Richard G. Hartnett

     Getting sober, whether from active addiction or co-dependency, is an opportunity for us to finally get to understand ourselves.  The 12 Step programs of recovery suggest a process of self-study, uncovering the forces at work inside us.  When our emotions calm down enough for us to reflect on our interior dynamics, we begin to discern various kinds of forces that influence or affect us in different ways. 

     The more we observe the different movements within us, the more clearly we can distinguish them.  On the one hand, there are the impulses or urges that lead to our getting high, either with drugs or rage or whatever yields immediate satisfaction.  On the other hand, we can also recognize the assorted expectations or obligations we feel that lead us toward social conformity.  And finally, when we get really quiet, we can detect the inspirations and intuitions that guide us in a healthy and creative way.

     Gradually we may perceive that our personality has different sides to it, and we may attribute each of these influences to a distinct sub-personality.  Our urges and impulses originate in the inner Addict, our expectations and obligations derive from the inner Tyrant, and our inspirations and intuitions come from our Healthy Self.  These are not official names, they merely describe the figure at work.

     Disidentifying with the negative and destructive forces in us is crucial for us to attain sobriety.  We need to devise a strategy to deal with each one.  These figures do not want to be exposed, since they retain great power by remaining invisible.  So, when we feel a temptation or a demand, we begin to ask “Who said that?”. and thereby distance ourselves from the Tempter or the Tormentor.  Gradually we learn the tricks they have used to maintain control over us for so long.  We see how they have mislead us and blinded us to constructive measures.

     It takes a while for us to become familiar with this self-analysis.  Fortunately, we are able to find our way because our Healthy Self illuminates the path for us.  The key to sobriety is learning to follow our healthy inspirations.  These may come to us when we become quiet and open, they may come through other people speaking at a meeting or in a good book, or just when we are in a state of twilight dreaming.  The Healthy Self always has a calming and reassuring effect on us.  As long as we are in contact with this creative force, we feel confident and caring.  When we lose contact, we become scared and insecure.  Gradually our self-perception is transformed and we allow the Healthy Self to become us.

     Thank you for listening.

     Rich Hartnett