“We admitted we were powerless over drugs/alcohol—that our lives had become unmanageable.”

Seem familiar? Seem intriguing?
Seems like we all have something to say about this, after all, it is the First Step we make in our recovery.

Join us tonight, at 8pm EST, for a discussion of the First Step.

Awareness. Acceptance. Action. The triple A’s.
AAA on The Second Road. 24/7.
But on Sundays, we have a driver– a host.

This week Chris Mecham will be our host. He was one of the first bloggers here at TSR. He also chronicles his recovery journey at http://thelastchancetexaco.com/

Chris brings a lot of smiles into my life, and…

Obama said that he would end medical marijuana raids, so this story is getting some attention on the internet.

As I’ve said before, I’m not a medical marijuana alarmist and I don’t think this is a good use of resources, but this continues to feel like an incredibly phony issue.

Here are some reviews of the “medical marijuana dispensary:

Veronica G. says “With the price of gas nowadays, not everyone can make the drive up to SF from the Peninsula. Cheers to a large healthy rotating selection that can please even some of the most descerning of medicators* (or at least raise an eyebrow or two).…

I’ve been thinking a lot about humility lately. I’m not sure why. Nothing special going on that I know of…just thinking, I guess. Perhaps it’s because I’m in the midst of sponsoring my first 4th step. Worried that I’m not giving the right direction to my sponsee. Worried that I’m forgetting important things, even though all the directions I need are right there in the Big Book. I’m not sure why this brings about thoughts of humility… Perhaps it’s the fact that I feel I’m “holding” another human’s sobriety gently in my hands. It’s a big responsibility. It’s humbling.

Maybe I’m thinking about…

what do you do

when you see that one

whom your heart aches for a great deal

whom you want to take

and comfort yet shake

give them something to get them to heal

for i know where you were

and where you could be

since you started from same point as me????

it hurts so much

to see you as such

that i turn away feeling empty

every time i see you

you bring tears to my eye

i’ve decided

the best is to hide

from you, your life

it hurts too much

to see nothing change

while at straws i clutch

and i wonder if joy

is in your life

what thoughts you have

when you close your eyes

do waking moments

mean…

I’m meant to write a gratitude list. Actually, I was meant to write it yesterday, but I was too pissed off to be grateful for anything. I realize that I rejected the cure and embraced the sickness by putting it off…but anyway, I’m going to do it now. My sponsor recommended that I write 5 things I’m grateful for about my husband and 5 things I’m grateful for about my life. So here they are:

I am grateful for my husband’s recovery. He’s working pretty hard, and when he’s doing it, he’s doing it well.

I am grateful for my husband’s lovely…

It’s a funny relationship.

I remember being about ten and sitting on the sofa watching a baseball game with my father.  I never saw him sit and watch a game with a beer in his hand before.  If anything, we drink seltzer or ginger ale.  Maybe Coke of Fresca.  But that day he had a beer in his hand and he passed it over to me and said, “Do you want to taste it?”

Now you have to understand.  If we drink anything, or eat anything in our family, it is unthinkable not to share.  And in Europe they drank beer when they couldn’t trust the water, so…

Accurate Native history is critical to sobriety and recovery, program finds

The Drug Capitals Of America

Responsibility and Choice in Addiction

Technology improves treatment options for drug users

This is not news, but there’s no reason to fear treating pain patients with opiates. Few pain patients develop problems with the drugs.

However, I’d add two side concerns that could/should be addressed in ways that do not result in inadequate pain treatment.

First, diversion is a huge problem. 12% of 18 to 25 year olds reported nonmedical use of pain relievers in the last year. This problem could be addressed without depriving patients of treatment.

Second, physicians need to be educated about addiction. I can’t tell you how many clients have gone to the ER for minor injuries and were prescribed Vicodin even after…

Rowdy Yates makes some provocative points about cognitive impairment associated with methadone, methadone’s legal status and it’s social purpose (treatment vs. social control).

Enjoy.

They are effective at reducing alcohol related problems.

What’s holding us back? These discussions get bogged down in “nanny state” and other libertarian arguments, but we never talk about how much our culture values alcohol. Certainly, that plays as much of a role as the philosophical political arguments. That never enters the conversation. Why?

[hat tip: Lawrence at Second Road]

Etta at Second Road posted a great question:

What if there were an alcoholic gene? Anyone who had this gene was sure to be an alcoholic. What if you were informed your child had it?  What would you think? What would you do?

I’ve thought a lot about it and my son is now 2 years younger than I was when I took my first drink.

Clearly, there isn’t one gene that causes it. More likely there are
multiple genes that contribute to the risk of developing an addiction.

In spite of giving it a lot of thought, I haven’t come up with a whole lot.

• I’ll…

Four years ago, I was sitting in a 12 Step meeting when the secretary announced available service positions. “Would anyone like to be secretary? Please,” she said, sounding a little desperate, “It’s really not much work. You just come in and read the script.” The room went silent and I felt the way I did in school when the teacher would ask a question that I sort of knew the answer to, something I didn’t feel entirely comfortable answering but would if I had to. Every silent moment was torture: my need to take care of the rest of the…

What if there were an alcoholic gene? Anyone who had this gene was sure to be an alcoholic. What if you were informed your child had it?  What would you think? What would you do? 

A new study suggests that increasing taxes on alcohol actually reduces the amount of drinking that people do:

Evidence is “statistically overwhelming” that communities can reduce alcohol consumption by raising alcohol taxes, according to a report from University of Florida researcher Alexander C. Wagenaar and colleagues.

The New York Times reported Jan. 20 that a review of 110 previously published studies concluded that higher taxes tended to reduce drinking among social drinkers and problem drinkers, teens and adults.

Your thoughts?

I feel like I’m in a strange place in my recovery lately. I haven’t had any urges to drink. Not in a very long while. I’ve been told that’s when I ought to watch out. I’ve been told constant vigilance should be my mantra. I’ve heard my disease is out to get me and one of its best tricks is that it pretends it doesn’t exist.

I’ve been pressing at the edges of boundaries that I used to stay far away from, encouraged by my growth in the last three years of sobriety. I am not without fear or discomfort,…

Did you know that acetaminophen is used in an effort to control the brown snake population in Guam? All it takes is one mouse stuffed with 80mg of acetaminophen; a pretty desirable remedy in Guam where they spend upwards of 1 million to control the invasive species.

Me either.

Not until I wound up in a hospital in Jackson, MS, caring for my father–who will soon meet his demise from acute liver failure. The source? Tylenol.

Don’t worry, that’s about as personal as this blog gets.
Now, to kill a human it takes a little bit more than 80g. In my father’s case, he was…

I don’t remember having so many days off of school when I was a youth.

Then again, I don’t remember much of my youth.

Will they ever go back to school?

I had an 8:30 AM client at…

As he walks in the door I can’t help but exclaim, “I was just asked to write for Second Road”.  He gives me a hug and says, “That’s awesome..”. Then he looks at my face, “What’s that look?”. “It was suggested my first post be an introductory…” raising an eyebrow. We both know how well I do in that arena. When it comes to writing, there is a simple flow of thoughts to fingers, onto the page before me. Introducing myself…brings out hesitation, a reminder of my first AA meeting, or the lone aspect of my personality. I spent a lifetime avoiding people,…

A study suggests that Moderation Management may work for people with “less severe dependence”. I’d like to see them flesh out what “less severe” means. Technorati Tags: research, mutual_aid

I think that many times I’ve put too much store in the fantasy of what I think friendship and even love “should” be. I’ve been around people that I’ve wanted to impress and have worked hard to do so. And I’ve been around people who I’ve never had to say a word to, yet felt so comfortable and warm in their presence, as if we’ve had the best conversation ever.

Here are some other truisms that I’ve found about friendship and love:

Sometimes we let someone go whose value we don’t know until they’re gone.
But we often don’t know what we’ve been…

Addicted physicians have terrific recovery rates. We know what works. Why does this two tiered approach to treatment and recovery support persist?

Abstract - A sample of 904 physicians consecutively admitted to 16 state Physicians’ Health Programs (PHPs) was studied for 5 years or longer to characterize the outcomes of this episode of care and to explore the elements of these programs that could improve the care of other addicted populations. The study consisted of two phases: the first characterized the PHPs and their system of care management, while the second described the outcomes of the study sample as revealed in…

There have been some unbearable times in my life. The death of a loved one has tested my strength so many times. When I am experiencing the grieving process, I turn to God, my higher power. I pray He will see me through the very dark days and unbearably, lonesome nights. He usually responds by giving me the courage and strength to steady my walk through the rugged path. He tells me the days and nights will become easier to tolerate. He gives me hope.

Sometimes I never asked for God’s advice. I have been angry with Him. I have dismissed…

I was naked today, standing there exposed in that cold court room with its cement floors and brick walls, everything was hard as if to tell me of what was to come. My son held the door open for me as we entered the juvenile court room when his name was called, after waiting and anticipating this moment for three hours; our time had arrived. He lowered his head slightly, looked up briefly towards the judge, the lawyers with his big brown puppy dog eyes and he seemed somehow smaller to me, younger more vulnerable. That made me want to…

Eek. Talk to your sponsor before you look at this.

I suspect that there is little to this, but whenever I see anything like this I am reminded of a talk by Bill White on drug trends. He closed by saying something like, “I can’t tell you what the major drugs of abuse of tomorrow will be, but I can tell you that they are already here, and that they will become a problem when someone develops new ways to use them.”

Not good:

Overall, drug testing was accompanied by an increase in some risk
factors for future substance use. More research is needed before random
drug and alcohol testing is considered an effective deterrent for
school-based athletes.

From the new White House website:

• Reduce Crime Recidivism by Providing Ex-Offender Support: President Obama and Vice President Biden will provide job training, substance abuse and mental health counseling to ex-offenders, so that they are successfully re-integrated into society. Obama and Biden will also create a prison-to-work incentive program to improve ex-offender employment and job retention rates.
• Eliminate Sentencing Disparities: President Obama and Vice President Biden believe the disparity between sentencing crack and powder-based cocaine is wrong and should be completely eliminated.
• Expand Use of Drug Courts: President Obama and Vice President Biden will give first-time, non-violent offenders a chance to serve their sentence, where appropriate,…

She asked us, “What if you said YES to everything? What if, instead of taking yourself out by saying, ‘I can’t,’ you kept yourself connected by saying, ‘I can, or at least I’ll try?’” We were in the midst of a very difficult balancing pose at the time. Our forever hopeful, helpful, and happy yoga instructor was coolly pacing about the room of sixty sweaty, breathy bodies. She was encouraging, cajoling, and inquiring as she passed. “What if you said yes to everything?” And I thought, “Hmmmm…what if?”

What if I said yes to everything? What would happen? Or as our…

At my home group last night, one of the members said that something had to be done in her marriage to the alcoholic. She has come to the realization that she is no longer herself and that the self that she knew has just about disappeared. Her pain was palpable.

We talked in the meeting about how difficult it is to reach out when you’re in a relationship with an alcoholic. I hid my pain from others. I pretended to be okay but was also losing myself. In fact, I didn’t really much care about anything anymore. I didn’t think that…

Friday night AlAnon is squeezed into the back hall of a church, between the entrance and the meeting room where the AA’s go. We sit at a large table just inside the door. Every time an AAer comes in late, or leaves to go outside and smoke (or something), we get a blast of cold air from the outside. Friday night the temperature was 3 degrees. We came dressed for a cold meeting; we’ve been through this.

In the back of the Courage to Change reader are page numbers of daily readings that relate to each step. The man next to…

My Aunt went on a safari in Africa, one of her annual luxury vacations. Her photos capture the journey of 12 great friends, exploring exotic lands far, far away from Alabama. Apparently, when my Aunt was there, she thought of me.

Selfishly, I recall the date because she went to Africa just as I was graduating college.

I definitely felt accomplished enough to be whisked away on a safari to Africa.

But all I received was a souvenir. An Egg.
A lousy ostrich egg.

And now I’m confronting The Egg and all it has represented to me.

It has irritated me for years. In the most…