I had a kind of crazy day today. I had almost the whole day off, and I spent it deliciously in bed. I’d been hoping that my husband wouldn’t be home for my day off, as it has been a long time since I’ve had the house to myself. I napped and read a novel. It was great.

However, after about 2:00, I started wondering where he was. I wondered half out of dread of him coming home, and half out of fear that he wouldn’t come home. Especially after realizing that he’d been going through my email and reading on…

So…I got the bad news from the dentists. Since I have several different problems with my mouth, I have to see several different dentists - there’s a specialist for everything nowadays, isn’t there? Well, the grand total for 3 lousy teeth that you can hardly see is a whopping $6,000.00 - give or take a couple hundred bucks. I have no health insurance, so that’s a major hit to my wallet (actually it’s a major hit to my credit card), and there are so many other things I would rather do with that kind of money - you know -…

by Nic Sheff

Reviewed by Ginger B.

After I read “Beautiful Boy” by David Sheff, I waited a week and then picked up his son’s memoir of the plunge into depravity that comes with a wicked addition to methamphetamines. Nic Sheff is indeed, a beautiful boy - bright, artistic, precocious, athletic - who also battles with the all-too-common demons that many teen-agers face. He is overly competitive, tries constantly to fit in with people he thinks are his peers and is completely unsatisfied with his appearance.

When the book opens, Nic, who has already been in and out of rehab, is, once again,…

by Allen Berger, Ph.D.

Reviewed by Ginger B.

What a great little book! When I received the review galley for this book, I must admit that I said to myself, “Great! Another ‘How to’ recovery book. I’ve read so many of these, I could write one myself.” But my cynical attitude immediately started to shift as I began reading the introduction, in which Berger states that we, as addicts, do stupid things that are self-destructive and not in our best interest, especially in early recovery. He then writes, “So without further ado, here are my top twelve nominations for the stupid things we…

beautiful boy - a father’s journey through his son’s addiction

by David Sheff

reviewed by Ginger Bauler

I started reading this book on a Saturday and couldn’t stop until I was finished on Sunday. This story of a father’s roller-coaster journey through his young son’s addiction to methamphetamines drew me in as no other memoir has done in a long time. To use adjectives such as compelling or riveting does not do justice to the task Sheff has taken on in this memoir. He openly shares with the reader his own drug use as a young man, his inappropriate fathering after an ugly…

I watched my story in multiple parts on The Second Road’s home page and felt like I’ve stripped naket in cyberspace. I’ve shared my story in private and very public forums now for years, I’ve had the most inimate details published all over but haven’t experienced this before. Now, my drug story is “out there” memorialized on the internet. I can imagine now being held to a standard where every future deviation from the video version will be subject to criticism a la the author of “A Million Pieces” I’ve no doubt offended many of the same traditional recovery stakeholders.…

David Sedaris is one of my favorite writers and he’s written a fantastic essay about smoking in this month’s issue of the New Yorker.

“I recall seeing ashtrays in movie theatres and grocery stores, but they didn’t make me want to smoke. In fact, it was just the opposite. Once, I drove an embroidery needle into my mother’s carton of Winstons, over and over, as if it were a voodoo doll. She then beat me for twenty seconds, at which point she ran out of breath and stood there panting, “That’s . . . not . . . funny.”

Read the rest…

By Lee Stringer

Reviewed by Ginger B.

In the spring of 1985, Lee Stringer, through a series of self-imposed, fairly destructive life changing decisions, finds himself being evicted from his one room apartment, and “Half an hour later I’m on the street, clutching a voucher for all that remains of my worldly possessions. Only instead of feeling put out, I feel strangely relieved. Elated even. I have just been released, I realize, from all earthly claims upon me. …Off to the freedom of the streets! Off to whatever happens next.” The next two hundred pages or so are stories about “what happens…

I’ve mentioned before on my site that there was a time in my life where I was the drug user in my relationship. When we first met, my husband was clean. I wasn’t.

I am not sure, however, that I’ve explained the extent of my drug use. I was talking to MPJ last night about it, and wondering if I might not be (drumroll) a dry drug addict. If someone else told me my story, told me she’d gotten clean by moving away from the place where she was using, told me she was sure she’d never use again even though she never…

by Brenda Iliff

reviewed by Ginger Bauler

Brenda Iliff, the Director of the Hazelden Women’s Recovery Center has written a straightforward, direct yet sensitive book on issues relating specifically to women in recovery. While the tenets of the 12 step program are a solid foundation for many who choose that path, the language, written 70 years ago, reflects a period when women were not considered (or rarely considered) to be part of the community of “men” who were afflicted with the disease of Alcoholism. Times have certainly changed and I have found that often women are offended at their lack of inclusion…

by Greg W.

I was driving into work today and listening to a guilty pleasure of mine Howard    Stern. They had Jeff Conway on from Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew and laughing  about his detox experience from the show. They would play clips of his audio and how much pain he was in. Of course all the characters on the show were cracking up and laughing about how foolish he sounded, but all I could feel is sympathy for how sick he is and the realization that he is probably going to die from this disease. It upsets me that the…

“Blackout Girl” by Jennifer Storm

Reviewed by Ginger B.

Jennifer Storm’s account of her dark and disturbing journey through her teens is a horrifying narrative of her tortured youth, and her pin-ball life choices which landed her in situations which were more than disturbing to me as the reader. On page 3, she describes her first rape at the age of 12, and the next three quarters of the book is a chronicle of her cataclysmic demise, almost to the point of annihilation. I have read my share of stories of addiction and Ms. Storm’s tale is among the most unnerving I…

“Sleepaway School”

by Lee Stringer

Reviewed by Ginger B.

“We wee people were all at risk. Every mother’s son of us. Even those of us with overflowing larders and soft, warm beds. Our young hearts like leaves in the wind, we all had to face down the inner turmoil of being, simply children. We were all on shaky ground.”

These few sentences, written in the preface of this memoir, give the reader a taste of what is to follow in this personal, yet often matter-of-fact description of the adolescent struggles of a troubled, young, poor, black boy in an environment that is often inclined…

The Sports Lover’s Guide to Recovery

by Andrew L. Dieden

Reviewed by Ginger B.

I am not a sports person. I’d rather watch mold grow than sit in front of a television looking at hockey players hit each other with sticks, or try to find out who’s got the damn football on any given Sunday afternoon. I know nothing about most sports, except that when I was a kid, Ron Santo from the Chicago Cubs was called Pizza Man. I’ve been to a few baseball games, one college football game (a total waste of a beautiful afternoon) and saw Meadlowlark Lemon play for…

THIS SOBER LIFE

by Dave Breslin

Reviewed by Ginger B.

I just finished reading a book of poetry called “This Sober Life.” The book was self-published in 2002 by Dave Breslin, who, at the time of publication, was about 2/1/2 years clean and sober. Breslin got sober at the age of 19 and writes that he wasn’t even aware that he could be suffering from alcoholism at such a young age. He thought he was just being “a normal teenage kid”, but the depression that ensued when he stopped drinking made him acutely aware that he was battling much more than the average…

The Craving Brain
Ronald A. Ruden, M.D., Ph.D.
With Marcia Byalick

Reviewed by Ginger B.

Why is it that some people can nurse a glass of wine all night long, while others can’t stop until they become totally inebriated or even black out? Why can some people stop gambling after their allotted money is spent, while others continue until they’ve lost everything, over and over again? Is addiction physical or psychological? Is it inherited or learned? Is it a simple choice that one makes or is it a disease that affects countless numbers of people world-wide? These questions have plagued the planet since its…

TIMES SQUARE RABBI
By Yehudah Fine
Reviewed by Ginger B.

Yehudah Fine is not your typical rabbi. After creating a school for children of migrant farm workers in California, Yehudah moved to Brooklyn, founded the Jewish Family Institute and, of course, began working with adolescents in crisis in the recesses of Manhattan, Queens and the Bronx. Donning jeans and a New York Yankees baseball cap, the unconventional teacher would roam what he called “The Way Beyond” looking for kids whose lives have ended up as desolate as the streets on which they are found.

Yehudah’s spiritual message is based on the 8 steps of…

“No More Letting Go”
by Debra Jay
Reviewed by Ginger Bauler

In “No More Letting Go – The Spirituality of Taking Action Against Alcoholism and Drug Addiction”, counselor Debra Jay has masterfully yet tenderly approached the subjects of addiction and intervention in a manner that befriends and benefits all parties involved - the addict as well as the loved ones who suffer from this progressively fatal disease. She confronts the existing tenet of allowing an addict to “hit bottom” and then offering a response of “tough love” with a more compassionate, spiritual approach in which the addict and her/his loved ones join together…

Check out 12stepradio.com for recovery music 24/7.

A Brief History

Around February of 2004, before 12StepRadio ever existed, Bill Z. and Gracie H. were talking on the phone (he’s in California and she’s in Tennessee) about Bill’s vision of one day being able to walk into a music store and having an entire section dedicated to recovery music. (Gracie reminded him that it wasn’t all that long ago when bookstores didn’t have “recovery” sections.) A few days later, Gracie fired off an E-mail to Bill. It went something like this,
“Why don’t you start an Internet radio station that plays recovery music?” Bill went online…

Since 1996, photographer Brenda Ann Kenneally has documented the families in her Brooklyn neighborhood, quietly witnessing their struggle with poverty, social institutions, and the illicit drug trade. Having inspired the likes of Eugene Richards and Thomas Roma, Brooklyn provides an inexhaustible muse, and Kenneally comes to the familiar ground with a fresh perspective. Her poignant, psychological photographs span generations, tracing the same people she sees everyday on her street. With her camera, Kenneally narrates their tale of both hope and despair as she explores how her subjects empower themselves in a lost culture of drugs and prison. Money, Power, Respect:…

MINDFUL RECOVERY – A Spiritual Path to Healing from Addiction

By Thomas and Beverly Bien

Reviewed by Ginger Bauler

The title of this gem of a book is misleading. When one reads the title, one assumes that this is some sort of guide to recovery via Eastern Philosophy. Although the book does focus on processes more common to those already familiar with meditation, the authors have combined the practices of Buddhism with Western science and psychology in such a way that the reader is comfortable and at ease with the language of this journey. And the quest is universal – we are all…

Looks like a captivating read, The Discovering Alcoholic gives us some insight and points out some worthy quotes…

Kiss Tomorrow Goodbye
Thu, 12/06/2007
I ran across an interesting interview today with John O’Dowd, author of Kiss Tomorrow Goodbye: The Barbara Payton Story. It’s a biography of Barabara Payton, a 50’s A-movie starlet that at the top of her game plunged into alcoholic abyss from which she never returned. In little more than a decade she went from starring on the silver screen with the likes of Gregory Peck to the life of an alcoholic prostitute dead at the young age of 37.

While it may…

This book will not be released until next year, but it sounds like a fascinating story worth taking a look at…

Bar Flower: My Decadently Destructive Days And Nights As A Tokyo Nightclub Hostess
by Lea Jacobson
St. Martin’s Press
Spring 2008

“Smashed meets the Far East in this harrowing memoir of an American woman’s sojourn in Japan’s erotic “floating world”

During daylight hours, the city of Tokyo is the quintessential image of robotic conformity. But at night, it transforms into a “floating world” of escapism, as “all-work” salary men seek a place to play.

Though fascinated by Japanese language and culture, American Lea Jacobson, had some…

A New York Times Review of the Indie film “Cocaine Angel”. Check out the trailer here.

Just Another Desperate Day in the Life of a Drug Casualty
By Jeannette Catsoulis
Published: February 21, 2007
Watching wasted people stumble from one fix to the next is rarely riveting cinema, and “Cocaine Angel” does little to disprove that rule. Yet Michael Tully’s shambling observation of a day (and a bit more) in the life of Scott (Damian Lahey, who also wrote the wisp of a story) refuses to wallow in addiction angst. Harnessing the twin virtues of drollness and economy, Mr. Tully keeps scenes brief and…

THE LOST YEARS: Surviving a Mother and Daughter’s Worst Nightmare

By Kristine Wandzilak and Constance Curry

Reviewed by Ginger B.

I am not a teen-age girl whose life has become completely devastated by addiction, nor am I a mother whose teen-age child became addicted to drugs and almost died. I am, however, a grown-up woman who became addicted to drugs and alcohol in my twenties and whose life was slowly demolished during the course of my use over the next twenty years, and this book spoke loud and clear to me.
“The Lost Years” is written in a kind of “mother-daughter” dialogue format. Kristina…

“Dry”
Written by Augusten Burroughs
Reviewed by Ginger B.

You don’t have to be an addict to relish the journey of Augusten Burroughs in his book “Dry.” With the wit of an extra-dry martini (excuse the reference) Burroughs chronicles his life after he leaves his dysfunctional (an understatement) family described in “Running With Scissors” through the next ten years of his life.

At the age of 19, Burroughs becomes an ad copywriter in New York City, earning an ungodly amount of money, and pouring most of it down his throat. Augusten’s skills as an advertising writer are manifested in this slick, yet unfeigned account…

“Broken”
By William Cope Moyers
Reviewed by Ginger B.

When I first saw William Cope Moyers he was sitting in the back seat of a car outside a theater where he was going to be speaking later that evening. He was wearing a starched blue oxford cloth long sleeve shirt and the appropriate red power tie and was speaking on his cell phone. “Great”, I thought, “Here’s a rich kid grown up, having every break money could buy, and he’s going to speak to a bunch of addicts tonight about his journey from addiction to recovery. How could his story possibly relate to…