Please Remove It.
Feb 13, 09- (by JunkysWife)
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- Family and Friends, Sober Salon
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I wish for a surgery to remove my love for my husband. I wish to have it beaten out of me or zapped with chemicals, radiation. I wish I could have my heart bypassed, or shrunken up to a tiny little corner of its former self, removing my desire for him.
I want a way out, or a way through. I want it now, badly.
I have gone out of town to get a little break from the teeming chaos of living with him. He is mad. He’s spending a lot of time inside his own head, and it’s hard to be around him. He prays a lot, so the crazy ideas he comes up with seem to him to be endorsed by God.
I wish he’d go to meetings. He’s sliding back to that place where he won’t go. He insists he’s still going to meetings, although he hasn’t been to one in over a week.
He needs interaction with other people. It’s not mine. I wish it could be mine, because I could handle it better.
I wonder if I’ll ever fulfill the first step, where I truly let go of him.
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