So, this is the first time that I’ve ever posted an entire chat. But author Benoit Denizet-Lewis is someone I think you should know more about. His book America Anonymous is expanding the dialogue about addiction, in our community and in the mainstream; it’s roots, it’s destruction, it’s social implications, it’s wide arch through demographics. If you haven’t read the book, I can’t recommend it enough. If you can’t buy it, like me, then check your local library. If they don’t have it, request it. Addicts need the proper funding, treatment and awareness that we deserve. I nominate Benoit as a leader in the recovery community, his voice and his stories will help bring a culture of understanding towards addiction. AND it’s a good read!!!!!

Moderator: Benoit, Congratulations on the warm reception to your book. All the praise is well deserved. You have really helped expand the dialogue of addiction within the community and within the mainstream, something that must happen. Tonight you’re with a crowd that are familiar with addiction, although I don’t know how many of us have read your book. Can you tell us what prompted the idea to write this book?

Benoit Denizet-Lewis: I think it all started with my recovery. I’ve always been fascinated by addiction. By why some people get sober, and others die. By the brain science of addiction. By the ways it affects our society. I also looked around and saw that there really wasn’t a book like mine out there.

Benoit Denizet-Lewis: Not one that looked at other kinds of addictions–food, sex. To me those aren’t very different from addictions to alcohol or drugs.

Moderator: Right, your book covers food, sex, crack, meth, steroids, and alcoholism

Benoit Denizet-Lewis: Yeah, I wanted to look at all of the ways that we numb out or try to escape the reality of the present moment.

Benoit Denizet-Lewis: Plus, the brain science is really showing us that food and sex and gambling affect some people the same way alcohol or drugs affects others.

humble road warrior: Oh! Benoit - I reviewed your book for the site and was interested in how you decided on which addicits you chose and how you approached them.

Benoit Denizet-Lewis: I wanted a good mix of people. I found the sex addict and the bodybuilder through friends and connections, and I found the others through addiction experts and treatment centers.

Benoit Denizet-Lewis: I’m not allowed on craigslist! =) That’s on my bottom line as a sex addict.

humble road warrior: Did you have any people that wouldn’t share their story with you? How long did it take to accumulate the 8 people your finally chose?

Benoit Denizet-Lewis: I started with a bigger number of people and then tried to focus on the ones that seemed the most interesting. It did involve a little bit of guessing, since I wanted to accurately represent addiction and recover. So I didn’t want everyone to struggle all the time or everyone to be doing great.

Benoit Denizet-Lewis: I also wanted people with varying degrees of recovery and sobriety.

Cori_: I’m almost finished your book Benoit, it’s awesome, btw. The one thing I love about your book and what makes it unique is your broad definition of addiction

Cori_: My questions is this….Being a pothead I’ve always found the ’singleness of purpose’ in AA or other 12 steps groups very intimidating and unwelcoming

Cori_: how do you feel about that?

Benoit Denizet-Lewis: Interesting question. I’m not sure. Many sex addicts I know, when they can’t find a sex-addiction 12 step meetings, will go to an AA meeting instead, but they don’t identify as a sex addict and rarely talk about those issues there.
Moderator: i heard you talk about that before

Benoit Denizet-Lewis: I’m not an alcoholic, so I sometimes feel guilty going to AA because I may have a glass of wine after at dinner! =)

Moderator: I suppose there are different definitions of sober among recovery sex addicts. Abstinence for a sex addict isn’t comparable to the alcoholic.Can you talk to us about that?

Benoit Denizet-Lewis: In most sex-addiction 12 step programs, you are allowed to come up with your own bottom line–your own definition of sobriety. Don’t do those behaviors, and you’re considered sober. So, for example…

humble road warrior: My question is this - During the writing of your book, did you keep in regular touch with the subjects, i.e., phone calls, emails, etc and I know the book is very new, but have you kept in touch with any of those people?

Benoit Denizet-Lewis: My bottom line includes using the Internet for any kind of sexual purpose, having anonymous sex, or having phone sex. Someone else’s might be totally different.

Benoit Denizet-Lewis: HRW, yes, and you can read all about their progress in the paperback edition which comes out in January! =)

Moderator: How many people have approached you and said, “I wish you had found me, Benoit?”So, it seems that the common denominator was that all these people where active in recovery, whether or not they relapse, and they had contacted a therapist.

Benoit Denizet-Lewis: Well, some were definitely more active than others. The bisexual bodybuilder addicted to meth and steroids wasn’t going to meetings or therapy. The sex addict varied in his focus on recovery.

humble road warrior: Was it very hard to find a shoplifting addict?

Benoit Denizet-Lewis: No, I CONTACTED AN EXPERT IN SHOPLIFTING ADDICTION AND HE PUT THE WORD OUT THAT I WAS LOOKING FOR SOMEONE. OOps, sorry about the caps. Then from that group I talked to them and figured out who I wanted to follow.

Moderator: Looking at these people through your own lens of addiction must have made some of your work frustrating? Did anyone drive your crazy?

Benoit Denizet-Lewis: Hell yes! =)

Moderator: how did you help them forget that you were a reporter?

Benoit Denizet-Lewis: The heroin addict would disappear for 6 months at a time, and I would have to go looking for him. I related to the denial that a lot of the addicts felt at one point or another. But I also learned so much from them.

humble road warrior: Did you video any of the subjects or just use audio?

Benoit Denizet-Lewis: I think they always remembered that I was hanging out with them for a book, but you can’t hang out with people for so long and not feel a connection to them.

Benoit Denizet-Lewis: I especially felt close to Janice (the crack addict), Sean (the sex addict), and Jody (the gambling and drug addiction counselor who relapsed on his patients pain meds)

Margaux: My husband is a sex addict and I identify as a co-addict, so the parts of your book I found most interesting were those pertaining to sex addiction. Something I noticed in many of the addicts who were addicted to drugs or food or alcohol was that many of them seemed to have sexual issues as well (especially the bodybuilder). Do you feel that sex addiction often comingles with other addictions, and did the other addicts ever say anything about suspicions that they, too, might be sex addicts?

Benoit Denizet-Lewis: Sex addiction definitely co-mingles. There are so many people who come to sex-addiction meetings and say, “I;ve been sober for 15 years in AA, but my life is still unmanageable.”

Benoit Denizet-Lewis: I didn’t video, no. I’m not that high-tech. =)

Benoit Denizet-Lewis: No, the other addicts didn’t really struggle with sex addiction, although the bodybuilder certainly was psychologically addicted to the attention he got from escorting.

Benoit Denizet-Lewis: Sex addiction has so much shame and stigma around it, and experts can’t get any money to really study it.

Moderator: Well, it was really interesting to hear your perspective because I’m trying to educate people about it.

Moderator: Most men think it’s natural and so do hot blooded women.

Benoit Denizet-Lewis: Things are changing. David Duchovny came out as a sex addict, and that was helpful. But it’s still the addiction people like to mock. =)

Moderator: yea. recovery itself is so trendy these days.

Moderator: Did your sex addiction create any stigmas about your body image?

Benoit Denizet-Lewis: I think most humans can relate to being a little crazy around sex at times, but sex addiction is a very different thing.

Margaux: What do you think will lead to a changing perspective on sex addiction?

Margaux: (besides research)

Benoit Denizet-Lewis: More people coming out and talking about it. More science to study it. It’s where alcoholism was in the 1950s.

Moderator: Our culture and lifestyle encourages addiction, obviously.Can you suggest the first thing (policy oriented) our nation could do to start changing that?

Benoit Denizet-Lewis: I’m still getting about a 30-second to 1-minute delay from when I hit enter to when it’s posted.

Moderator: okay sorry.

Benoit Denizet-Lewis: Makes it very frustrating, because it seems like you guys have less of a delay

Moderator: it happens to me too

Moderator: YOU ARE NOT ALONE BENOIT! ;D

Cori_: Try one sentence at a time, it seems to work better

Benoit Denizet-Lewis: Honestly, the only real way that we will see significant changes are if the people who suffer from this disease (all of us) start making enough noise. We’ve been sitting quietly in church basements talking to each other, but it’s time to add to that.

Moderator: i agree

Benoit Denizet-Lewis: =)

Moderator: The title is interesting–what do you think about Anonymous? does Anonymous equal uncounted? Just running this website I’ve been eyewitness to clashing ideologies about Anonymity outside the rooms

Margaux: You mentioned a Million Addict March as a dream you have. Have you made any plans for this or is anyone you know thinking of making it a reality? If so, I would love to participate.

Cori_: Agreed, particularly if you believe in the disease model

Moderator: i’ll be there!

Benoit Denizet-Lewis: How did breast cancer or HIV/AIDS become less stigmatized? How did we start funding reseacrh? The people who suffered from the disease demanded that.

Benoit Denizet-Lewis: No, no plans for this yet. But someone should get on that! =)

Benoit Denizet-Lewis: Anonymous means a lot of things, and I’m glad I got it in the title. I think it’s catcchy. =)

Benoit Denizet-Lewis: Politicians and society at large are not going to suddenly start caring about recovery unless they are pushed to and educated. Untreated addiction is our costliest public health crisis, but we never talk about in that context in this country.

Benoit Denizet-Lewis: When is the last time you heard politicians be asked about addiction or recovery in a presidential debate? Doesn’t happen. They sometimes get a boring question abot the war on drugs.

Cori_: yes, even harm reduction doesn’t get much attention and that could potentially save a lot of tax dollars

Moderator: Addiction=social problems=crime, poverty, health costs.

Cori_: not to mention lives

Moderator: well, It’s safe to say that addiction to drugs, especially legal ones such as nicotine and alcohol, results in incalculable costs and suffering in America.Yet our govt is dependent on those dependencies because it brings in money for the state. Hypocritical, eh?

Benoit Denizet-Lewis: Yup.

Moderator: i mean im quitting smoking, just as the govt raised cig taxes .80 higher in Maine

Benoit Denizet-Lewis: We encourage excess and addiction in this country. Make no mistake about that.

Moderator: They don’t want me to quit

Margaux: I almost feel that if we were to really battle addiction, though, our consumerist society would have to completely change–I think you made that point in your book. It’s almost dangerous to the economy to battle addiction–people would be content with themselves and not feel the need to feel the void with “stuff.”

Jinx: Anybody here a smoker? Ha!

Cori_: Well cigs are $13 a pack here and trust me, people still buy them. I quit Jan 9 this year

Moderator: well this is exactly why your book is very important.

Benoit Denizet-Lewis: Well I hope you will help get the word out about my book! Sadly, Oprah hasn’t called. =)

Moderator: she has to play hard to get for a bit

Benoit Denizet-Lewis: ha

Jinx: I attend a lot of national conferences on substance abuse and a lot of time, it’s just bureaucrats patting themselves on the back - how much is that costing us?

Benoit Denizet-Lewis: LOL, I dunno Jinx.

Cori_: Addiction has been part of the human experience since time began, no?

Moderator: i dont know Cori

Moderator: i would disagree

Jinx: Yep

Cori_: really? hmmmm

Cori_: For me it’s about seeking an external solution to an internal problem

Cori_: how does government address that?

Moderator: one could argue that it just wasnt recorded but i think the different lifestyles of hunter/gather didn’t leave room for addiction

Benoit Denizet-Lewis: I have about 10 more minutes, so hit me with other questions and I can try to answer them in sentences. And yes, addiction is part of the human experience, and it is defined differently in different culture. That just adds to the confusion about addiction.

Benoit Denizet-Lewis: As I like to say, anyone who says they have addiction all figured out is on CRACK

Moderator: LOL

Cori_: lol

Jinx: I’m going to New Jersey to be taped for The Afflicted and Affected this week with Chris Schroeder. He said he just did a show with you. What was he like? He sounds great over the phone….any comments?

Benoit Denizet-Lewis: He’s super nice. You will enjoy it.

Moderator: here are some links if you all want to read some more press:

Moderator: www.americaanonymous.com/press/

Moderator: You’ve been in recovery since 2002. Do you have a sponsor? A particular routine? A homegroup? (don’t have to tell us where)How has your fame affected your recovery? Or better, has it?

Benoit Denizet-Lewis: I have a sponsor and a home group. I’ve been to treatment twice. Like many addicts, I’m an egomaniac with an inferiority complex, so fame is complicated and not always the best thing for my sobriety. But I am hanging in there and doing well these days.

Benoit Denizet-Lewis: I also just starting a new romantic relationship, so wish me luck there! =)

Margaux: Good luck!

Cori_: thanks for being here tonight Benoit

Moderator: Good Luck! You can do it! It will be a whole new path.

Jinx: That’s all that counts

Moderator: Well, Benoit, we could keep you here for hours! Go now while you can! Seriously, thanks so much for hosting. We will spread the word far and wide about your book. Just mention us when you get on Oprah, okay! Again, thanks.

Moderator:

Margaux: Thanks for being here with us, Benoit!

Benoit Denizet-Lewis: Thanks for having me! And I will mention you if she ever calls. =)

Moderator: If anyone is interested: Benoit’s website:http://www.americaanonymous.com/

(04/5 08:59 PM) Margaux: I learned a lot.

(04/5 09:00 PM) Moderator: Me too.

(04/5 09:00 PM) Benoit Denizet-Lewis: Thanks everyone. Good night.

(04/5 09:00 PM) Moderator: Good night!