by Noah Levine

I read a lot of books.  I barely put one down before I pick up another.  I often don’t remember authors, titles and other such trivialities of the written word, but for the last two days I have been taken to another place - the land of Noah Levine in his book “Dharma Punx.”  When I got the book I wasn’t crazy about the title or the synopsis - a punk rocker who find the middle way?  Yeah, right - that’s right up my alley.  I, a middle class, middle age woman can readily identify with the punk…

I just realized that it’s been two weeks since I’ve written anything on my own damn site.  I’ve been so busy lately with doing the other necessary things one has to do to keep a website up that I’ve neglected to even stop for a second and do a little reflecting in printed form.  Right now it is the 4th of July, I’m sitting on my deck, the dogs lazily scattered around me.  The weather is beautiful - 77 degrees - the trees surround me as I sit here in quiet, finally taking time to be still.  I’ve had to…

I just got back from a trip where I spent 4 days with some of the craziest people I have ever met.  They were hysterical, loud, outspoken, friendly, easy to get along with and had the combined energy of a major nuclear force.  They were also therapists, radio hosts, interviewers, marketing people, movers and shakers, business people and…..were all in recovery.  And we’re not talking 3 martini lunches here - we’re talkin’ crack heads, heroine addicts and any other illegal or illicit substance available.  All had been there, come through and were now paying it forward.

Each morning we spent working…

Here’s a great little clip by William White to get you thinking.  Watch it and let me know what you think.

Till Next Time -

You Humble Road Warrior

It’s a Wednesday afternoon and for the past 13 days I have been taking care of one of Melissa’s nieces while she has been attending to her dad’s illness and death.  It’s been a long time since I’ve lived with an ll year old and even then, it was a boy.  This girl is witty, gregarious, adorable,  in many ways much older than her biological age suggests, can be a pain in the butt and has been stuck to my side.  She’s been with me because she goes to a private school that got out on May 21 (sounds a…

Today, June 1, 2009 - The 30th anniversary of my little sister’s death.

May 30, 2009 - William Shore, father of Melissa, Laura and Jeff, died from cancer

May 28, 2009 - Bill W., our blogger, lost his granddaughter in an alcohol related accident.

May 21, 2009 - 21st anniversary of the death of my mother, Virginia, to cancer.

In the 10 days I have been faced with or reminded of death - it is inevitable, I know.  The day we are born, we begin to die - that’s just the way it is.  My sister was too young and yet, for her, I…

Last Saturday, May 30, 2009, Melissa Shore, our Executive Director, lost her father to cancer.  Please keep her and her family in your prayers.

Thanks,

Your Humble Road Warrior

I am sick and tired of everything and everyone in my life today (except, of course, my doggies).  I want to throw a tantrum, to break dishes, to spray paint a vulgarity on someone’s house.  I want to pinch a baby, to give a total stranger the finger as I drive by.  I want it to stop being dark and rainy.  I want to be a size 8 (I’ve never been a size 8, except for 3 weeks in 1984) and I want everyone in my life to feel what I feel like right at this moment.  I am sick…

Melissa and I had the honor to be interviewed on the webcast, The Afflicted and Affected, with host Chris Schroeder.  Not only can you see what we really look like, you can see how The Second Road got started, and what we’re up to now.

Till Next Time -

Your Humble Road Warrior

It’s almost 6:00 in the morning. I’m sitting on my back deck, coffee to my right, cigarettes to my left, laptop on my lap. One of my doggies is lying to my right, chewing on a rawhide bone and the neighborhood is taking on that beigy-gray color right before one sees the forehead of the son peek over the Eastern horizon. I’ve been up for an hour – ever since I heard the dogs bark, saw the car driving in a staccato semi-circle around my cul-de-sac and saw the man/boy get out of the car in front of my yard…

Be careful what you ask for - ever heard that?  Well, I’ve been very bold lately - asking my HP to “get on the ball” and get things moving in my life, and in my job.  I bluntly told her “Okay, I’ve waited long enough….been patient beyond the realms even Job could envision, and have held a (somewhat) steady course.  I WANT A SIGN AND I WANT IT NOW!”

Every since The Second Road launched 18 months ago, we have worked our collective  butts off to keep the site updated, new and fresh, well written; a place that is  a resource…

Just got back from one of my favorite meetings.  Whenever I am able to get to this meeting, I always leave with some juicy fruit of recovery that I can spiritually chew on for a good long time.

Today the topic was “perseverance” and many people had some really insightful perspectives to share.  As I sat and listened, I first thought about perseverance in the sense of “working my program” one day at a time, even when I didn’t want to.  Some days are easy, some are not, but as long as I keep doing what I know will work, there’s…

Rick Ohrstrom, or “Bulldog” as he is otherwise known, is the CEO of C4Recovery Solutions, a website dedicated to improving the effectiveness of substance use disorder prevention and recovery services.  Right now he is in The Middle East, reaching out to those who would otherwise not hear this important message of recovery.  We at TSR just received this update on his adventures in Gaza.  For the next 5 days I will be posting it in parts.

Follow this amazing man’s journey as he tries to spread the word of recovery.  You can also find him at SoberBulldog.com

GAZA GAZETTE
At first glance the…

I started my journey along “the middle path” when I was in jail, doing time for the results of my addiction.   One day the book cart came by and I stuck my hand through the bars and grabbed a little white book, the binding of which was tattered and torn.  The title was “Gratefulness, the Heart of Prayer” by Brother David Steindl-Rast, a Benedictine monk with the ability to blend the spiritualities of the East and West into a beautiful quilt of the practice of gratitude.  When I finished that book, my dear friend, Eleanor started to send me…

So, I get up this morning, it’s a new day and all is right with the world … I’ve got places to go, people to see and things to do.  I’m in a pretty good mood, considering I engulfed and entire Ben and Jerry’s “Chubby Hubby” at midnight last night.   But, ahhhh…..I can smell the coffee waiting downstairs for me.  I  have a religious ritual every night before I go to bed - the coffee has to be made, ready to turn on at 6:30 a.m. and be waiting for me, it’s loving handle placed at the perfect 45 degree…

Well, here we are - the last day of Alcohol Awareness Month - and I must first express my gratitude to Alix M. who has diligently (and I mean work your butt off diligent) contacted writers and made sure that every single day during this very important month, a new story was posted about someone’s journey on the ferris wheel  of addiction and recovery.

I have been honored to write the last entry:

What Recovery Means To Me:

Being able to look people in the eye

Knowing that I can be trusted driving other peoples’ children in my car

Asking for help when I need…

In one of the Alanon pamphlets on detachment, there are a series of bullets representing the things we learn in Alanon.  Two of them are the following:

In Alanon We Learn:

Not to create a crisis, and

Not to prevent a crisis if it is in the natural course of events.

I am in a quandary right now.  How does one know if they are “creating a crisis” or allowing a crisis to occur “in the natural course of events?”  This has been gnawing at me for the last several days, since I have found myself in situations where I really don’t know if …

We are very happy to introduce Dr. Michael Stein, our newest blogger at TSR.  He is an Internal Medicine physician, who obviously has a gift for writing and a special interest in recovery.   We’re going to let him get started by writing from his heart and see how you, our TSR members, want to proceed.  Maybe he can write a “Question and Answer” column, or you can ask him to write on specific subjects - it’s your site, so let’s see what happens.  I just reviewed his latest book, “The Addict”,  - the story of a year in the life of…

I can remember when I would go to the Dentist just to try and get pain pills.  Now, if you have a mouth like mine, that’s a pretty easy task.  I have spent literally tens of thousands of dollars on my mouth during the course of my lifetime.  I was born with teeth that are prone to any and every kind of problem possible.  I can’t even remember the number of fillings I have AND the numbers of fillings I have had to have replaced. My mouth is so bad that I even had fillings in my baby teeth, for…

Dear  Friends,

Our Executive Director and founder of  The Second Road just received news last night that her father has metastatic cancer.  Melissa lost her sister last winter to breast cancer and, has since that time, legally adopted her sister’s 5 children, thereby making a major change in her life.

As I write this she is driving back home to be with her dad and her mom.

I ask special prayers, thoughts, and lots of light and serenity for Melissa as she faces yet another example of life on life’s terms.

Thank-you,

Till Next Time-

Your Humble Road Warrior

…

In my little corner of the world, this time of the year is called “The Dogwood” season.  We have thousands and thousands of pink, white, tangerine, rose, red, lavender, and every color in between of these voluptuous little trees adorning every available area of our city.  It is a glorious time and every year there is a Dogwood Festival honoring the blooming of said trees.  Thirty years ago a friend of mine started The Dogwood Chorus, a group of people who loved to sing and harmonize, and began a legacy that culminated last night in the 30th anniversary performance of…

Today is my mother’s birthday.  Were she alive, she would be in her 90’s.  She died almost 21 years ago, when I was in my 30’s and my son was but a baby.  I can still remember him playing on the gravestones as the family met and discreetly dug a hole to bury her ashes in the graves of her parents.  I kept on telling my son, Seamus, who was barely 16 months old at the time, to “be quiet” and “stay still”, but he was in his own world, trying to climb the various monuments that had been so…

Interesting editorial in The New York Times yesterday.

It’s been a long time since I’ve written a blog.  As manager of The Second Road, I’ve been a bit busy of late, trying to juggle about 6 different balls on any given day.  We’ve been growing like crazy, which is a really good thing, but we need financial support to continue our work, which is always a tough thing, especially in these difficult and certainly uncertain (hey, I like that - “certainly uncertain”) times.

So I have decided that I am just going to sit here until something comes into my head……………

I’ve got it - I’ve been thinking a lot…

Day 87

I knew they kept the hard liquors in the back of the cupboard, and no one was looking, so I checked. Rum and some kind of liqueur. No thanks. Whiskey would have been tempting, maybe vodka. Never was interested in beer or wine either. By the time I suck down enough to do the job I’m ready to puke. So why the hell did I find myself drinking a beer? Half of one to be exact. Not enough to feel a damn thing except gut wrenching shame, regret, guilt. Waves of nausea came over me as I imagined telling…

About six months ago Bill wrote a post about smoking cessation and said, basically, that if you think you’re in recovery and you’re still smoking cigarettes, you’re not "there" yet.  It pushed my "singleness of purpose" button and I basically came undone.

Well, I’ve had six months to stew on that.  And smoke more.  I tried to do what we 12 steppers claim to do and kept an open mind.  I prayed about it.  I talked to my sponsor.  Ultimately I did a written 1st step exercise about my smoking/nicotine addiction.

And 10 days ago I put the cigarettes down.  I haven’t…

Being in two 12 step programs at the same time gets a bit confusing.  Being an addict in recovery, I am in a 12 step program that supports my continued growth in sobriety.  Having a loved one in active addiction also places me in another 12 step program that helps me take care of me.  Sometimes I get the two confused.

I sometimes forget that in one of the 12 step groups, it specifically states that if you are a member of another 12 step program, do not mention that program and focus only on THIS program.  Last night I blew…

Well, it happened again.  My SO got a big income tax refund and disappeared last week.  Four days later at 4:00am he appeared in my back yard.  I was asleep, but my son heard him knocking and greeted him with a baseball bat and a slew of profanities and insults that could only come from a son who is trying to protect his mother.  My SO refused to leave (he was coming off a 4 day binge - and was “just a little cocky”), said that this was his home and he didn’t have to leave.  I finally talked my…

Last Tuesday I went to my meditation class.  I never miss it because I always come away surrounded by an invisible “Ahhhh” that I didn’t have went I entered. The class is divided into 2 parts; the first is a 40 minute minimally guided meditation, followed by a short break and then a dharma talk.  “Dharma” means teaching and these lectures are usually very generic, often centered around such topics as “compassion, loving-kindness, right speech” - you get the picture.

Last Tuesday our teacher spoke about the the changes that have taken place recently with the kind of economic unraveling that…

Everywhere I look I see signs of spring, the re-birthing of a new season, and the glimpse that the dormancy of winter is slowly coming to an end.  There were crocuses in my front yard last week and the other day I saw my daffodils stretching their skinny necks so that their radiant yellow blossoms could begin to open.  It makes a dramatic difference in my outlook, seeing signs of the colors of spring.  I grew up in Chicago where winters were endless globs of gray, snow, more gray, frigid, numbing sub-zero weather reports, then some more snow and gray. …