It’s Monday morning and when I look at the week ahead I want to go home, crawl back under the covers and hide.  Well, kinda hide - I’m sure you know what I mean.  That’s why we all  need to take this thing called “life” one day (or one moment) at a time.  I remember when I was first getting sober, I had to sometimes just get through the next hour, or even the next 5 minutes, knowing that my current state would pass (or at least hoping it would pass).  If I kept my heart and mind in the…

One of our goals at TSR is to be  a venue where artists in recovery can share their talent with others.  One of the effects of active addiction is a thwarting of our artistic side and recovery offers an open door where we can share our talents freely.  This short story was read to me by a friend in recovery and I asked him if I could put it on the site.  He was listening to NPR one day and they invited writers to submit a 3 minute piece, beginning with the sentence, “The nurse left at five o’clock.”   Here…

I don’t know about you, but I have had a tendency to equate “relaxing” with the negative phrase, “doing nothing.”  I don’t know if it’s because I had to multi-task even as a teen-ager just to get by, or if it’s because our culture constantly infuses our brains with doing things “faster,” or maybe it’s because I’m just wired that way.  In one of my last posts I wrote about staying  in the middle of the road, and how I have been trying, over the past several months, to get closer to that middle line, even if it curves or…

by William C. Moyers

And now the rest of my answers to questions posed a few weeks ago by Kelsey S., a 16-year-old student at Mallard Creek High School in Charlotte, N.C.:

Question: If the government gave more funding for drug treatment, do you think there would be a positive change?

Answer: There is no doubt that we need to reconfigure the war on drugs to expand resources for proven prevention programs in high schools, for research by scientists exploring the neurobiology of addiction, and for treatment at licensed facilities that can demonstrate successful outcomes. Today the federal government spends about $21 billion…

Last night on the TSR Chat Room several people got together and talked about “transference of addictions.”  It was a very lively session and the focus always ended up at the same common denominator - sex and relationship addictions.  Now, I don’t know the Big Book by heart and I know there is a section on the Fourth Step on doing a sexual inventory, but I’m not sure that 12 step tome has much to say about becoming addicted to relationships.  I know that when I attend Al-Anon meetings, relationships are brought up on a regular basis.  After the chat…

I had an acupunture appointment yesterday.  Actually I won it.  I was picking up some Chinese food to go a couple of weeks ago and there was a fish bowl sitting on the counter that said something like “Place your business card here and enter a drawing for a free acupuncture session with….”  So I did.  And I won.  The fact that there were only 2 other cards in the bowl may have had something to do with it.

The word acupuncture comes from the Latin acus, “needle”, and pungere, “to prick.”  According to ancient Chinese medical tradition, acupuncture points are situated…

I feel like Kramer… always running into a meeting or a class, sliding in on my heels - arms flinging as I slam the door open and rush into take my place….whether it be a class at the gym, a doctor’s appointment, a meeting or even coming home, it seems that all I do is rush, rush, rush.  Take yesterday, for example.  I had my day all planned out (yeah, like that’s really going to work).  I had just been to an amazing symposium on addictive disorders and was going to spend the entire day researching and processing all the…

by William C. Moyers

Not long ago, I met with a group of women and men in treatment who are fresh in recovery. They are all eager to convert their hope-fueled enthusiasm to fix the people, places and things that were shattered by their addiction to alcohol or other drugs.

“I hurt just knowing how many people I hurt,” says David T., a veterinarian from Pittsburgh. “When I get back home, I’ve got a lot of amends to do to make things right, not just so they feel better but so I can, too.”

Nobody noticed Trina L.’s addiction to pain medication until she was…

The longer I stay sober, and the more I open myself to the little miracles around me, the more I see the connectedness among all of us.  The following is such an example:

I went to a conference in North Carolina in June where several people with recovery websites got together to exchange ideas.  One of the people in attendance was Neil Scott, the founder and anchor of “Recovery Coast to Coast,” a radio show where recovery is the main topic and Neil interviews all kind of people in and around the world of addiction and recovery.  I drove him to the airport…

From the day we arrive on the planet
And blinking, step into the sun
There's more to see than can ever be seen
More to do than can ever be done
There's far too much to take in here
More to find than can ever be found
But the sun rolling high
Through the sapphire sky
Keeps great and small on the endless round

It's the Circle of Life
And it moves us all
Through despair and hope
Through faith and love
Till we find our place
On the path unwinding
In the Circle
The Circle of Life

I’ve been humming…

This past week-end I went to see the movie “Julie and Julia,” a story about a young woman who decides to make every one of Julia Child’s 524 recipes in her famous book in the period of one year and write a blog about it.  She becomes obsessed with this project and as she progresses through each recipe, she becomes more like Julia Child, even to the point of wearing a single strand of pearls, just like Julia’s.  The movie also is about the real Mrs. Child and how she got her start in cooking and became the icon for…

I thought I had reached a point in my recovery where I was taking pretty good care of myself.  After all, I only smoke moderately, only drink 4-5 MUGS of coffee a day, go to the gym, go to meetings, meditate, volunteer - put all that stuff in a bowl, mix until smooth and you have a pretty healthy life…..or so I told myself.  But lately I’ve begun to realize that maybe all that coffee might be a contributing factor to my nervousness (Duh!!!) and perhaps the tar and nicotine that I suck into my lungs on a daily basis…

Every day I receive an e-mail from a wonderful site, gratefulness.org. This month the daily reflections are from one of my favorite Buddhist Teachers and Monks, Tich Nhat Hanh.  I share this with you - read it slowly and keep it in your heart.

Till Next Time -

Your Humble Road Warrior

If you do not know how to be patient, how to care, how to use loving speech, you cannot help other people to change. But if we have the energy of compassion and loving kindness in us, the people around us will be influenced by our way of being and living.…

The addict in my life is in jail.  Got arrested yesterday.  The call was very confusing - something about old warrants that supposedly had already been taken care of - I didn’t listen very closely.  He asked me  to make 3 phone calls, which I did.  He asked me to look into 3 long term rehab facilities, which I said I would not do….too little too late. I’ve been mulling over our relationship a lot lately and have definitely come to the conclusion that this man is my drug of choice.  Regardless of the reason - control issues, being the…

I just found out last night that my family is getting together back home in Chicago for a reunion of sorts.  My eldest sister has been the matron of our family for many years.  She has the big house where everyone gathers for holidays and get-togethers.  I basically lived with her when I was in college, taking care of her two daughters, which was one of the most joy-filled periods in my life.  My feelings for these girls (now adult women with babies of their own) are almost the same as I have for  my own child.

My sister (and my…

I just want to put in a plug for a new treatment center that just opened this week on South Padre Island, Texas.  It’s called Origins and a friend of mine from New Jersey, Pete Marinelli has put his heart and soul into this project to help the sick and suffering addict still out there.  Pete has 20 years of soberiety and I met him one evening when I happened to be in The Garden State and hit an AA meeting.  He introduced himself, sat next to me and made me feel at home.  He’s got a great Jersey accent and ever…

I’m working from home this morning.  It’s a grey day, humid and rainy and I don’t have the energy to get in the shower right now, get dressed, and go to the office.  That’s okay.  I’m allowed this time.  So often I think I have to “perform” - to make sure I’m always busy, being productive, getting things done.  My life is chaos incorporated and I forget that down time is just as important as “up” time.

Last night I went to my Nia class.  For me, this is my 90 minute get-away where my body, mind and spirit take a…

I just watched a speech by Christopher Kennedy Lawford from that was delivered in May for inexcesstv.com.  In 28 minutes, he barely took a breath and I was stuck to the screen like white on rice.  He is a bold speaker, right in your face, telling it like it is - speaks openly about his addiction and the hold it has had on his very famous family.  I know someone who has met him and says he has a bit of an ego, but watching this video - so direct - so honest -so raw - kind of gave me…

Well, it’s been 6 days since my infamous decompensation on Main Street, when I found my active addict actively acting out  his addiction.  First of all, thanks to all of you who commented on my blog.  I am so grateful to you guys for the warm fuzzies.  So, as I said, I have been taking care of myself - really, Scout’s Honor - and life has been much more fluid the past couple of days.  I have been taken out to dinner (twice) and I didn’t have to pay - imagine that! All my doggies are, once again, sleeping with…

by Richard G. Hartnett

It’s taken me a very long time to read Richard Hartnett’s new book, “SOBRIETY and INSPIRATION - Entrusting Ourselves to the Source of Our Healing and Creativity.” Although this book is written in a language that is very comfortable, it is a very thorough description of the process  involved in finding self-healing, recovery from addictions and and actually how to  enjoy the process while you’re doing it.  This book cannot be read like a work of fiction.  It must be read slowly so that the reader may ingest, then digest each topic Mr. Hartnett addresses.  This is…

It happened again.  It just happened last week so I thought I was safe for at least a few more days. It was payday…..he works at the bookstore at the community college he attends.  He was going to put in a few hours of work, then study for a group project for his “Human Development” class.  He usually calls a couple of times during the day.  Yesterday - no calls - I already knew.  I called at 4:30, he answered and said he had just gotten off the bus and was heading toward my office to see me.  My stomach…

I had a dream the other night - you know, one of those crazy spaces where you’re someplace but you’re really not there.  I was in a huge office space with hundreds of cubicles neatly stacked in rows so that they all looked identical from the end of the room.  However, the flooring in the hallway next to my cubicle was linoleum instead of carpet so I always knew where I was.  I was all alone, waiting for the rest of the  “company” to move in from some far away place (I think it was Los Angeles - that’s far…

by Carrie Fisher

My very best friend just sent me an early birthday present.  It is a copy of “Wishful Drinking” by Carrie Fisher.  I read it in one sitting.  I read “Postcards From The Edge” many years ago and some of the things Ms. Fisher talks about in this book are remembrances of things past, but this time we see a different Carrie Fisher - one that has been through a  ECT (Electric Shock Therapy), and has awakened to a dead gay man in her bed to name a few.  Sounds just a bit bizarre, but then Ms. Fisher’s life…

(c) 2009 Allen Berger, Ph.D.

In the two past decade I have studied male initiation rites. In fact I attended a remarkable male initiation performed by Father Richard Rohr in Julian, California. It was a very moving and powerful experience and resulted in the following insight about recovery as a rite of passage, as an initiation rite.

An initiation rite is an experiential event that helps one move through a rite of passage. The process facilitates the transition from one stage of life to another. It creates a personal transformation, a momentous metamorphosis - an experience after which one is never the…

by Noah Levine

I read a lot of books.  I barely put one down before I pick up another.  I often don’t remember authors, titles and other such trivialities of the written word, but for the last two days I have been taken to another place - the land of Noah Levine in his book “Dharma Punx.”  When I got the book I wasn’t crazy about the title or the synopsis - a punk rocker who find the middle way?  Yeah, right - that’s right up my alley.  I, a middle class, middle age woman can readily identify with the punk…

I just realized that it’s been two weeks since I’ve written anything on my own damn site.  I’ve been so busy lately with doing the other necessary things one has to do to keep a website up that I’ve neglected to even stop for a second and do a little reflecting in printed form.  Right now it is the 4th of July, I’m sitting on my deck, the dogs lazily scattered around me.  The weather is beautiful - 77 degrees - the trees surround me as I sit here in quiet, finally taking time to be still.  I’ve had to…

I just got back from a trip where I spent 4 days with some of the craziest people I have ever met.  They were hysterical, loud, outspoken, friendly, easy to get along with and had the combined energy of a major nuclear force.  They were also therapists, radio hosts, interviewers, marketing people, movers and shakers, business people and…..were all in recovery.  And we’re not talking 3 martini lunches here - we’re talkin’ crack heads, heroine addicts and any other illegal or illicit substance available.  All had been there, come through and were now paying it forward.

Each morning we spent working…

Here’s a great little clip by William White to get you thinking.  Watch it and let me know what you think.

Till Next Time -

You Humble Road Warrior

It’s a Wednesday afternoon and for the past 13 days I have been taking care of one of Melissa’s nieces while she has been attending to her dad’s illness and death.  It’s been a long time since I’ve lived with an ll year old and even then, it was a boy.  This girl is witty, gregarious, adorable,  in many ways much older than her biological age suggests, can be a pain in the butt and has been stuck to my side.  She’s been with me because she goes to a private school that got out on May 21 (sounds a…