From today@dailyom.com

August 19, 2008

Rethinking Complaining

We all know someone who has elevated the process of complaining to a high art. Sometimes funny, sometimes exhausting, these people have the ability to find a problem just about anywhere. In its more evolved form, complaining is simply the ability to see what’s not working, in one’s own life or in the external world, and it can be quite useful if followed to its natural conclusion—finding a solution and applying it. However, many of us don’t get that far, and we find that complaining has become an end in itself. In small doses, this is…

I just got home from my Tuesday night meditation class. The class consists of a 40 minute semi-guided meditation in the vipanassa tradition of mindful awareness, followed by a dharma talk on some very meaningful topic, such as loving kindness, nonjudgment, or the topic tonight, attachment to views. After years of Tuesday nights spent in this way, I am very slowly acquiring the skill of being mindfully aware of just “what is.” I see longer glimpses of the peace that comes when I concentrate on my breath and place my awareness in the present moment. Tonight, however, that practice was…

Every year SAMHSA (The Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration) promotes recovery in a BIG way during the month of September. This year is no exception. The theme of The National Alcohol and Drug Prevention Recovery Month for 2008 is Join the Voices for Recovery - Real People, Real Recovery.

One of the services provided is a monthly webcast, focusing on an important issue in the recovery community. I was asked to be part of the August webcast entitled Accessing Prevention, Treatment, and Recovery Online where I, along with three other professionals, discussed the changes that have occurred in the…

by William C. Moyers

People struggle to explain to me their problems related to alcohol or other drugs. The result: Oftentimes, they expound in minute detail about their circumstances before finally punctuating their e-mails or letters with the questions they want answered.

But sometimes, it’s the other way around, and they drive right to the point, leaving me to struggle with how to keep it simple with succinct responses.

Dear Mr. Moyers: As a 30-year-old man with 10 years of sobriety now, I find myself in a perplexing relationship with a woman who is a wine connoisseur (and beautiful and funny and intriguing,…

This is a message from a website, www.today@dailyom.com that I receive every day. I’d like to share this with you.

Till Next Time -

Your Humble Road Warrior

Looking At What We Don’t Want To See

It is one of life’s great paradoxes that the things we don’t want to look at in ourselves are the very things we need to look at in order to know ourselves better and to become more fully who we are. The feelings that make us want to run away are buried treasure full of energy and inspiration if we are willing to look. These feelings come in many…

If you’ve been on the site any time in the last 10 days, you’ve seen the same face on the front page video. The woman’s story has been divided into 6 parts, recounting, some times in graphic detail, episodes from her 25 year long addiction to several substances and behaviors. The woman appears very neatly dressed, has obviously had a good education and speaks very succinctly about what addiction has done to her, to her family, to her friends and to her life in general.

When one thinks of the term “addict” her face is not the one that would be…

written by Beverly Conyers

reviewed by Ginger B.

Beverly Conyers has done an excellent job of sharing her personal experience, strength and hope in her book, “Addict in the Family.” She has been there as the mother of an addict, and her understanding of the disease of addiction and its repercussions within family and friends is right on the money without being condescending, derogatory or patronizing. She tells it like it is; “Addicts persist in their self-destructive, addictive behavior until something within themselves - something quite apart from anyone else’s efforts - changes so radically that the desire for the high is dulled…

by William C. Moyers

Many addicts and alcoholics want help expecting that they never will get high again.

I understand their sentiments. There was a time in my life, too, when the pain and suffering of drinking and drugging were more than I could bear. Desperate, I sought relief and a way out of my intractable spiral in the whirlwind of addiction. Treatment gave me that chance.

But as I and many others have learned — sometimes the hard way — treatment does not offer a cure for alcoholism or drug dependence. The solution requires a lifetime commitment, including vigilance and a healthy…

As word gets out about our website, I have been receiving letters from folks who are currently trying to practice their sobriety from behind bars. Even though inmates are granted no access to computers, I will periodically share some of these letters with you so that those who do not have a voice may be heard. I will type the letters exactly as written. Here is a letter I received last week from a gentlemen incarcerated in Texas.

I wrote him today, telling him that I was posting his letter on our site.  Take a moment and read it, if you…

For the last two weeks I have skipped church and attended a HUGE 12 step meeting that is held every Sunday morning. I never liked this meeting because it seemed to me that is was where people went to be seen. Everybody who’s anybody is there and I had decided long ago to boycott that kind of public display of ego. Well, guess who’s eating her words? The last two weeks have given me the opportunity to hear people share that I don’t even know, to listen to even more opinions that just might open my mind a little more…

By Courtney H.

I have had this big fat resentment against a childhood friend of mine for not asking me to be in her wedding party this fall. Even though my decision to stop drinking seemed to signify a serious barrier to our friendship, I still thought our many childhood and teenage promises of having each other in our respective wedding parties would be met.

The barrier between us began during our college years. It seemed par for the course with living so far away from each other. When we worked in the same city the year I finished my graduate degree,…

by Susan Jeffers, Ph.D.

There are times on our Journey through life that we feel lost, unloved, helpless, and defeated. Until we find the huge amount of power and love that lives within us, these times happen much too frequently. What do we do when we find ourselves in such an unhappy space?

Some of us escape into the land of danger and defeat. We “get out of ourselves” by drinking too much, or taking drugs, or feeling sorry for ourselves, or complaining, or doing whatever stops us from doing what is truly necessary…and that is…taking responsibility for our experience of life.…

Afghans fight an addiction to heroin

Chris Sands, Foreign Correspondent

from an article in “The National”

More Afghans are turning to home-grown heroin, creating a serious health threat that officials say could be as dangerous as the insurgency. AP

KABUL // More and more Afghans are turning to cheap home-grown heroin, creating a health threat that is potentially as serious as the insurgency, narcotics officials and community workers warn.

The drug’s easy availability has become a major problem since the fall of the Taliban in 2001, despite efforts by the international community to stop poppy growth and the production of opium, from which heroin is…

Last night I went to a local church in town where a 12 step, Al-Anon and Alateen meeting were all being held simultaneously. Since I qualify for two of the three, I had to make a decision. I chose the Al-Anon meeting because I had never been to this one before. The topic was centered around the difference between compassion and enabling - something with which everyone in the room had more than an adequate amount of experience. Most of the faces were new to me, but the wisdom and strength were reminiscent of other Al-Anon meetings I attend.

Being a…

This morning our office mouse, Cotton, died. Even though he technically belonged to my boss, Melissa and her daughter, he was my mouse. His cage was kept in the little loft where I work and over the past year he had become by best buddy. I would leave his cage, open, on the carpet and he would come and go whenver he pleased.

Over the last several months, he and I had developed a special bond. He would crawl up my leg into my lap and I would put him on my desk, where he explored the tape dispenser, chewed the ends…

by William C. Moyers

Sometimes the best advice comes when readers seek insight not in questions about themselves or their problems, but in querying me about my own experiences. This hit home in a recent letter from a 14-year-old boy.

Dear Mr. Moyers: I want to know what it was like to fall in the peer pressure of drugs and why you did. I know people always say to stay away from drugs, and I know to say no, but I want to know what it felt like to be asked. Were you nervous, anxious and scared? Being drug-free is very important…

by George McGovern

Reviewed by Ginger B.

I was at a conference recently and this book was being given away as a “freebie” so, of course, I put it in my bag, not intending to put it on the top of my list of books to read. About a week after the conference I was at home, saw the book, and picked it up, not expecting a great read. After all, it was written by a politician (I voted for George McGovern in 1972, but a politician is still a politician), the event happened 14 years ago, and the book was already…

by Ginger B.

I just watched a new documentary entitled “The Courage to Change: portraits of men in recovery”, with the subtitle “A collection of short films, audio journals, and other interactive media.” This is a 4 year labor of love by Andy Young, a certified alcohol/drug counselor and licensed professional counselor.

Andy writes, “”My aim was something creative and engaging like an HBO special, yet with clinical content based on my experience as a counselor…”

The DVD is a compilation of videos, audio segments and questions for consideration by the viewer. It is an eclectic source of information for mens’ issues, with…

This was sent to me by Jason J. who celebrates 3 years of sobriety this week. Notice the date it was written.

Till Next Time -

Your Humble Road Warrior

Special Promotions: Win $500 Worth Of Booze!
Monday, January 10, 2005, 1:29 PM

Dear Bill W.

So there’s this email that comes to me and it’s like a

fortune or horoscope or something. I must have signed

up for it but I delete anything with an unsolicited

weird sender name or hokey message. Anyway the last

one’s tag line read:

Your Soulmate Awaits: $500 Laptop Is Waiting For You! 

…and the message read:

Soon you will be faced with two equally tempting

choices.…

I am honored to be contributing to The Second Road. In the future I will be addressing issues relevant to recovery and relationships. My hope is to both inform you and challenge your beliefs. I want you to step back and take an honest look at yourself and what you are doing in your recovery and in your relationships. New information creates change. In fact, I believe much of our suffering comes from ignorance and misinformation. Later I discuss several ways of looking at recovery, but before I do I want to share some of my story.

I have been…

Ah!!!! I remember the good ol’ days - comin’ off a binge or resurfacing from a blackout - my hangovers varied depending on the drug or amount of liquor I had consumed. Mostly they were of the jackhammer in the head kind - I would wake up (or come to) in the morning, head pounding, my stomaching feeling like I had just drunk a glass of vinegar that had been filled with dirty cigarette butts and left to sit for a week or so. I would drag my sad carcass into the bathroom, look in the mirror and say to…

by Mark Harris

I am a mandatory reporter for a system I would not trust a single blood relative to. Nor could I wholeheartedly, unreservedly, recommend or refer any person who looks like a blood relative of mine. I have to honestly say that even if you are blond haired blue eyed and wealthy, that the system will take adequate care of you. To be sure, many parts of it will be happy to take your personal wealth, or insurance wealth, in the elusive pursuit of mental health and well-being. For the most part it will do well by you, by…

Angela, who has worked on this site, sent this to me this week-end. Lest we ever forget….

from The Richmond Times Dispatch

“A woman was killed and a man was hurt yesterday in a single-car crash on state Route 288 in Chesterfield County.

Virginia State Police trooper M.S. Meyer said Megan R. Ford, 30, of the 6100 block of Watchhaven Circle in Chesterfield County was flown by helicopter to VCU Medical Center, where she died shortly after the 12:40 a.m. crash.

Ford’s passenger and husband, Jon G. Brown, 29, was taken by ambulance to VCU, where he was being treated for injuries that were…

by William C. Moyers

John McCain and Barack Obama were on the never-ending campaign trail again last week, and for once, one of the candidates actually talked about the never-ending war on drugs.

The problem is that Sen. McCain was doing his talking in Colombia, where the fight to control the production and distribution of cocaine to America never has succeeded, despite billions upon billions of U.S. taxpayer dollars being spent to do so. And what he said was nothing new.

“There is a long way to go to stem the flow of drugs into the United States of America,” McCain said. “The…

Josh Hamilton’s story a reminder of the crossroads between Sport and Real Life

Posted by Ryan Terpstra | WGHN-AM July 15, 2008 18:11PM

Josh Hamilton was all smiles on Monday night, a far cry from where he was three years ago.

All of us have scars, some physical, some emotional.

Sometimes we joke about them. Say that chicks dig them. Sometimes we hide them. And some are too big to hide.

Josh Hamilton has scars. His body is painted with them in the form of 26 tattoos he embroidered himself with in the days of his drug addition. His eyes hold them as well, with the…

by Greg W.

July 15^th

It happens to me every year. I am not much of a morning person but there is that one morning that I wake up and immediately smile. Today was that day and I couldn’t place it. Was it watching Josh Hamilton (an inspiring recovering addict) hit 28 homers in a single round of the home-run derby at Yankee Stadium the night before? Was it the summertime? Then it hit me…it was July 15^th, the day that has surpassed all other important days in my life. It is the day that everything changed. I finally woke up on…

funk: /fʌŋk/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[fuhngk] Pronunciation Key - noun

–verb (used with object)

I am definitely in “a dejected mood.” I am not, however cowering. I am not in a state of great fright or terror, but I just want to join The Junky’s Wife and go shopping, eat my guts out, make a mess and leave it for someone else to clean up (which ain’t ever gonna happen). I don’t…

This was sent to me by a friend who lost her youngest brother to alcohol and drugs almost five years ago. Mikey was the youngest of 6 children, had the ability to turn the the most mundane objects into works of art, was handsome, witty, was an excellent cook, an animal lover, a “neat freak”, was very well read and had an undying devotion to his family. He was also lonely, tended to take everything to the extreme, tried relentlessly to stay clean, and often did so for months at a time… only to go back into the dark, a…