I’m a party pooper. I’m a downer. I’m no fun. I ruin other people’s good times. (Because I totally have control over other people’s good times, you know.)

You see, yesterday Mark and I had plans to take the kids to a pumpkin patch. We were going to let them run around and jump off hay bales and find pumpkins and navigate a kiddie corn maze. But I woke up a few hours into my night’s sleep when one wet child tried to climb in bed with me and an hour later when another child sniffling from the tail end of a cold woke up early and was ready to start the day. And, as people who don’t get enough sleep will be, I was cranky. Bite your head off cranky. Stab you in the eyeballs with a fork cranky. Blast your eardrums straight out the top of your skull with my screams cranky. That is, if I could open my bleary eyes long enough to find you.

I decided that I needed to go back to bed. And that was a good decision. But there was that whole pumpkin patch thing. Now, the kids didn’t know we were planning it, because I’m no fool or at least not so much of one as I used to be. I know that my kids get so hyped up about exciting events that they can’t sleep. (Not that they slept anyway on this occasion.) And then they become sorely disappointed (read: wail all day as if the world has ended) if someone gets sick or it rains or the car blows a tire and we can’t go. So I rarely tell them what we’re up to until we’re up to it.

I knew that they were none the wiser, but it still triggered that whole party pooper speech in my head. That whole “I should work harder and do better” speech. That whole “Why is it that everyone else in the world seems to be able to juggle jobs and sleep and housecleaning and taking their kids out to one freaking pumpkin patch once a year and I can’t?!” speech.

I knew those speeches were coming from a place of exhaustion, but they were still pretty persuasive. (You do have a point there, crazy voice in my head, I can be pretty sucky.) But I went off to bed anyway. And hours later, when I woke up, all the crazy talk was gone. I took my son out to a park while my daughter went to a friend’s house to play and Mark took a nap of his own, and suddenly I felt like the most together Mama ever. Amazing what a little sleep will do to turn the party pooper into the life of of her own party.