Other People Have Higher Powers Too
Feb 23, 09- (by Mama MPJ)
- 7 responses
- Family and Friends, Sober Salon
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My husband and I go out regularly without our children, but until recently we had never been away overnight. Difficulties with sleep are common among children with autism, and my son has only just (at age seven) settled into something like a reliable sleep pattern. So, a few months ago, we decided to try having a friend stay over for just one night while we went to dinner and stayed at the closest hotel we could find. I was less nervous about the kids than I was about my friend.
I thought she seemed stressed and anxious, as if she didn’t feel up to the task, but also didn’t want to say no and let us down. My anxiety rose with the perceived rise in her anxiety, and by the time Mark and I left the house, we were all snapping at each other. When we got to the restaurant, I was near tears. As in so many relationships in my life, I didn’t trust my friend to be honest with me about her needs. Yet I felt it was my job to figure out what she wanted and needed and take care of her, like a good friend should. And I worried that if I got the answer wrong — tried to help her when she really didn’t need it or didn’t help her when I was supposed to know she did — that she’d be angry and resentful.
We sat at the bar waiting for a table, and Mark listened to me spill out all my anxiety and fear. When I finished, he said, “You know, I get stuck in that place a lot myself, and when I do, it helps me to remember that other people have Higher Powers too.” With those words, a weight lifted, and I was able to give my friend over to her Higher Power. And when we arrived home early the next morning, everyone was still sleeping peacefully.
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I spent $28,000.00 to learn that! Well, that and a few other things, but still!
Ha! GentlePath, I guess I owe my husband $28K now!
Oh, lord, I did that with my husband ALL THE TIME. Whenever he was moody and brooding, I had to try to figure out what to do to make it all better. It’s funny that I’ve only been separated for him for a few months and it seems so ridiculous to me now when I think about how I did that. But when you’re in the middle of a situation like that, it’s hard to really see what you’re doing.
Glad to know I’m not the only ‘control freak’ around here. Or is it more that we’re ‘fix its’? Any which way, I’m glad you managed to swing a night out after 7 years. You’d think with all the surplus bodies around here we’d manage to do likewise but as yet……want to stick some of that ‘higher power’ stuff in a enveloppe and wing it over my way?
Cheers
There’s a neat, new layer to “letting go, and letting God”, eh?
So did things turn out good?? I wish someone would take my kids (even for a few hours)…but hey, we can’t have it all, can we! LOL.
Yep, kristi. Everything turned out fine.