I recently shared in a meeting that I have begun to feel as if I am taking on more and more service work with Al-Anon. And the feeling that I get is similar to those pre-program years when I took on more and more things at work and at home, only to feel trapped and resentful that I had taken on too much.

I inventoried what was going on and find that I’m not wanting to take on anything else. In fact, I’m wanting to rotate out of service on some things. I haven’t volunteered to do the Beginner meeting in a while. I did it for three months at a stretch and decided that it was someone else’s turn. I still have a couple of sponsees to work with and enjoy that a lot. But on 3 nights a week, I  have 2 hours of Al-Anon and don’t get home until nearly 10 PM. I just need a break and more flexibility with my time.

I’ve found that service work is a great thing. Maybe some of it at first was ego based. I’ve always been one to step up out of a feeling of responsibility, especially when no one else volunteers. But a lot of why I have done service work is to give back to the program what has been so freely given to me. And I appreciate that there were people at the meetings when I was new that took the time to share their experience, strength, and hope which was exactly what I needed to hear at the time. And I have gotten a lot from working with the newcomers who keep coming back.

So maybe it’s time for me to step back, go to meetings, listen to the sharing of others, absorb and think about how the topic relates to my life and situation. Last night’s home group meeting was a good example: the topic was on the Al-Anon “Bill of Rights”. These were excerpted from the ODAT for January 13.

• I have a right to free myself from any situation that interferes with my having a decent life and pleasant experiences.
• I am entitled to life without fear, uncertainty and discomfort.
• I have a right to help not only myself and my family, but the suffering alcoholic as well.
• I have a right to stand firm against constant wavering, which can only hinder me from breaking out of my present thinking pattern.

And I would add the following ones to this:

1. I have the right to ask for what I want

2. I have the right to say no to requests or demands I can’t meet.

3. I have the right to express all of my feelings, positive or negative.

4. I have the right to change my mind.

5. I have the right to make mistakes and not have to be perfect.

6. I have the right to follow my own values and standards.

7. I have the right to say no to anything when I feel I am not ready, it is unsafe or it violates my values.

8. I have the right to determine my own priorities.

9. I have the right not to be responsible for others’ behavior, actions, feelings or problems

10. I have the right to expect honesty from others.

11. I have the right to be angry at someone I love.

12. I have the right to be uniquely myself.

13. I have the right to feel scared and say ‘I’m afraid.”

14. I have the right to say ‘I don’t know’.

15. I have the right not to give excuses or reasons for my behavior.

16. I have the right to make decisions based on my feelings.

17. I have the right to my own needs for personal space and time.

18. I have the right to be playful and frivolous.

19. I have the right to be healthier than those around me.

20. I have the right to be in a non-abusive environment.

21. I have the right to make friends and be comfortable around people.

22. I have the right to change and grow.

23. I have the right to have my needs and wants respected by others

24. I have the right to be treated with dignity and respect

25. I have the right to be happy.

“God guide me to make the right decision and give me the fortitude to cling to it against all pressures and persuasions.”