There is a Sunday morning meeting in my community that is very popular and that, being like I am, I haven’t attended in many months. But I didn’t have to work today, and I was up this morning, and I thought maybe I’d go.  So I got on my scooter at a quarter to 11 and headed over to the Sunday Spiritual Meeting, only to find that it started at 10.

That’s fiine. Really, I should be doing laundry anyway.  But on my way home I stopped at my favorite coffee house for an iced mocha and ran into someone from…

So here I go again…revealing my life to you in hopes that this time I won’t have to write about getting dumped in my next post. Yup, that’s right. I went on a date…again. This dating thing, while exciting, kind of sucks to tell you the truth. I’m too old for this!
I’m too old to get all pretty, hoping to convince a stranger that I’m worth a look. I’m too old to pretend to be interested in uninteresting topics in order to keep a conversation going. I’m too old to smile too much, laugh too long, and stand too tall–whew,…

I have discovered that there is one room in every house that is the nexus of both the spiritual and the corporeal, of cleanliness and filth, of addiction and recovery. That room is the bathroom. Yes, the bathroom.

My husband and I were remarking tonight that at 5 and 7, our children already understand that the bathroom is where you go when you want to be alone. As the only room in the house where a person can feel free to lock the door and spend an extend period in absolute unquestioned privacy, bathrooms are where we become literally and figuratively…

Our family adopted a dog last night, who came with the name Sammy. We decided to call her Sammy Smith, an apt explorers name to compliment our other dog’s name, Marco Polo.

Sammy is an adorable mutt, a unique little hybrid between dachsund and mini pinscher with a painted face. The family here consists of me, my partner and a nine year old that I’m gonna call Lil C.  After some discussion we had decided that Marco could benefit from a canine sidekick, and that we could all handle the added responsibility.

Well, Sammy is gone already. So much for being great…

“The primary fact that we fail to recognize is our total inability to form a true partnership with another human being. Our egomania digs two disastrous pitfalls. Either we insist upon dominating the people we know, or we depend upon them far too much. If we lean too heavily on people, they will sooner or later fail us, for they are human, too, and cannot possibly meet our incessant demands. In this way our insecurity grows and festers. When we habitually try to manipulate others to our own willful desires, they revolt, and resist us heavily. Then we develop hurt…

I remember watching TV when I was about seven or eight and seeing what must have been an after school special in which a character stopped drinking alcohol and got “the DTs.” His eyes bulged in panic as he tried to swat invisible bugs from his arms. I couldn’t figure out what he was doing, and it made me anxious. My father explained that when people drink a lot for a long time and then stop suddenly, they can have hallucinations. And that was my first lesson in withdrawal (see, who said TV doesn’t teach you anything).

When my husband went…

It’s been dark and rainy and dreary where I live. On the other hand, we haven’t had rain since the 4th of July and the earth is soaking it up like a thirsty sponge.

My son has been driving me crazy to buy an iphone. On the other hand, he’s the best kid ever.

My house is filthy. On the other hand, I have a house.

I’ve had more stress in my life than I can handle. On the other hand, who hasn’t?

I’m broke. On the other hand, as of today, my bills are all paid.

Someone I care about relapsed again. On the…

by William Cope Moyers

There is more to addiction than meets the eye.

And to understand how to overcome it often means looking beyond what can be seen readily.

No wonder stigma cloaks the truth about addiction and confusion muddles how to appreciate successful recovery.

Dear Mr. Moyers: Why do you think it is that many addicts seem to have charming personalities that make them so engaging to others? My sister had us all in the palm of her hand. She was a beauty queen, the most popular senior in high school, had boyfriends galore and then a wonderful husband — and all of…

Allen Berger, Ph.D.

Psychologist and Author of 12 Stupid Things that Mess Up Recovery

In this article I want to discuss how our culture sets us up for becoming an addict. Before I do it’s important to realize we are all in a trance. We are hypnotized by our culture. This is not necessarily a bad thing, it just is the way things are. It happens in every culture, It has to.

Culture is transmitted through the family. Parents teach children their culture’s world view. This world view is like a filter, it defines what is real and what isn’t, it proscribes…

Last night was really a fantastic DA meeting. It didn’t start off that way. Someone shared at the top of the meeting about one of the things that every consumer goes through but that are problematic for people who spend to change how they feel; the get rich in real estate seminar. Pretty powerful stuff. Other people shared the “opportunities” they had nearly fallen victim to during the week.

It came my time to share and I shared that I had been presented with a real estate opportunity myself; not the “Rich Dad, Poor Dad” workshop my friend bought (then returned),…

My mind races. Often it races at the same brick wall again and again.

I was sitting down at the computer earlier trying to compose a post about something I’m working through in my recovery. My mind was spinning and spinning on the topic, but the right words wouldn’t come. I have learned when that happens that I need to leave that topic and come back to it, but I was feeling like an animal trapped in a cage, desperate. “I have less than half an hour until I have to pick Baby Girl up from school. I have to write something today…

Last night, I listened to a parent talk about anxiety. This wasn’t your usual garden-variety form of hand wringing but a gut-wrenching anxiety that hits in the night and lasts until dawn. The question to the group was “What do you do to alleviate anxiety?” I thought back to those many nights that I would lie awake worrying about my work and the things that I had to do, worrying about my SO and what was going to happen to us, and worrying about my mother who had severe depression. Sometimes I would eventually fall asleep but mostly I would…

My husband said something stupid this morning. He made a joke about the sexual abuse I experienced as a child. It was hilarious. Totally.

As soon as he launched the words from his lips, he knew he’d crossed a line. I can’t talk about this stuff very well. In my life, I’ve shared the details of this experience with my husband, my sponsor, and a few dear friends. It’s not a funny story, and it’s not something I’m real comfortable engaging. It hurt me.

One thing that was pleasantly distracting, however, from the pain I was feeling was to observe my husband’s…

the problem with revealing my life to all of you
is when things go badly,
i must reveal that too.

i had a date.
the date went well.
we liked each other a lot.
he thought I, and I thought him
to be quite swell.

plans were made
to see each other again.
and the very next day
more plans were made,
so we might see one another
sooner than planned before.

but when tomorrow came
something suddenly interfered
and the plan was cancelled.
no big deal,
or so I thought.

until,
“i’ll call you back in 5 minutes.”
went totally unfulfilled.
my concern was piqued,
as the phone sat silent
cruelly taunting me.

i’m being too sensitive, i thought.
until…

“i’ve moved on so i must…

I have the day off.  Whe I have the day off I like to get up slowly, stretching, praying, before I ever get vertical.

When I allow my self to get up slowly the liklihood of having intuitive, meaningful, and useful inspiration to guide me through the day. Today I had that experience, drives me crazy when this happens, of realizing a deeper meaning of one of those things we say all the time:

Don’t make too hard a work out of a simple matter.

Which is exactly what I’ve been doing. Recovering addicts and alcoholics everywhere, from every walk of life, no…

I’ve been talking with my sponsor about the great peacefulness that I’ve been feeling. It is lasting for days now instead of just a few hours that I used to have. My sponsor thinks that the peaceful feeling is due to acceptance and my willingness in the program. So I thought that I’d post some things that I think are indicative of recovery. I’m sure that most of you can think of many more. Just add them if you want to.

You know that you’re recovering when:

1. You get up in the morning and actually look forward to the day

2. You…

As China readied itself for the Olympics, many funny translations began popping up around the country. I particularly liked this one.

We’ll see you after we land, Grandpa!

I last wrote about the Montana Meth Project. While surfing the internet tonight I came across a great blog entry about it. Seems like Montana is actually Big Meth Country….

The blog tells the story of how a rich man made a wise investment! I think the government should direct it’s War on Drugs (Caesar would be embarrassed) money into pro-active campaigns like this one, but bless the independent investor who took it on instead!

A snapshot of article below, but visit methman for the full picture.

“The day that meth walked into our house was the day our life took a spiral,” she…