Roll Over, Darwin
Nov 9, 09- (by road warrior)
- 2 responses
- Humble Road Warrior, Sober Salon
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I just read a blog written by The Junky’s Wife that ended with a comment about all we have to do is wait, and pray about whatever it is we’re trying to work through - and that’s it. Ya know how sometimes you can read a sentence and it hits you like a ton of bricks? Well, that little group of words just knocked me for a loop.
For the past several months I, like everyone else on the planet, have been going through some rather difficult life decision-making processes. It doesn’t matter what they are. You have yours and I have mine. We each have to play the cards that we’re dealt. What has been occurring to me lately, however, is that I’ve not been using the “wait and pray” method to “wait and pray” through these times. Being an excellent addict AND and excellent co-dependent, I often do not follow my own advice (can anyone here relate?). And the insidious thing about the whole situation is that I can actually talk myself into believing that I am TOTALLY working a program of letting go, when, in fact, I’m clinging like a starving dog to a piece of raw meat.
I want what I want. I am a great expounder to others that we should not “cling” to relationships, events, other people, material things - whatever - and then that is exactly what I do. But I do it in the dark so no one knows. I do it in the back room where no one ever goes. I do it when no one is looking so I continue to appear to be this great role model. Funny, isn’t it? The species Human Addictus is an unusual being, one that tries to mask its own skin by trying to appear what he is not, when in actuality, the mask is the give away. All the other members of the species can spot it a mile away.
So, here I sit, trying once again to wait… and pray.
Thanks TJW
Till Next Time -
Your Humble Road Warrior
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Jinx, YOU are not alone…you are simply another of us nearly 7 billion humans on earth. And I’m saying, “Me, too! Me, too!”
That sign over the AA meeting room door which says, “YOU ARE NOT ALONE”–well, I thought they meant I would now have friends. I did not realize that it meant whatever I am thinking, they are thinking. Whatever I am doing, THEY are doing. I am not alone. Hmmmmm!
The older I get (wait a minute–I can say that. Not you, though!) the more I see we ARE all alike in almost every way. True, some of us are sicker than others
And that brings us to Jinx..NO! I didn’t mean that! C’mon, Peeps, doncha see an error when it hits ya in the head?
That brings us to ALL of us, daily working to become better pray-ers, better citizens, better bloggers, healthier Peeps, happier, more peaceful, and more capable of loving helpfulness.
Glad to see ya home, Jinx–Quite an interesting post. Thank you.
Yep. I’m very good at knowing what other people should let go of and very bad at letting go myself! Getting those moments of insight is one of the things I love about the recovery blogosphere: reading posts can hit me like listening to shares. It’s like one big meeting any time I need it.