Crafting the Steps.
Dec 10, 09- (by JunkysWife)
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- Family and Friends, Sober Salon
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I met with one of my sponsees to talk about her stepwork for a few hours last week, and she also brought some yarn and crochet hooks. She wanted me to show her how to make a hat, so she could give handmade hats to her relatives as Christmas gifts.
I’ve been crocheting for years. I can make all kinds of beautiful things. My stitches are fast, even, and fancy. I don’t mean to brag - at least not much. It’s just something I do well, as I’ve practiced a lot.
She kept getting frustrated that her stitches weren’t as even as mine, that she couldn’t do the work as quickly, that her yarn tension was never quite right, that her hat had some lumps and bumps in it instead of being smooth and pretty like mine.
“Your first few hats are going to be ugly,” I told her. “It’s the nature of learning. You’ll have a few throwaways before you start to get it right. Keep practicing, though, and it will start to make sense.”
It occurred to me that this lesson in progress, not perfection, was much clearer than the messiness of explaining how to apply 12 step principles to her marriage. the same advice can apply:
Your first attempts might be ugly. You might not understand it all, and you won’t get it right every time. Keep trying, though. Keep doing the work, and it will become natural in time.
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