Whenever I ask my HP to help me understand something, in this case humility, I am usually overwhelmed with opportunities to practice that for which I have just asked.  I wish the request would just drop down from above and wrap me in a beautiful (but simple….because I am humble) blanket of a soft, downy demeanor that would be admired by all as “being humble.”  But alas, my HP does not work that way.  Whenever I request a trait that I would like to have, I am always rewarded with many, many situations in which I have the opportunity to…

I went to a meeting last night where the cold, wet rain pouring outside of the building had seeped through the brick and dry wall and permeated the entire space of the room.  It was a Big Book study and the format is the continued reading of the BB and whenever anyone feels so moved, they share.  I came in a couple minutes late, surprised to see that so many people had come out on this bone-chilling night, but felt the onerous weight of the upcoming holidays hanging over the space like an invisible pall.  There were many moments of…

I’ve been on a little spiritual sabbatical of late.  Actually, my spirituality is  not so much on sabbatical as are the methods that I use to express it.  I was born and raised Roman Catholic - I think I already told you that I went to Catholic grade school, high school, college and grad school.  I left “The Church” in my early twenties, only to return in my early thirties when my mother was diagnosed with ovarian cancer.  I made the standard bargain with God - “Save my mom and I’ll come back.”  I came back.  My mom died.  But…

It’s another morning after - but this time it’s just a food hangover.  I went to a 12 step marathon yesterday and ate my weight on carbohydrates and tryptophan.  Now I’m moving just a little slow.  My whole attitude towards Thanksgiving and the holidays is general has changed over the years and continues to do so.  Of course, when I was a child, Thanksgiving was the day that we had to get dressed up and sit at the kids’ table.  The food was good, but I remember it as mostly an “adult” event.  Christmas, however, was magical.  My father would…

I regularly receive  gratitude lists from my friends in the program.  I, however, rarely write one myself.  Today I am going to make an exception.

I am grateful for being clean and sober (we hear that all the time, but it is the truth)

I am grateful for a kind, loving, tender-hearted son who is the joy of my life.

I am grateful for my family members (the ones who are talking to me), and all my friends for their continued support of letting me be who I am.

I am grateful for this wonderful job that lets me live, work and practice my…

by William C. Moyers

It took 13 years, but I finally appeared on a stage in front of an audience on Broadway.

The Capri Theater on Broadway Avenue in a gritty stretch of North Minneapolis was filled with politicians and civic leaders, ministers and a couple of donors with deep pockets. My real affinity was for everyone else in the crowd — the crack addicts and alcoholics, who share my illness.

“When I ain’t clean, I’m on the streets, and been on the streets more them last four years than I want to be, except when I been locked up in the joint,”…

“Compassion is not a virtue - it is a commitment.”  So writes Brene Brown in her book ,”I Thought It Was Just Me (but it isn’t)”, a book about women and shame issues that I am currently reading and will review in the near future.  As I read this line I had to stop and put the book down.  The words were immediately absorbed into my flesh, my organs, my mind, heart, spirit and soul.  How often have I considered being compassionate as some kind of lofty virtue that I “bestow” on others?  How many times has my compassion just…

I just read a blog written by The Junky’s Wife that ended with a comment about all we have to do is wait,  and pray about whatever it is we’re trying to work through - and that’s it.  Ya know how sometimes you  can read a sentence and it hits you like a ton of bricks?  Well,  that little group of words just knocked me for a loop.

For the past several months I, like everyone else on the planet, have been going through some rather difficult life decision-making processes.  It doesn’t matter what they are.  You have yours and I…

I’m at the tail end of the flu, the funk, a cold, a virus - whatever you want to call it.  It laid me  flat for a few days.  I’m talkin’ in the bed, sweating, freezing, can’t shower or even brush my teeth kinda sick.  I’m talkin’ wanting to burn the sheets kinda sick - even the dogs wouldn’t come near me kinda sick.  I am now literally sick and tired of being sick and tired.  Everyone has it, but when I got it, it was happening to ME!  It’s all about me, remember?  I’m an addict - it HAS…

by William C. Moyers

In my 12-step meeting a few days ago, a woman stood up and announced that she was new to the group and that she had 36 hours of sobriety. She was greeted with a rousing round of cheers and applause. Sober people tend to do that; it’s as much for themselves as it is for the newcomer. “Hooray for her, and thank goodness it’s not me” is the expressed but unspoken sentiment among fellow travelers.

I clapped, too. Then my skin tingled as the hairs stood upright on my neck and arms. I shuddered. Once, I was counting hours,…

Last Sunday I went to Washington D.C. and participated in the March for Equality for lesbians, gays, trans-gender and bi-sexual people.  I went for several reasons.  A friend had bought me a ticket on a bus that was going from his church, so there were a group of people that I could identify with.  I have a gay family member and she and her partner have experienced the stigma of same-sex relationships on many levels.  I also marched because I believe we are all in this together….we are all members of the same family of humanity.  I don’t know why…

For years now I have used the understated elegance of many Buddhist practices to work toward living life in the present moment, and to being an integral part of this earth, while allowing myself not to be attached to it.  There is no success or failure rate in the Buddhist path.  There is only the awareness of the ebb and flow of living, the constancy of change and the acceptance of things as they are.

That is why I am totally smitten by Joni Kay Rose’s book,  “The Joy Beyond Craving - A Buddhist Perspective on Addiction and Recovery.” In this…

I recently went to an art show where the inmates at our local jail were able to exhibit some of their artwork.  When I was incarcerated at this same institution, there were no such programs available.  Most of the prisoners at this jail are there for crimes committed in active addiction. Just take a look and see what hidden talents these “addicts” have and what they are able to accomplish when given a chance.

Till Next Time -

Your Humble Road Warrior

by William C. Moyers

It’s a question I’m asked no matter where I speak, from churches and Rotary Club events to public-school assemblies and private luncheons with business leaders: Should parents share their personal histories of drug and alcohol use with their kids?

A groundbreaking study released this week by Hazelden, where I work, should answer this question once and for all. It is no longer acceptable for parents simply to urge their children to “just say no.”

Among the results of Hazelden’s “Four Generations Overcoming Addiction” survey:

—Half of teens say it would make them less likely to use drugs if their parents told…

I just got back from one of my favorite 12 step meetings.  One of the reasons I love this group is because they’re totally down to earth, talk the talk AND walk the walk and there’s always meat on this bones in the basement of this church.  It’s a mix of street folks, non-working upper middle class women, and others who just have a quick hour and use it to fill their soul holes rather than their stomachs.

Today’s topic was early sobriety.  Several folks were recalling what is was like for them so many years ago…the constancy of the pain,…

I just subscribed to a new daily affirmation site that sends personalized messages to me, every day from “The Universe.”  “Hokey,” you say.  Perhaps.  But I’m pretty open to anything that can make me feel better without the use of chemical in any form these days, so what the hell! I just subscribed yesterday, after my blog “Monday, Monday…Can’t Trust That Day” and here’s what popped up this morning on my e-mail.

Tell you what, Ginger: If you can get happy right now, in spite of any problems, challenges, and circumstances that now seem to taunt you, I’ll take care of…

by William C. Moyers

Many alcoholics and addicts suffer long-term physical consequences as a result of their use, even after they get sober. This includes chronic pain that may require the use of doctor-prescribed narcotics. So how does this affect somebody’s recovery?

Dear Mr. Moyers: I used heroin for 20 years and crack for eight. In a few weeks, my family will be celebrating the 10th anniversary of my being clean. My big question is: Am I really clean? I did a lot of damage and still live with pain that only painkillers mask. I am careful not to take these meds on…

It’s Monday morning and when I look at the week ahead I want to go home, crawl back under the covers and hide.  Well, kinda hide - I’m sure you know what I mean.  That’s why we all  need to take this thing called “life” one day (or one moment) at a time.  I remember when I was first getting sober, I had to sometimes just get through the next hour, or even the next 5 minutes, knowing that my current state would pass (or at least hoping it would pass).  If I kept my heart and mind in the…

One of our goals at TSR is to be  a venue where artists in recovery can share their talent with others.  One of the effects of active addiction is a thwarting of our artistic side and recovery offers an open door where we can share our talents freely.  This short story was read to me by a friend in recovery and I asked him if I could put it on the site.  He was listening to NPR one day and they invited writers to submit a 3 minute piece, beginning with the sentence, “The nurse left at five o’clock.”   Here…

I don’t know about you, but I have had a tendency to equate “relaxing” with the negative phrase, “doing nothing.”  I don’t know if it’s because I had to multi-task even as a teen-ager just to get by, or if it’s because our culture constantly infuses our brains with doing things “faster,” or maybe it’s because I’m just wired that way.  In one of my last posts I wrote about staying  in the middle of the road, and how I have been trying, over the past several months, to get closer to that middle line, even if it curves or…

by William C. Moyers

And now the rest of my answers to questions posed a few weeks ago by Kelsey S., a 16-year-old student at Mallard Creek High School in Charlotte, N.C.:

Question: If the government gave more funding for drug treatment, do you think there would be a positive change?

Answer: There is no doubt that we need to reconfigure the war on drugs to expand resources for proven prevention programs in high schools, for research by scientists exploring the neurobiology of addiction, and for treatment at licensed facilities that can demonstrate successful outcomes. Today the federal government spends about $21 billion…

Last night on the TSR Chat Room several people got together and talked about “transference of addictions.”  It was a very lively session and the focus always ended up at the same common denominator - sex and relationship addictions.  Now, I don’t know the Big Book by heart and I know there is a section on the Fourth Step on doing a sexual inventory, but I’m not sure that 12 step tome has much to say about becoming addicted to relationships.  I know that when I attend Al-Anon meetings, relationships are brought up on a regular basis.  After the chat…

I had an acupunture appointment yesterday.  Actually I won it.  I was picking up some Chinese food to go a couple of weeks ago and there was a fish bowl sitting on the counter that said something like “Place your business card here and enter a drawing for a free acupuncture session with….”  So I did.  And I won.  The fact that there were only 2 other cards in the bowl may have had something to do with it.

The word acupuncture comes from the Latin acus, “needle”, and pungere, “to prick.”  According to ancient Chinese medical tradition, acupuncture points are situated…

I feel like Kramer… always running into a meeting or a class, sliding in on my heels - arms flinging as I slam the door open and rush into take my place….whether it be a class at the gym, a doctor’s appointment, a meeting or even coming home, it seems that all I do is rush, rush, rush.  Take yesterday, for example.  I had my day all planned out (yeah, like that’s really going to work).  I had just been to an amazing symposium on addictive disorders and was going to spend the entire day researching and processing all the…

by William C. Moyers

Not long ago, I met with a group of women and men in treatment who are fresh in recovery. They are all eager to convert their hope-fueled enthusiasm to fix the people, places and things that were shattered by their addiction to alcohol or other drugs.

“I hurt just knowing how many people I hurt,” says David T., a veterinarian from Pittsburgh. “When I get back home, I’ve got a lot of amends to do to make things right, not just so they feel better but so I can, too.”

Nobody noticed Trina L.’s addiction to pain medication until she was…

The longer I stay sober, and the more I open myself to the little miracles around me, the more I see the connectedness among all of us.  The following is such an example:

I went to a conference in North Carolina in June where several people with recovery websites got together to exchange ideas.  One of the people in attendance was Neil Scott, the founder and anchor of “Recovery Coast to Coast,” a radio show where recovery is the main topic and Neil interviews all kind of people in and around the world of addiction and recovery.  I drove him to the airport…

From the day we arrive on the planet
And blinking, step into the sun
There's more to see than can ever be seen
More to do than can ever be done
There's far too much to take in here
More to find than can ever be found
But the sun rolling high
Through the sapphire sky
Keeps great and small on the endless round

It's the Circle of Life
And it moves us all
Through despair and hope
Through faith and love
Till we find our place
On the path unwinding
In the Circle
The Circle of Life

I’ve been humming…

This past week-end I went to see the movie “Julie and Julia,” a story about a young woman who decides to make every one of Julia Child’s 524 recipes in her famous book in the period of one year and write a blog about it.  She becomes obsessed with this project and as she progresses through each recipe, she becomes more like Julia Child, even to the point of wearing a single strand of pearls, just like Julia’s.  The movie also is about the real Mrs. Child and how she got her start in cooking and became the icon for…

I thought I had reached a point in my recovery where I was taking pretty good care of myself.  After all, I only smoke moderately, only drink 4-5 MUGS of coffee a day, go to the gym, go to meetings, meditate, volunteer - put all that stuff in a bowl, mix until smooth and you have a pretty healthy life…..or so I told myself.  But lately I’ve begun to realize that maybe all that coffee might be a contributing factor to my nervousness (Duh!!!) and perhaps the tar and nicotine that I suck into my lungs on a daily basis…