For the Birds
Oct 25, 08- (by Mama MPJ)
- 6 responses
- Family and Friends, Sober Salon
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I was out walking with my daughter today, and she wanted to feed the birds. She didn’t want to feed the birds breadcrumbs or birdseed though; she wanted to feed them berries and acorns and pinecones we found along the way: things they could presumably just fly on down and eat if they wanted to. But not trusting them to pluck or find what they needed, she decided to pick these delicacies for them and pile them on the sidewalk where they would be easy to find.
When I was about her age, I lived near a field of tall grass with a little creek and a few small trees. I used to collect the grass and twigs and make little nests out of them and place each one carefully up in the trees. And like my daughter, I left offerings of readily available food as housewarming gifts. In spite of my mother’s gentle warnings that birds liked making their own nests, I would dream of how happy the birds would be in the nests I’d made for them and would go back frequently to check and see if any of them had moved in. No birds ever did. I spent a lot of time and energy crafting homes that was much less suited to a bird’s needs than what a bird could make itself. I couldn’t see that the birds were better equipped to take care of themselves than I was to take care of them.
And it occurred to me, as I walked with my daughter today, that I take that helping impulse into relationships with more than just birds. I’ve taken it into my marriage, into friendships, into previous romantic relationships, into relationships with relatives. I’ve spent a lot of time and energy in my life crafting assistance that was much less suited to other people’s needs than what those people could do for themselves. And I couldn’t always see that those folks were ultimately better equipped to take care of themselves than I was to take care of them.
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This post hits me right between the eyes. Wow.
Knock out punch. Right in the kisser.
I keep hooking up with birds who want me to feed them, and eventually I get resentful because the birds never feed me.
mama mara, we need some of those Disney Cinderella birds that flutter around and sing us awake and make ball gowns for us and help with the chores!
Yeah, I do that too.
This resonates so much that I’m amazed that I hadn’t thought of this myself. Wow. But I like that your daughter did the same thing you did. Though it may be a behavior that you wouldn’t want to take to extreme, it is a very caring thing to do and I find the “like mama, like daughter” thing to be sweet.