Respect Jack’s Boundaries!
Jun 29, 09- (by Mama MPJ)
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- Sober Salon
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Ok, so I’m a little behind on my Lost watching. Somewhere in the middle of the season my husband and I just couldn’t find time to watch TV together, so we are only now getting back to those episodes we so faithfully recorded. Last night we were watching the episode “Whatever Happened, Happened” in which (warning to those more behind than I am: stop here if you don’t want to know) a young Ben Linus is in danger of dying from a gunshot wound and all eyes turn to surgeon Jack Shephard to save him. And Jack… grows some boundaries.
That’s right, Jack told everyone on the island where they could stick the Hippocratic Oath, because apparently, when we’re talking about Ben, “do no harm” means the greater harm would actually be letting him live. What’s more, Jack held firm in the face of several different people begging and bullying him to change. My husband and I speculated that Jack must have attended some of those fast acting TV 12 Step meetings around the time he shaved off the alcoholic-Jack beard and went back to clean shaven control-freak-Jack. Yeah, TV isn’t always so realistic. But what was realistic was the way other people reacted to his sudden ability to say no (and mean it): they were pissed. And they pushed back.
“For crying out loud, Kate,” I mock-yelled at the TV, “It’s hard to say no! Respect Jack’s boundaries!” Because that part is still the part that trips me up. I’m getting better at the saying no part, at the “this is as far as I’m willing to go and as much as I’m willing to do” part. I’m just not so good at holding to that path as others get angrier and push harder and harder for me to change, to go back to the old me, the one with the friendly and free flowing boundaries. So I was inwardly gleeful that this character on TV (having gone to the imaginary 12 Step meetings my husband and I invented for him) held his ground in the face of angry attempts to get him to change. And I loved what happened after he did. People took care of themselves and figured out other solutions without him. What a beautiful thing!
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That is what first amazed me about boundaries. When I stuck to my guns and held my ground, other’s found ways to cope in ways that I would have never thought possible.
I must say I was one of the “pissed off” bunch that thought Jack was being a pain in the butt for sticking to his belief.
But it’s great that should bring this up because I’m really struggling with boundaries in general at the moment - how to define and enforce them. It’s been so difficult for me lately that it makes sense that I would not recognize the concept being played out on a TV show. I guess I still have a lot to of recovery work ahead of me 
Yes! This was an awesome episode, and I was cheering Jack on. I mean, c’mon, he’s total codie, self appointing himself as the leader–it all stems back to his daddy issues. And have you ever noticed how much Locke bothers him? To me, Locke is the ultimate 12-step Buddha guy. He’s always “letting go and letting the island.”
Totally, Margaux! In fact, my husband speculated that Jack started letting go and letting the island because the writers had (at least temporarily) killed off Locke and needed a character to play that recovery guru role.
How can I respect Jack’s boundaries when I have no respect for Jack to begin with? Seriously, they should have killed him off in episode 1 like they originally planned to.
Sorry, I realize that’s not what the Second Road is all about, but he bugs me.
MPJ–Or maybe the writers are so genius that they realized that once Jack had a break from the conflict with Locke, he’d begin doing for himself what Locke had modeled.
On a side note, my husband LOVES Locke, to the point where it’s more like a bizarro man crush. Maybe there’s hope.
“(having gone to the imaginary 12 Step meetings my husband and I invented for him)” - love it! And I love your analysis - gave me some food for thought. Thanks.