Dinner Drama.
Oct 26, 08- (by JunkysWife)
- one response
- Family and Friends, Sober Salon
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We went to his parents’ house to have dinner tonight. It’s the first time I’ve been around them in a while. I didn’t deliberately decide to stop hanging out with his folks…it just kind of happened. I’ve been working like crazy since last May, which is around when I stopped spending as much time with them. Once it happened, however, I recognized that there was a significant drop in the drama factor in my life. His mother and father are both addicts, and so engaging with them is exhausting.
His mother and father have both made little remarks to let me know that they’re not happy with my distancing myself from them. I’ve tried to respond honestly. I told his mother that I’m really busy, but also that it hurts me to engage with folks who I love and who lie to me. She said she understood.
Tonight, though, my husband’s sister filled me in on some of the family gossip. His mother and father are outraged that I’ve asked him to leave a few times, as they believe that he’s been working regularly and giving me money. He has been lying to them (of course), and it bugs me that they believe his lies. It bugs me more that it bugs me.
These people are liars and manipulators. They are fun, creative people, and I love them, but they are active addicts. Why in the world am I concerned with whether or not they like me? Why I’m I worrying about whether or not they think I’m being a good wife to their son? I know I’m a good wife and a good woman, and I’ve been very good to him through some ugly times. If I know these things are true, why does it stick in my chest so painfully that they don’t?
I think what hurts most is knowing that my husband portrays me negatively to so many people. His disease won’t let him see my strength as growth. He sees it as coldness towards him, and in many ways it is. My disease makes me want to be recognized and appreciated for the hard work I’m doing, and I don’t like it that I can’t have both.
I’m glad dinner’s over, and I hope I won’t have a visit with the in-laws for a while. It was a nice dinner, and I love these people very much. It’s just so exhausting.
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The lies my husband told about me, the way he portrayed me to the world in order to indulge in his addiction, all of that still hurts more than anything else for me. Bleh. I’m still working on letting go of what other people (especially other crazy people) think of me.