When I was in high school, some friends and I did a group project for English class where we put on a short play. We needed confetti for one scene, and we all agreed to split the work by each making a little sandwich bag’s worth of it. Of course, my confetti had to be perfectly round, hole-punched little dots, rather than torn paper, like the other kids made. And I had to make extra, because there would certainly be a few folks who would forget or just not want to do it.

Yes, it was my (self-imposed) job to make sure that, even if I had to do all the work myself, the project was done to my perfect standards and completed on time. After all, I was (as I told myself in a way that was both grumbling and proud) the responsible one. I remember sitting in my bedroom, with construction paper in one hand and a hole punch in the other, making dot after tiny dot of confetti until my hand ached. I spent so much time squeezing that hole punch that I actually lost feeling in my thumb and didn’t regain it until several weeks after. But our presentation was perfect, down the the confetti, and our group got an A+.

When I was working a corporate job (back in my pre-kids life), I worked for years doing tasks that were deadline driven. I would be handed a project, turn it around and have it done on time, every time. If I said something would be done, it would be done. And I did the equivalent of punching too much perfectly round confetti to get there; I would get tense, skip meals and work late or on weekends to get the job done. But my ability to do high quality work on a deadline earned me promotions, bonuses and excellent recommendations for other jobs.

So, it was no surprise that someone I’ve been doing some freelance work for recently dropped me an e-mail to thank me for always getting the job done, no matter what. And I thought, yep, that’s me. I’m working on gaining a better balance in my life, but I am still sickeningly dependable when it comes to my work, sometimes to my own detriment. In fact, you could say I’m codependently dependable. And then I realized… Oh no! I’m…

CODEPENDABLE!

Now not only am I working on it, but it also makes me giggle.