Mother’s Day when someone in the family is addicted.  Mother’s Day when your mother is addicted.  Mother’s Day when your father is addicted.  Mother’s Day when one of the kids is addicted.

The fun never stops.

I’m sorry.  That wasn’t nice.

But people give me those looks when I say, “Well, surely nobody’s going to get wasted on Mother’s Day.”  There’s a Jewish expression, kal v’chomer (rhymes with doll-v’-roh-mare) that can mean, among other things, all the more so.

Looking at the problem with a cognitive approach (drinking/using is behavioral, not in your head), people actually think about the meaning of a person’s drinking on…

Traditionally my birthday and mother’s day have always fallen on the same weekend or at the least one weekend apart. When I was little some of my sweetest mother/daughter moments were of these times. My only truly fond memories of my mom and I are when I was very young, around age 5 or 6 when we would get all dressed up and go to this mother/daughter dinner thing with our church. I would drink Shirley Temple’s and in those moments felt connected to my mother. But the feeling didn’t last and our attendance at the dinner’s ended.

…

I’m so glad you guys found me, you Second Road people.

Because you know I love to talk, but am basically too shy to do that, just talk to people.  So instead I listen for a living, and occasionally, when I have something worth saying, let it roll, the mini-psychoeducational lecture, or the observation about how a person is operating, and maybe suggest, hypnotically of course, a better way.

But blogging, as you who are here well know, allows all of us to talk ad nauseum, and no one is interrupting, and no one necessarily even knows who we are, so we can…

Hey y’all and a BIG welcome to our new members! Monty’man just joined the Second Road family and wrote such a wonderful introduction post on his member page that we thought we would share it for AA Month!

My name is Monty, Recovered Alcoholic and Addict. Also ExecutiveProducer of Take12 Recovery Radio and KHLT Recovery Broadcasting. I was born in Greenville California in 1955 and adopted by Robert and Marylyn Meyer at the age of 2. Dad was the City Manager of Petaluma Calif and Mom was a housewife and wonderful Mother. I grew up in Petaluma and learned how to…

I think that there is a stereotype about this type of family, the alcoholic family, one that is unfortunately well-deserved, if misinformed.   It is by definition a stereotype, a generalization, that alcoholic families tend to be violent.  Just as any generalization about any type of family has to be wrong, this one is too.

Each family is unique, crazy in its own way.

And yet, someone like me sees some people for about seventy seconds before thinking, alcoholic family. Maybe you do this, too.

People in 12-Step programs aptly use words like rage-aholic to describe a population of people who don’t drink,…

Happy Holidays to those celebrating today. This really short video inspired me today; after a sober, clear headed, fun weekend with the family. Those moments seemed out of the realm of possibility just five years ago, so there is a lot to be thankful for today. William Moyers is a contributing writer here at TSR and this video starts with him saying, “It’s easy to quit drinking, I did that 1,000 times.” Maintaining sobriety and transforming as a person is the hard part; it requires deliberation and determination. Thanks for being here with us and we hope this little video…

…and sometimes i set out to do what i do

planned as part of the day

when suddenly and without warning

everything’s wrong in my way

i don’t want to play, i don’t want to make

i don’t want to talk, why does everyone just take???

i feel the anger swelling up inside

there’s no way of stopping, of stopping this tide

inexplicable anger and dissatisfaction

yet i know that it’s just an age-old reaction

so i stop what i’m doing, take a breather

do something completely random

and when i’ve untangled that crazy web

then my feelings i’m able to fathom

…

My first sip of alcohol was Budweiser, one can that turned into a few, which proceeded the room turning into a whirling, dizzy vortex. I was 13 and visiting my father, the alcoholic, for the summer. You know, the guy who should be able to tell I was wasted even though I somehow defied gravity and walked nonchalantly into the house. His second wife was pretty comfortable in her role enabling, and one night she lent me the car keys to go pick up some alcohol.

Which we were able to buy. Let’s go over this again. By age 13, not…

April is Alcohol Awareness Month and TSR has been contributing by sharing daily stories, submitted by a range of people, all struggling with alcohol, some in their first two weeks of sobriety, some in their 8th year.

April 9th (tomorrow) is National Alcohol Screening Day. Organizations and colleges across the nation will participate; making the screening available and providing information.

To locate a nearby NASD site, telephone 1-800-405-9200 or visit NationalAlcoholScreeningDay.org. There is also an online test, always available, at http://www.alcoholscreening.org/ This test was developed by Join Together, and just yesterday a milestone was reached, one million people have now taken that test!…

Benoit Denizet-Lewis will join the TSR community, this Sunday night, April 5th, at 8pm EST. Benoit is the author of America Anonymous: Eight Addicts in Search of a Life. TSR recently posted a book review about America Anonymous, the recovery book gathering so much widespread critical acclaim.

We are happy to present this wonderful opportunity to chat with an author so earnestly bringing awareness to addiction and proposing such pertinent health questions to both the recovery community and society at large.

America Anonymous is the story of eight men and women from around the country—including a grandmother, a college student, a bodybuilder, a housewife,…

Dear Fellow Travelers on the Curvy Road to Destiny

My name is Sandi Bachom and my last drink was March 27, 1987. I am a Hazelden author and have written three books, “Denial Is Not A River In Egypt”, “The Wrath of Grapes” and “Hell in the Hallway, my 4th book, is not a book at all, it’s a social network, laughinginhell.com.

I have been meaning to blog for so long but lucky for me, someone asked if they could tape my talk at the Promises meeting, my home group in New York City on Friday…..so here you go…
Promises: Friday April 3

“We…

I did an open talk recently where I was asked to share what it was like, what happened, and what it’s like now.  Thanks to Second Road, I have another opportunity to do just that.
I guess I should start with an introduction.  My name is Jessie, I’m an alcoholic, grateful to God and the Recovery fellowship for the opportunity to live and be here telling my story today.  Because of the healing and fellowship I have found through this program I haven’t needed to drink or take any chemical enhancement prescription or illegal since February 12, 2008.  And I wake…

this post is inspired by steveroni and his post on friday, which you can read here http://steveroni.blogspot.com/2009/03/fridayride-bus.html. here’s my take…

who am i

were it not for my past

this certainly wouldn’t be me

i’d be a person

with different ideas

of encounters that i didn’t see

by nature i’m

quite inquisitive

i was bound to bump my head

but isn’t part

of learning

rebounding in your step

now i acknowledge

my darker side

the messes i had made

i found my way

through rules unclear

by headstrong illusions betrayed

and on this road

i fought the fight

my very own personal war

eventually listened

accepted direction

in delusions i’m stuck no more

as day follows night

so good follows bad

for everything leads somewhere

building your strengths

your…

Those of you who read me regularly know that I’m from an observant Jewish background, which means that I follow plenty of rules. And I scoff plenty of rules. I’m as good a hypocrite as anyone else, as are all my friends and most people who breathe.

But we try to be better.

And probably like most religions that have teeth to them, there’s plenty of spirituality to back up mine, to make the rigor make sense.

Because a Jew’s life is one for the books, meaning theoretically, ideally, every movement could be a page from a Jewish law book, should be a…

don’t feel. don’t speak. don’t trust.

my mantra as a child

what would happen if i did

would it leave me alone and exiled?

now i think not, it’s taken some time

but it’s still not easy to practice

so many years of building the walls

to be broken down, my childhood fortress

brick by brick the walls came down

as feelings found their wings

causing pain from unearthed boxes

but they came with golden linings

words were next to escape the fort

as my feelings became more coherent

unpleasantness fading with every time

it didn’t end in judgment

and trust? well, trust, that monstrous hurdle

that still has its claws in me

refuses to let me hand…

April is Alcohol Awareness month. The Second Road will showcase a recovery story everyday during the month of April. They want to applaud those living in recovery while helping to bring awareness to addiction and to also make people aware of the strong community of support that exists.

TSR wants to salute the people who are battling alcoholism; as a child, a parent, a spouse, sibling, or as an addict. Be it 22 years or 2 days, they want to hear from the people making the decision to start a new path—to take the second road. TSR hopes this showcase will…

Today I said goodbye to a friend. Today I stood up for myself in the face of my co-dependency. Today I choose to say no. Today I put myself and my needs first. Today I fully understand the beauty of recovery.

read more

The other day someone said to me, “I think this world, this country (meaning America) should stop drinking.  Americans could beat the economic blues, could win this war on terrorism, if they stopped wasting their brain cells with booze.

No joke.  It’s true.  What’s interesting to me is why people even want to drink, to lose themselves to alcohol the way they do.  Some of us don’t, have no physical craving, no mental “need” or desire to get stupid.  For alcohol, make no mistake, is one of those drugs that slows the central nervous system, retards our critical thinking, makes us…

how good would feel calm, if you don’t feel the anger

release it you can with heartfelt candor

what good would be love, if you can’t conquer hate

as this can ensnares you in torturous state

how rewarding is confidence, if you don’t master fear

the feeling of growth that we so revere

have you felt the rush of discovery

that sharpens the edges of things once blurry

and the wonder that sweeps through your soul with surprise

when anticipation from you doesn’t rise

when amusement replaces a deep weariness

when the everyday things leave you happy, breathless

and the innocence gained from inner repent

the lightness returned when released, the torment

the closeness achieved…

The Second Road is seeking submissions from people very new to sobriety.  Our mission states that:  We are an online community BY and FOR people in recovery from addictions of all kinds. We welcome people in ALL stages of recovery using ANY method that works for them.

We want to welcome people who are new on the road to recovery, and help them connect with the community of other wonderful people facing the same obstacles. There are many people here who understand the fear and pain involved in overcoming addiction. Sharing your story here helps you reach out to people who…

in darkness filled with pain and despair

a little voice called and begged for repair

refused to be silenced by chemical use

didn’t accept you feeble excuse

made itself felt in guilt and shame

pointing fingers full of blame

reflected in eyes of tortured soul

your peace of mind it ransacked and stole

your memories lost to chaotic blur

in eyes of others unspoken censure

to in the end be heard and heeded

regaining control so desperately needed

it prompted the climb up slippery slope

from murky depths with a glimmer of hope

through wily temptations and sly mind control

desirous, appealing, it played it’s last role

to tempt you back into world without feeling

to emotions…

Most people know that people who abuse or depend upon drugs and alcohol tend to be remiss about  important tasks in life, tasks like: parenting, helping others, being accountable, responsible, keeping promises, participating in a community, respecting time and property, giving one’s best on the job.  Things get dropped when under the influence. Or the next day.

An addict forgets to call.

An addict forgets to be there.

It’s in the nature of the brain, befuddlement of substances.  Alcohol and drugs change a mind that might have half a chance of working fairly well, into a mind that not only forgets, but fools the “self” within the…

I am gearing up to do a radio show as part of my continued book promotion for Blackout Girl. I love radio because you do it from the comfort of your home and there is none of the issues that come with going live on television. However, this particular show it from 9:00PM – 11:00PM which poses other issues for me. It’s way past my bedtime. In recovery I must say I have become such a morning person which is the total opposite of who I use to be. Back in my using days I was a total night owl.…

you find your way into my head
with things you did, the things you said
bitter sweet moments etched in time
feeding desires like psychic mime

tidbits of pleasures from the past
telling me that forever they last
pleasure and laughter is what i’ll find
if to you i promise to bind

and as a butterfly to the bloom
i find myself in glorious ballroom
of opulent splendour, rich with gold
with you by my side, confident, bold

this is the glorious colourful picture
displayed by you, the inventive trickster
gleefully hiding away the disgrace
before you come and the colours erase

completely demolish and destroy
i’m on to you, your subtle ploy
the scales are now in…

I give patients the option of calling me and rambling to my voicemail, no promises that I’ll listen, but usually I do.  I tell them to call me back, after they have talked themselves silly, when they’ve figured out exactly what it is that I need to know.   They’re to mark the one that summarizes it all by saying, “Okay, this is all I what I wanted to say.” Then say it in a couple of sentences.

Strangely enough, the people who use this option tend to be alcoholics in recovery.  They’re in 12 Step programs and know how to use the…

NEW RAFFLE runs 2/15-3/01/09

For this raffle, author Jennifer Storm has donated a signed copy of her book, Blackout Girl:
Growing Up and Drying Out in America!

“A common story. A rare twist. When the American Dream becomes her secret nightmare, quietly Jennifer Storm begins the dark descent into addiction. Then she discovers that the same events that destroy her, also create her. Written in a humble, raw voice, Jennifer Storm helps us remember where we came from–and why. ‘Blackout Girl’ brings us one step closer to forgiving ourselves for something we didn’t do.”

–Melody Beattie, author of “Codependent No More,” “The Grief Club,” and…

This morning I read a passage in my daily reflection that spoke of the various masks we wear in our lives. In my addiction, I was an ever changing person always accommodating the outside world and never truly revealing who I was inside. I would dress up and paint on whatever face I thought was expected of me on any given day. I would hide under layers of make-up and pretend to be different people, all the while never truly knowing myself at all. I never took the time to get to know the girl under the façade. Instead, I…

Please note, the first three people to send their survey feedback in to us will receive a complimentary TSR unisex Tshirt. Everyone else receives a deep bow and a feeling of pride for helping us improve the community website!

Thank you for taking just 10 minutes to fill out this survey.  Please take the time to help us improve your experience. Simply cut and paste this survey, fill it out and then send it to us at: contactus@thesecondroad.org

SURVEY

1. What do you like the most at the The Second Road?

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The third step of Alcoholics Anonymous is as follows: Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him. This can be a really tricky one for many new comers into the program of recovery as it requires us to do two things that are very difficult. Give up control over our lives and hand our will over and to believe in this whole God thing enough to trust this new found higher power with our will. I have a tendency to hang onto things like playful puppy would a…

Step 4: “Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.”

Sometimes I feel so guilty pontificating about the steps, never having worked an A.A. program. But I feel, as I’ve said before, that so much of the program is steeped in Judeo-Christian thinking, that in a sense I’ve been working one for most of my life.

Skip a little adolescent acting out. Everyone is entitled to an adolescence.

So, Step Four is about looking yourself in the mirror, finding yourself in your past, owning the things you’ve done, and committing to change. Changing you. Did I get that right? It’s like…