Crazy. Surrounded by Crazy.
Nov 26, 08- (by JunkysWife)
- 9 responses
- Family and Friends, Sober Salon
I went to visit my husband tonight at the psychiatric hospital. It was good to see him, and he seems ok. They are dosing him with methadone, and they insist that they can’t not. Apparently, there is a federal law that mandates a patient who is receiving methadone maintenance continue to receive his or her dose if that person is kept away from the clinic; however, this same law doesn’t protect patients who are indigent from being cut off by the methadone clinic when they can’t pay.
I am almost impressed by the elegance of the Catch 22s my husband is facing. He’s too much of a drug addict for rehab. He can’t go to rehab until he can detox, and he can’t get into detox because he’s on too many drugs. He shouldn’t detox alone, but there’s no help. He should go back on methadone, but there’s no money. Then, it got tricky with the involuntary commitment…he couldn’t be willing to seek help, or the commitment wasn’t involuntary enough…we had to play like he was no longer willing, even though he’d been very willing all day long. Then, because he wasn’t willing, people told me there was no reason for him to get help because it wouldn’t work if he wasn’t willing to get help.
He isn’t sure how long they are going to keep him, and he is afraid of what will happen next. I am also afraid. I want him to come home, but he can’t come home like he was before. I realize that he’s been through something, and he seems to have reached a crossroads. I hope he goes the right way, but his judgment has never been good at previous moments where he’s had big choices. He’s promising all kinds of things right now, including doing 90 meetings in 90 days when he gets out.
I need to work on my boundaries in the meantime to get clear on what I can live with. I know first of all that I can’t live with anything illegal, and I am beginning to recognize that I can’t live with him without him having a program. I am not clear, though, on what my boundary would be around a program, and I have to get clear about it before I can make a decision.
I’m glad it’s time for a little vacation. I’m going to visit relatives out of town for a few days, which will be great because I’ll have a little break to get some clarity.
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Hugs to you, JW. That sounds frustrating and hectic. I hope you enjoy your family-time, and get some much-needed mental decompression!
Can he get on SSI disability because of his addiction/mental health issues? Then he could get medicaid, which pays for rehab. I know it’s different from state to state, but maybe it’s worth looking into?
Being a veteran of the mental-health system, I can’t say I’m suprised about what you guys are being put through right now. I’m so sorry that you have to go through this, but at the same time I’m really inspired by how centered you sound. You are amazing.
I saw this title and thought how odd it was, because it was exactly what I’ve been composing in my head. Then I saw it was yours. I think I’ll have to slash your tires for using it first. This IS all about me, you know!
You really are doing amazingly well around all of the crazy. As I told your husband last week, he gives new meaning to the joke, “just because you’re paranoid doesn’t mean they’re not really out to get you.” Sending powerful white light mojo in both of your directions.
Dear, dear JW,
What a thing to go through. It gives a whole new meaning to getting caught in the system.
I think about how much you love and what you have gone through in the name of your love. It is always worth it. What an inspiration you are. Both of you.
I think that getting away will be good for you. May getting clarity be like soaring on the thermals as do the eagles, may you be able to observe the entire picture as it truly is.
I am sending you much love and light. May guidance come to you easily, may this develop into a fully finished perfect picture.
N
sending you all our love. having been through the mental health system, i hope he gets the right people assigned to him.
Kicking an addiction is such a hard thing to do. It’s ridiculously harder when the addict has to deal with this kind of cold, impersonal, catch 22 crap.
I am keeping both of you in my thoughts.
The mental health system is truly crazy. So glad he is getting some formal help and you a formal break.
Thank God He has helped you both to work through the insane bull**it that you did. It is SO maddening the amount of craziness someone has put into place, in order to….? What? Protect someone?? Helping certainly isn’t on their aganda.
I am Thankful for you and your determination, and that even when we can’t see, there are angels guiding us.
The whole addiction issue and trying to find help is really frustrating. I’ve been going through it myself for years. First trying suboxone and now trying to get off my methadone and it sucks. It seems impossible to find the right help because honestly I’m not sure if it is out there. The best success I’ve had is to help myself. All the power to you guys, I hope you find your way out.