7-11's for people like me, who want the zing of nicotine without the social stigma of smoking or spitting. Reviews talk about them tasting more like candy than tobacco, but they'll give you mouth cancer all the same. I ... http://www.thesecondroad.org/tsr/2010/01/26/switching-addictions/ My guts won't catch up with my reality. I wonder if they ever will. If my husband is slightly grumpy, my emotional reaction is to begin to prepare for him to disappear, forever, into the land of addiction. I get really, really tired of myself when I do this. I know ... http://www.thesecondroad.org/tsr/2010/01/26/my-guts/ LEARN BY DOING IF a girl--who never speaks to me--walked up to me on a Saturday night and said, "Steve, my husband will celebrate his sober anniversary tomorrow morning at 7 AM meeting. Could you be there?  My husband would like that very much." I would answer either, "OK."...or..."I don't come to ... http://www.thesecondroad.org/tsr/2010/01/26/5473/ This morning, Alix at The Second Road forwarded me a link to an article about sex addiction by psychologist Michael Bader. When I saw the title ("Sex Addiction: A B.S. Excuse for Not Thinking"), I almost didn't click through (the whole "excuse" thing is so tiresome) but I couldn't ... http://www.thesecondroad.org/tsr/2010/01/25/diagnosing-sex-addiction-or-not/ of being sick and tired.  This time I mean it literally.  I am, once again, velcroed to my bed, and have been for the last several days.  Flu?  Funk?  Stuff?  It boils down to headache, sore throat, nausea and absolutely debilitating weakness.  This pattern has been a natural part of ... http://www.thesecondroad.org/tsr/2010/01/23/im-sick-and-tired/ This moment of time Is still yours--and mine. Let us be happy And forgiving, Caring, Sharing, Loving... And in PEACE! Living With less stress. Shall we? Yesssss! And maybe tomorrow also? Sorry Peeps. I got slightly hooked on "waxing poetic" the past several months.  But there IS always the "real story": A week ago I ran into a guy at ... http://www.thesecondroad.org/tsr/2010/01/23/ya-never-know/ There are some people, places, and events in the past that I would prefer cease existing. I was preparing an exercise for a prayer meeting I'm leading soon, and it was based on the Serenity Prayer. I realized that I one of the things I cannot change is that certain ... http://www.thesecondroad.org/tsr/2010/01/23/please-stop-existing/ I was browsing around Target the other day, when I came across the most fabulous book I have seen in a long, long time: How to Change Someone You Love: Four Steps to Help You Help Them. I laughed the kind of laugh that ought to have sent flocks ... http://www.thesecondroad.org/tsr/2010/01/22/how-to-change-anyone/ I've been walking around with a sense of dread for the last several days because I've gotten a new job, and I'd been afraid of having to quit one of my part time jobs to be able to have time for it. I am thrilled with the new job, but ... http://www.thesecondroad.org/tsr/2010/01/21/when-i-do-it-right/ written by b.e. I felt moved and compelled to respond to the Road Warrior’s wonderful and very true Jan. 19, 2010 blog “Lighten UP!” Soon, I ran out of room in the comment section (I’m a wanna be blogger). Tonight, I'm tired like many other people with many ... http://www.thesecondroad.org/tsr/2010/01/21/a-comment-to-share/ Macleans has an interesting column making the case for the role of politics in decisions about programs like Insite:...each person’s own opinions on federalism may not line up neatly with his views on drug policy. Indeed, if you are a strong centralist when it comes to Confederation AND you loathe ... http://www.thesecondroad.org/tsr/2010/01/20/politics-science-and-harm-reduction/ Philosophy bites has an interview with Thomas Pink on free will that I think touches on points important to thinking about addiction. It's my anecdotal sense that much of the resistance to the disease model comes from concerns about free will. Specifically, that the disease model suggests a loss of ... http://www.thesecondroad.org/tsr/2010/01/20/the-problem-of-free-will-in-addiction/ Here and Now has a good, brief interview with A. Thomas McLellan.Hea http://www.thesecondroad.org/tsr/2010/01/20/here-and-now-with-a-thomas-mclellan/ Doctors criticise ‘reckless’ drug abuse guidance http://www.thesecondroad.org/tsr/2010/01/20/not-on-the-same-side/ I don't usually post this kind of thing, but I've always had a soft spot for Juliana Hatfield. I think she's a little too kind to Dr. Drew.I think money -- and the possibility of renewed visibility leading to future job offers -- is the only legitimate, honest motivation for ... http://www.thesecondroad.org/tsr/2010/01/20/i-want-heidi-fleiss-to-get-well-but-i-dont-think-celebrity-rehab-is-the-solution/ I'd never heard of this guy or "Baumol's cost disease", but it makes a lot of sense and is has difficult implications for the future of of addiction treatment, particularly for providers that serve indigent populations or focus on offering affordable care. Update: I got a few questions about this. ... http://www.thesecondroad.org/tsr/2010/01/20/addiction-treatment-afflicted-with-baumols-cost-disease/ Last week, I was sitting cross-legged on my plump little black cushion on the floor of the Zendo I visit regularly and listening to a talk about cleaning incense burners. And as I listened, the very deep and profound thought that came to me was, "I seriously am never ... http://www.thesecondroad.org/tsr/2010/01/20/zen-and-the-art-of-perfectionism/