It’s not the same as giving up…
Oct 28, 08- (by Diary of a Quitter)
- one response
- Mind, Body, Spirit, Sober Salon
Email This Post
The new, slow pace of my life has changed my focus and deepened my appreciation for all the clear, simple moments which I arrive at each day. The carpet of new-fallen leaves covering the path in the park, a hug from my daughter at the bus stop, her face in the window as the bus pulls away around the corner, the flurry of finches wings in the Japanese maple tree in our back yard.
Tonight I saved my energy to cook for my family. I’ve been getting better at the kind of cooking where you wing it - fixing a tasty meal from whatever happens to be on hand. I spiked the casserole with lots of veggies, the reds and greens and yellow glowing on the cutting board; mixing together like confetti in the pan. I took my time with the dicing, honing my knife skills, losing myself in the repetition, the sight, the smells.
I am begining to see some value in the lessons I’m being taught by my somewhat diminished existence. I’m learning to work within the limitations of my body, it’s pain and fatigue. But I still struggle with the difference between acceptance and giving up. I feel at some level that I have to fight against the fibormyalgia, my depression, my addiction, even while I recognize that the fight is both exhausting and pointless.
Acceptance doesn’t mean giving up though. It just means acknowledging what is, and chosing not to bash your head against it repeatedly looking for some way out of reality. I know this with my head, and slowly the knowledge is making its way to my heart. Every day that I treat myself kindly, accepting my abilities for what they are right now, I work this lesson deeper into my being. Eventually it will become natural, I hope.
Related articles:
Stumble it! 
Delicious Facebook
Respond now.
Previous post: « Retired drug dogs can be rented by the hour
Next post: Word for the Day - 10/28/08 »
The fight against your fibromyalgia, depression and addiction may be exhausting, but they are NEVER pointless. They are real, positive aspects of your journey and you should be very proud of them. Now get back to chopping those glorious vegetbles!