Martin Luther King Jr. and Recovery
Jan 18, 10- (by Mama MPJ)
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I was reading over some of the words of Martin Luther King Jr. today, and came across some that reminded me very much of something I used to repeat to myself and my husband in the wake of disclosure of his sex addiction: “There can be no deep disappointment where there is not deep love.” Dr. King was talking about his love for the church when he wrote those words, while I was talking about my love for what (at the time) was my God and my religion — my husband — but they were true all the same.
I used to use that idea — that I was feeling the pain I was because I had loved deeply — to comfort myself. I’d remind myself that — enraged and saddened and disappointed and hurt as I was — those feelings were all born of a tremendous capacity to love. That love was a gift. I held onto that idea in the darkest days and tried to remind myself not to shut myself off from loving for fear of being hurt again. And it’s being able to love that has opened my heart to healing from that hurt.
My husband was imperfect. The church was imperfect. Human beings are imperfect. Their institutions are imperfect. In loving them we are bound to be hurt and disappointed. And yet we love them and ourselves and in that we find what is divine in all of us. And that’s what saves us.
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This is such a lovely post. And I’ve found it to be very true in my own experience.
I got sober on MLK Day - and I’ve always drawn strength for my recovery from Dr. King’s example and his speeches. Most especially “take the first step in faith” and “we as a people will get there together.” Thanks for the post.
That Dr. King quote strikes at the heart and core of our interactions in society, with people, with institutions, with ourselves. Even our pets, to think about it, we have come to bestow so much trust in them, that they too disappoint us.