Approximately 1 week ago I purchased internet service for my new apartment.

Over the last week, I have been on the phone 3 times with 4 different technical support wizards attempting to figure out why my internet service won’t work.

My last conversation lasted approximately 65 minutes on a cellphone that is rapidly running out of minutes before the new billing cycle on the 14th.

Technical Support Wizard Man who I secretly refer to as Sk8tr Boi based on his Spicoliesque demeanor and the faint aroma of marijuana that I could detect through the phone lines, kept me on the phone the longest and was the least helpful. …

Our family sessions are going to be coming to an end here in a few weeks. We are starting to cut back to one day a week - its been almost four months and progress has been made. Our oldest attends school now, does no homework, but he attends school. He adheres to the house rules, which are in writing now, we no longer avoid topics because of fear from conflict, everything seems to have fallen nicely into place, he is not quick to anger or blow, the drama is almost non -existent if that is even possible in the…

Dear  Friends,

Our Executive Director and founder of  The Second Road just received news last night that her father has metastatic cancer.  Melissa lost her sister last winter to breast cancer and, has since that time, legally adopted her sister’s 5 children, thereby making a major change in her life.

As I write this she is driving back home to be with her dad and her mom.

I ask special prayers, thoughts, and lots of light and serenity for Melissa as she faces yet another example of life on life’s terms.

Thank-you,

Till Next Time-

Your Humble Road Warrior

…

I laughed today as I remembered something from an AlAnon meeting I went to early on.  It was a new group, strangers, a little out of my comfort zone.

It was the usual mixed bag; young and old, men and women, everyone in various stages on the path to powerlessness.

What I clearly remember, what I took away, was an 84 year old woman there.  She said her son had quit drinking 18 years ago. Does that sound like a long time?  She was 66 years old when that happened!

A bolt of clarity hit me upside the head. The woman was living…

Heroin has a very high potential for addiction, rarely are people able to experiment with the drug without developing a dependency. The painful withdrawal process from heroin keeps users in a desperate, destructive cycle.

A naturally occurring psychoactive compound has been scientifically identified as possessing anti-addictive properties. Ibogaine is used in Africa by the Bwiti tribe, for ritual and medicinal purposes. Research has proven that Ibogaine creates an immediate reduction in craving, even eliminating the potent withdrawal symptoms of heroin.

Have you ever heard of Ibogaine? Chances are that you haven’t.

Due to its controversial nature it is not used to treat opiate…

Listening to NPR’s This American Life story on transgendered children, I was struck with the similarity of feelings as parent of an addict.

Two sets of parents were featured. The reaction of both mothers was to blame themselves; the endless tail chasing of trying to figure out what YOU did. I know it so well, I know how long one can stay stuck there. One mother said she was sure it was because she had prayed for a boy, since she already had two girls. It takes years to believe in your gut that you didn’t cause it.

One of the fathers…

“We made a decision to turn our lives and our wills over to the care of God”

The step 3 worksheet my sponsor gave me asked the following:

How was your co dependent behavior in conflict with your values.

It was painful to remember the things I had done.  By not acting, I condoned drug use. I rationalized what I knew to be theft. I lied for my addict. I signed papers in his name. There is more, but gratefully it will stay between my sponsor and I.

I did things for the addict that had I observed someone else acting that way, I…

Some  believe there are angels among us.  I never gave it any thought B.H. (before heroin).  But my son is alive today through the immeasurable kindness of  strangers.  The people who gave him a dollar, a sandwich, a smile, or a hand up are many.  I will never be able to express my gratitude to the good people along the way to rock bottom who tried to break the fall. I’m in awe of the ones who did not judge.

My son has told me of kind strangers who saw a terribly troubled soul, and reached out. I would like to…

I recently watched the pilot episode of United States of Tara a new Showtime Original by Diablo Cody. It is about a housewife with multiple personality disorder and in true Cody style is written to perfection. Cody just has a way of taking dialogue to a level that is beyond my wildest expectations. I really think she is one of the best writers of our time. I love everything that comes out of her brilliantly defiant mind. Check the show out you will not be sorry.

Watching the show reminded me of a sponsee I once had who had multiple personality…

Okay, it was bound to happen. Everybody who rides a motorized bike is going to drop it at some point.

Perhaps its just that I wasn’t expect to have trouble leaving my own driveway. But there I was caught in the drainage ditch on the other side of the dirt road I live on and going down.

I was going about five miles and hour so there was plenty of time to jump clear. Charlie had gone on ahead on his bike, so I was on my own with a two-wheeled vehicle that weighs considerable more than I do. Plus, I was…

Ashley Bryan, 85 last Sunday.

The Warm Springs Gallery in Warm Springs, Virginia (population around 900) had an opening for a rare exhibition of his paintings. Bryan is best known as a writer and illustrator of children’s books. He was one of the first persons of color to present images of children of color in picture books that were not stereotypical. He was, as Poet Nikki Giovanni put it at the opening, a real pioneer.

I was working, of course. On assignment. Yet I can’t remember when I’ve had a better time hanging out with anyone. I think I was not alone…

Multi-tasking.

I’d like to suggest it’s the antithesis of sobriety–at least of the all-important part of sobriety that’s manifested by a calm mind.

I re-decided this (for the 89th time!)  a couple of days ago while  talking on the phone while e-mailing someone else while simultaneously doing a web-search while trying to block out a too-loud hall conversation among my colleagues. My mind felt as though it were being–as a wonderful editor friend of mine likes to put it–as though it were being pecked to death by ducks.

I’ve often resolved to just do one thing at a time, but I can never…

God and I can only partner in any useful way in the real world, and the reality is that the real world often makes me uncomfortable.

I’ve certainly done my share of damage by shying away from my own discomfort. Back in the early nineties when I was first climbing out of addiction, I ran a railroad crew hotel for about a year. It was the last remaining business in a once-thriving town. At the time, I was filled with the desire to save people as I, myself, had been saved—filled with it to the point of omnipotence. I was certain…

and decided that I sound just too-too spiritual and perfect sounding. In fact, I thought I sounded like the kind of person I wouldn’t enjoy lunching with at all.

So I feel a burning desire to make one thing clear about my personal code of conduct (that’s the title of my last post). It’s very much about the way I act, not about the way I necessarily feel.

In other words, sobriety hasn’t turned me into a saint who always feels kindly toward everyone else on the planet. I’m still annoyed with people about 50 percent of the time. What sobriety has…

I have a code of conduct, but it’s far less specific than it used to be back in the days when I used such a code mainly as a Richter scale for measuring the strength my current rebellion.

These days I try to be kind, thoughtful, completely honest with myself (an ever-evolving process) and as honest with others as kindness allows.

I try to approach people who are different than I, or who don’t seem to be behaving as I think they should, with curiosity and compassion, and without judgment — which is still a huge struggle for me, particularly…

I make my living reporting for public radio, which means that I spend my days having conversations with folks I don’t know well. And as I do a lot of feature work–as opposed to hard news, a lot of those conversations go on for quite some time.  A successful in-depth interview requires me to help the person I’m talking to relax and just talk to me about what they think or feel or have experienced.

I used to think that to be successful, this kind of interview had to be done in person. But then, as I began to do more…

This appeared in 81–a regional publication that I love. Like most of what I write, it’s about issues that are relevant to sobriety.

lastwords

June 2008

Crossing the Jordan River
So What About God?

by Martha Woodroof

I began school in the Southern Bible Belt before the Supreme Court removed prayer from the classroom in 1962 with Engel v. Vitale. I was the daughter of an agnostic and an atheist. Jesus was every child’s friend but mine.

On some Monday mornings, my teacher—Southern sweet and impenetrably groomed— would purse her lips and ask any student who hadn’t been in Sunday school to stand up. When I…

Our Head Cat, Mr. Lewis, is old, has feline HIV and has been on his dignified way out enough times to qualify as the definitive proof that cats have nine lives.

Lewis’ latest flirtation was death involved a bad reaction to a new medicine for joint pain. He stopped eating–and I mean stopped. We began syringe feeding (we’d been through that before), but as Head Cat’s baseline weight hovers at about 7.5 pounds, there wasn’t much wiggle room. Charlie and I were soon calling for help.

Our wonderful house-calling vet galloped to the rescue, bringing medicine to heal Lewis’ stomach. I was…

Had this essay come out in Sunday’s Chicago Tribune, and I was amazed at the response. So, I thought I’d post it here and see if any of you had anything to say about what I had to say.

Age before beauty is true view

By Martha Woodroof

May 25, 2008

For me, 60 need not be the new 30. I’ve already been 30, and I prefer adventure to repetition.

I do still dance uncontrollably in grocery store aisles, but I’ve moved way beyond the person I was at 30. And I have no desire for anyone to take me as anything other than what…

I really believe that sobriety is about living and let-living, forgiveness, tolerance, and getting along with others–and this certainly includes our neighbors.

That’s one of my neighbors in the picture. I just discovered that she took a recent stroll through my gardens, leaving huge holes where flowers used to be.

Sometimes, sobriety is a real challenge. . .

Here’s the deal. I just finished the second draft of my second book, which has the working title, God Is. Now What? It’s basically about having a working faith in God outside of the confines of organized religion. The manuscript is up at my agents, but I’m frankly hungry for feedback. Below is a piece of the “Note,” which opens things up. I’d love to hear reactions just to this tiny portion. What I’m trying to do is be part of what I see as a change in our conversation about faith.

“One bright May morning my husband Charlie, who’d just read the…

I’m rotten at doing anything with visuals, but I wanted to stick these up, because Shadow asked for them. There are six of these babies. They make it very hard for me to pay attention to what I’m supposed to be doing.

I’m back in the office and, to celebrate, my foxes brought out their kits. I went running (literally) around the office letting my very dignified and very mature colleagues know. They in turn came running (literally) into my office and we all stood around ogling this chubby furry creature  scarfing up my bird seed.

There are four of them, I hear. I was at the physical therapist’s (durn!) when the other three came out for a viewing. There was evidently more running and more ogling.

You know, life is good. It’s hard to come back to the office after doing nothing that…

Okay, I’ve been clean and sober for quite a long time. Enough time to have gotten and hung onto a great job, husband, house and 2 cats. In other words, I’m an official grown-up and proud to be so.

However–and I do love this–there are still times when I feel like a kid playing dress-up, and, yes, this is one of those times. I’m posting tonight from one of the guest houses at Montpelier, James and Dolley Madison’s ancestral plantation, all thousand-plus acres of it in Madison County, Virginia. The place is almost at the end of an enormous, multi-multi-million dollar…

I am a fan of the frankly gaudy, and so am in love with a certain local Chinese restaurant–not as much for its food as for its decor. There are enormous crystal chandeliers everywhere, lots of shiny red stuff, huge aquariums full of enormous golden fish. The staff sports shiny clothes and barks at each other in staccato Chinese, which sounds exotic and slightly stern to my American ears.

I treasure what I think of as the small moments of theater that happen in my real life, and two of them occurred at The Dragon Palace–both at holiday times. One took…

The above image is from bedouinweaving.com.

Just finished the first draft of a story on a Charlottesville, Virginia, woman who is helping Negev Bedouin Women market their traditional, hand-woven rugs in this country–and not as a money-making endeavor for herself.

Political realities forced the Bedouin to end their traditional nomadic life in the middle of the last century. The Negev Bedouin’s settled in villages and towns as the poorest of the poor. The men took factory jobs, but the women–once integral to herding, harvesting, weaving, and home-keeping were left without anything useful to do or any way to make money.

Prue Thorner, the…

  Charlie rescued these from an old house that was being emptied way back when I first knew him. Wherever we’ve lived, they’ve always gotten the place of honor in our gardens. Whenever the garden gods get planted and flowered, that place feels like home.

I love their peaceful faces and the way they seem to relate to each other. They are separate, but they are so obviously interconnected. Just the way I want to be with the people I care about.