Hi God.
Nov 29, 09- (by JunkysWife)
- one response
- Family and Friends, Sober Salon
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Hi God. It’s me.
I’m struggling with a little bit of anxiety tonight. My husband is at a men’s fire pit. I want him to come home, and he’s not home yet. It reminds me of other times when he wasn’t home. I know where he is. I want him to be there, even, but I want him to be here, with me, at the same time.
I want this removed from me, please. When we were first married, I relished my alone time. I relished my privacy, and I enjoyed when we’d have some space. I always welcomed him back, of course, but I liked having real spaces in our togetherness.
The ravages of addiction on our home have left me uncomfortable with him being gone for too long. I want to be ok. I want to feel safe, and I want to trust him. I don’t, though.
More than anything, I want to trust that I am going to be ok because you are guiding my life and taking care of me. I want to trust in your love for me, no matter what happens with him. I want to trust that you have our lives in your hand, and that whatever happens is according to your will, and therefore in my best interest.
I still don’t quite trust you. Or, I do trust you, but there’s a part of my heart that wants to hold on to my husband. Please find that part of me, and work on it for me. I’m not sure where it is, what it’s about, or what I should do about it, but you know. You see it, and you know how to fix it. Help me work out these kinks so that I can life in perfect accordance with your will.
Protect my husband, God, and bring him home to me safe.
Amen.
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Hi God -
I don’t think I always trust you either, God. As a matter of fact, I know I don’t always trust you. But I want to thank you for the words I receive from you through TJW - help me, too, to work out the kinks.
Amen.