I just realized that it’s been two weeks since I’ve written anything on my own damn site.  I’ve been so busy lately with doing the other necessary things one has to do to keep a website up that I’ve neglected to even stop for a second and do a little reflecting in printed form.  Right now it is the 4th of July, I’m sitting on my deck, the dogs lazily scattered around me.  The weather is beautiful - 77 degrees - the trees surround me as I sit here in quiet, finally taking time to be still.  I’ve had to fight the voices in my head all morning - “Go to the gym, hit a meeting, wash more clothes, clean your sanctuary, and don’t forget the errands….  there’s always errands to run.”  But, at least for this moment, I’m just sitting (and typing) and I may just stay here for the whole afternoon (I doubt it, but there’s always hope).

My signifcant other(?)  has gone on another binge, so I am alone with my doggies.  I love being home alone - I’ve forgotten just how much I enjoy not having to respond to “Hey, Sweetie, come look at this”, or “Baby, I need help with the computer.”  The only demands I put on myself right at this moment are the ones I choose - not someone else.  When I allow myself to just “be” it can really be such a cool experience.  I might even say it’s a blast.  I just read a phenomal book called Dharma Punx which I will review right after this blog and the author, Noah Levine,  talks about having a “soft belly.”  I love that image - so often my stomach is just a little on the tight side and since I read the book I’ve been noticing how often it stays that way…..and that softening it makes me feel so aware, more fluid, relaxed and actually more whole and unified.  Try it.  It’s really cool.

I stopped attending Al-Anon meetings for a while, but have since returned.  Only God knows why and she ain’t tellin’.  I still attend my regular 12 step meetings and have really enjoyed going - ya know how you can get a hair up your “$%#” and think that you don’t have to go anymore?  That you won’t hear anything new….that it’s still the same people regurgitating the same old stuff?  Well, actually it is a lot of the time.  But there’s always a little gem hidden somewhere in that hour and if I’m able to pay attention, I’ll always find it.  Don’t know if I’ll make a meeting today - maybe…maybe not.  But if I do, I know that I’ll come away with a little extra light in my sparkler.

Till Next Time -

Your Humble Road Warrior