Yesterday it snowed all day.  It was as if there was a giant flour sifter in the heavens that just endlessly dusted layer upon layer of light, pure, dainty snow powder all over the land.  I stayed in the house, the grey sky telling me to be still, enjoy the quiet and just listen.  I did as I was told.  I spent most of the day in my bed, reading and just being quiet - letting the stillness speak.  This is what it said:

Our time in this place is temporary.  We do not know when we will leave, nor do…

I’ve been on a little spiritual sabbatical of late.  Actually, my spirituality is  not so much on sabbatical as are the methods that I use to express it.  I was born and raised Roman Catholic - I think I already told you that I went to Catholic grade school, high school, college and grad school.  I left “The Church” in my early twenties, only to return in my early thirties when my mother was diagnosed with ovarian cancer.  I made the standard bargain with God - “Save my mom and I’ll come back.”  I came back.  My mom died.  But…

We know that “We are everywhere.” New technology from Ann-e helps addicts utilize, support and connect with the recovery network.

From About.com:

You are in recovery, but you have a sudden urge to pick up. You are away from your home base and your 12-step contacts, but you need to talk to someone, anyone who understands. You feel isolated and you need to connect with someone else in recovery.

Now, there’s a app for that.

Annie’s idea for a peer-to-peer phone application was inspired from a shopping encounter where she recognized an addict’s need for help and the loneliness many addicts feel when…

I recently went to an art show where the inmates at our local jail were able to exhibit some of their artwork.  When I was incarcerated at this same institution, there were no such programs available.  Most of the prisoners at this jail are there for crimes committed in active addiction. Just take a look and see what hidden talents these “addicts” have and what they are able to accomplish when given a chance.

Till Next Time -

Your Humble Road Warrior

when our needs seem too vast to seize and control

we look for an easy wave

more painless to sail than building a craft

to satiate that what we crave

and we fall into rivers that turn to rapids

once starting off as a stream

loosing ourselves in compulsive deeds

that full of dangers teem

‘til we’re unable now to close our eyes

as we feel the dodgy hangman

moving bit closer with each passing day

and wonder how all this began

look back to the first time you evaded the storm

when you felt you dented your soul

when the natural order of things were displaced

and you tried to fill up the hole

by…

Last night, on my way to yoga, I was really looking forward to a workout. The week before, we had done some pretty challenging asanas—mostly heart-opening backbends—and, by the time class wound down, I was drenched in sweat and had this satisfying sense that I had broken through something and gone beyond previous limitations–physically, mentally and spiritually. Still feeling exhilarated from the previous week’s class, I was hoping last night to be challenged further and break through just a little more.

But when I got to class, my teacher was fighting a cold and I could sense her lack of energy.…

I have been AWOl from the blogging and meeting scene lately.  Why doesn’t matter.

That little thought or quote popped into my head last fall as I thought about the attitude of many of the non program friends I had made through getting involved with music and people that don’t go to church. God just isn’t something they think about, care about or believe in at all.
Even so, God is always there no matter what we think, our personal beliefs or our religious affiliation. He’s still there despite what the atheists think or what we feel about him. Ladies, please don’t…

One of our goals at TSR is to be  a venue where artists in recovery can share their talent with others.  One of the effects of active addiction is a thwarting of our artistic side and recovery offers an open door where we can share our talents freely.  This short story was read to me by a friend in recovery and I asked him if I could put it on the site.  He was listening to NPR one day and they invited writers to submit a 3 minute piece, beginning with the sentence, “The nurse left at five o’clock.”   Here…

For so long, I heard the phrase: When the pain of staying outweighs the pain of leaving, you will go (and not a god damn second sooner). Meaning, when the pain of staying in my dysfunctional relationship became greater than the pain (fear) of leaving it, only then would I leave.

I always tried to imagine this, what this day would look like. I imagined a relapse so bad, so deep in it’s own ooze, that I would have no choice - the pain would be too great. But, it never was. The pain of his using was never to great…

In the process of my personal life drama it was suggested to me that I might be incapable of feeling strong emotion and attachment.  I have been accused of being cold and detached and various other character evaluations.  Considering that I was referred to as overly emotional and needy for the better part of my young adult life, I found these observations to be puzzling. 

As a nearing forty, sober nearly 9 years, fairly even-tempered person, I can say without hesitation that I have grown exponentially in recovery.  Sobriety has taught me how to reign in my neediness and hold my…

This is my first post as Rah Covery Miles. However, you know me. I am the blogger formerly known as A.Miles. I know it is hard to address someone as “A.Miles,” in the blog comments. So most of you used my real name. You can now call me Rah, ok?! My anonymity is very important to me. While most of you know me because I do behind the scenes work at TSR, that should not imply I am comfortable being addressed by my public name. The name that future employers will use and that will show up on a thorough…

We arrive aside the bonfire and a few people greet Frank like they are acquainted with him. They look at me and I’m sure they’re wondering what on earth I’m doing there. I set down the blankets nearby and tell Frank to let them know that anyone is welcomed to them.

The bonfire is giving off an enormous amount of heat, and my face tingles as the hot air hits it. But what I notice most about the air is the smell; a peculiar scent that I’m not familiar with. It’s a combination of wood and rubber and paper. It burns…

Richard G. Hartnett, MA, MS, LCADC, former chaplain at Hazelden New York, author of Sobriety and Inspiration: Entrusting Ourselves to the Source of Our Healing and Creativity

Selfishness — self-centeredness!  That we think is the root of our troubles.  — Alcoholics Anonymous, pg. 62.

     Recently Chris Schroeder interviewed me about the role of spirituality in the recovery process for his website.  One of the major themes of the interview was the importance of replacing self-centeredness with reliance on a higher power.  If you would like to watch the interview, you can go to www.afflictedandaffected.com.

     Some people feel that the 12-step recovery…

I drive to a nearby convenience store, and when we pull into the stall he looks confused. Without saying a word, I get out of the car and go into the store. I emerge a few minutes later with a six-pack in tow. I get back into the car and hand him one of the beers. I lean over and put the rest in the back seat, and he looks up at me. “I know, Frank. It’s OK; you’re OK.” He pulls back the tab on the can, and all at once it produces a “crack” sound that is all…

It’s 4:30 pm on a Wednesday afternoon. It’s the fifth of August and summer has once again come to the island of Oahu with a vengeance. It brings with it unrelenting heat and humidity. I’m sitting in bumper-to-bumper traffic and I know from past experience I’m going to have to crawl home inch by inch, mile by mile. A song comes on the radio and it is one of my favorites. I reach for the volume dial and crank it up. The song begins to blast through the speakers, and saturates the inside of my car with sound. I turn…

Every day I receive an e-mail from a wonderful site, gratefulness.org. This month the daily reflections are from one of my favorite Buddhist Teachers and Monks, Tich Nhat Hanh.  I share this with you - read it slowly and keep it in your heart.

Till Next Time -

Your Humble Road Warrior

If you do not know how to be patient, how to care, how to use loving speech, you cannot help other people to change. But if we have the energy of compassion and loving kindness in us, the people around us will be influenced by our way of being and living.…

Definition of Salon:

1. A large room, such as a drawing room, used for receiving and entertaining guests.
2. A periodic gathering of people of social or intellectual distinction.

On Sundays, we gather at 8pm EST, for our Sober Salon Chats. Each week brings a new host, topic and lively discussion.  Our host this week is Tom, aka RUKiddingme? has 16 years of sobriety. He has been blogging here for a couple of months; always packaging insightful posts with humor.

Check out his archives, here!

You will need to create a TSR account to log in to the chat room–but what are you waiting on?!! Go,…

I just want to put in a plug for a new treatment center that just opened this week on South Padre Island, Texas.  It’s called Origins and a friend of mine from New Jersey, Pete Marinelli has put his heart and soul into this project to help the sick and suffering addict still out there.  Pete has 20 years of soberiety and I met him one evening when I happened to be in The Garden State and hit an AA meeting.  He introduced himself, sat next to me and made me feel at home.  He’s got a great Jersey accent and ever…

My last post here at The Second Road put me out on a ledge that, in reality, didn’t last all that long. I appreciate all the kind comments that have come my way as a result of a post that was written in what could only be described as one of my darkest hours. The last three months have seen a progression of emotions coursing through my being that at times have been impossible to deal with.

In a few weeks I will be separating from my husband after 8 years of marriage. While the misery with our situation is shared…

Wikipedia defines duct tape as a strong,  multi-purpose pressure-sensitive adhesive tape. In America, we define duct tape as the multi-purpose, quick fix-it for all circumstances that need an immediate, temporary fix. This can range from taping the spine of a book together or holding a headlight in place until a repair can be done. Duct tape is the all-American fixer-upper.

My father used duct tape in an attempt to fix me. When I used to drink and black out—which was more often than I care to recall—I wasn’t always the best driver. I drank, and I drove, and I bounced off things…

I have a friend, a good man whom I admire and who has much to recommend him. He wrote to me about an experience he had recently. Here is some of what he had to say.

I returned yesterday evening from a fantastic 48 hour journey into the unknown.

I have learned to be more open and trusting with myself and other men.

I have learned excellent ways to communicate feelings and resolve conflict.

I have learned essential principals to lead a life of integrity.

For this I filled out papers, gave a weekend of my time, and $600. It takes courage and trust and…

I have been struggling for a while in my personal relationship. This appears to be an area in my life and my recovery where I still have such challenges. I guess we can’t all be good at everything, right? I’m good at work, I am a trusted friend, good at recovery, I am a loving and caring daughter—but I somehow still make a lousy partner. Or is it more that I am still choosing the wrong partner?  Not that I am some innocent angel in relationships, but I have done my share of therapy and work in this area. My…

We talk about reality a lot. According to Princeton’s Wordnet, reality is

–all of your experiences that determine how things appear to you; “his world was shattered”; “we live in different worlds”; “for them demons were as much a part of reality as trees were”
–the state of being actual or real; “the reality of his situation slowly dawned on him”
–the state of the world as it really is rather than as you might want it to be; “businessmen have to face harsh realities”
–the quality possessed by something that is real.

All of these definitions lack one thing: precision. They all imply varied…

Richard G. Hartnett, MA, MS, LCADC, former chaplain at Hazelden New York, author of Sobriety and Inspiration: Entrusting Ourselves to the Source of Our Healing and Creativity

     We are not cured of  alcoholism.  What we really have is a daily reprieve contingent on the maintenance of our spiritual condition.   — Alcoholics Anonymous, pg. 85.

     When we begin our recovery from addiction or codependency by participating in a 12 step program, we want to overcome our problems and find a peaceful and sober way to live.  We have had more than enough anguish and trouble.  So how can we improve our…

Richard G. Hartnett, MA, MS, LCADC, author of Sobriety and Inspiration: Entrusting Ourselves to the Source of Our Healing and Creativity

     “When we are in a relationship, it is not just two people who sit down for a nice, friendly, sensible chat.  We each have within us numerous selves or subpersonalities, each one vying for attention, trying to get its needs met.  The ’sensible little chat’ is a bit more like two large family groups trying to talk with one another.’”    — Hal Stone and Sidra Winkelman, Embracing Each Other.

     When we get sober, whether it be from addiction or…

Last night, a couple members of my step group and I were philosophizing about the steps. We were talking about how so much of the internal change we experience after each step is out of our control, and that, therefore, it’s futile to stress over whether we’re doing the steps “right.” Still, even though we knew this, we all agreed that it’s often difficult to keep our perfectionist tendencies in check. Then someone who’s working the steps for the first time shared a tool she’d been using to be gentle with herself: “I just view this journey through the steps…

When I was a little girl, my four older brothers used to torment me for sport. Holding me down and dangling spit loogies over my face was a good one. Wrapping me up in blankets like a burrito and yanking me about the house was another one. The one I hated the most was 52 Card Pickup. They would take a neatly stacked deck of cards and toss them about in the air over my head and then have me pick them up once they were scattered across the floor. It never occurred to me to say no. They were…

The autopsy has been kept private, the cause of death is unknown, but that hasn’t stopped theories about Michael Jackson’s demise from thriving like immorality at an OK! magazine pitch meeting. One hypothesis in particular is quickly gaining followers, especially in the eating disorder community — that the King of Pop was killed by anorexia….
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Intervention, on A&E, is a popular show examining various addictions and the effects on the addict and their families. Click on the image above to see the lineup for this season, as well as past episodes. Full video can also be found on their website.

Tonight’s episode:

After being molested as a child, Nicole developed an unusual eating disorder–she was unable to swallow. By age 16, she weighed just 68 pounds, and doctors inserted a feeding tube into her stomach. The tube was supposed to be temporary, but 16 years later, Nicole still relies on the tube and can’t swallow any food or liquids.…