Let God What?
May 22, 09- (by Mama MPJ)
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I’ve been giving a lot of thought recently to the 12 Step saying: “Let go and let God.” I was talking to a (non-program) friend about those words a few weeks ago and she asked, “What does that mean? Let go and let God? I don’t get it.” And as I struggled to formulate an answer, I found myself approaching the words anew.
I’ve had a lot of letting go I’ve needed to do lately. Among other things, we suffered the death of a pet this week, and death is the ultimate letting go. And at this very moment, Gigi, the stuffed animal that soothes my daughter Janie to sleep each night, is missing. I’ve torn the house apart and can’t find it. I can’t remember where we last saw it. I don’t know if she had it last night because a babysitter put her to sleep. But she can’t sleep without it, right? It must have been here. But what if it wasn’t. Was Wednesday the last time I saw it? Is she going to lose this love so soon after our dear pet? I’m having trouble letting go of clinging to the idea of Gigi like a scared child myself.
And in the clinging, there’s the knowledge that I must let go. And I come back to those words “let go and let God.” I always took them to mean “let go of control and let God take charge,” but I’ve realized they mean a whole host of things “let go of hurt and let God heal” or “let go of isolation and let God in” or “let go of fear and let God soothe.” Right now I’m thinking, “Let go of pain and guilt and sadness over my inability to keep Janie safe from all life’s losses and let God take care of her.”
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MPJ -
It’s almost 6:00A.M. in the morning and I just picked up my 22 year old son - the third time this week - out with friends, drinking. He has no car (too many speeding tickets) and I’ve been trying to let go and let God all week. Right now I want to let the kid go and let God drop kick him across the Milky Way.
I’m no churchgoer, but I do know the story. Have to think that when Jesus went out into the desert to do his 11th step, when he heard what was coming, he might have coughed and said, “God says what?!”
His 12th step was a whopper!
For me, the what becomes whatever. Your Call.
[...] theotherbed: I’m no churchgoer, but I do know the story. Have to think that when Jesus went out into the desert to do his 11th step, when he heard what was coming,… [...]
Letting go is the most difficult, most vital part of recovery, imho.