by Dr. Allen Berger

What is recovery? Here are a few thoughts for you to consider. I see recovery as doing two things: first it helps us break the bonds of our addiction and secondly it helps us recover our lost, true self. Another way of saying it is that it helps us mature. Let’s discuss this further.

For many years, mental health professions tried to help their alcoholic or addicted patients by focusing on the underlying causes of their problem. Their thinking was something like this, “if I help a person resolve the underlying causes of their addiction they will no longer be addicted and able to drink or use other drugs socially.” This approach failed miserably, as did other approaches that tried to teach a person to drink in moderation. Today we understand why.

Neuroscientists have validated something the founders of AA intuitively understood about alcoholism, that we “are like men who have lost their legs, we will never grow new ones.” The addict’s brain changes during the process of addiction and is no longer able to regulate the use of alcohol or other drugs. This change is irreversible, once an addict always an addict.

Treating an addict without the direct treatment of the addiction won’t work. It didn’t work back then and it won’t work now. There is no easier softer way.

The recovery of our true self is a consequence of working the 12 Steps. Bill W. described recovery as a spiritual experience pedestal of hopelessness. The 12 Steps systematically and methodically create a spiritual experience by shattering our reliance on our “false-self.”

Our false-self is our idealized self. This false self is the solution to a very basic problem. We all want to be loved and accepted. In fact we all have a basic fear or anxiety that we won’t. This basic anxiety must be resolved. To resolve it we construct an idealized image of who we need to be in order to be loved and accepted. The type of personality that we develop as a solution is shaped by an interaction of several different factors: our family dynamics, our biological constitution and our culture.

Typically personalities evolve along three different vectors: the appeal of freedom, the appeal of love, and the appeal of mastery. I will address these in more detail in a future article, for now I want to make the point that the solution alienates us from our true, spiritual self. We try to be something we are not. It’s no wonder that most of us are afraid they are going to found out to be a phony, because we are.

The 12 Steps systematically dismantle this false solution and help us recover our lost, true, spiritual self. Another way of saying this is that in recovery we recover the ground we missed in our personal development. We are warned in the Big Book that until we let go of our old ideas the result will be nil. We need to let go of this false self in order to find our true self. We need to build life on what is real, not on misconceptions and myths. Recovery is about becoming authentic, about actualizing our true self,

What happens during recovery is similar to what happens during an initiation rite. Initiation rites were developed to assist in the transition from one state to another in a culture. The most common initiation rites involved transforming boys into men.

There are four basic processes that occur during this process: purging, illumination, integration and uniting. Let me briefly describe each.

A male initiation process starts with purging the boy of his childish ego. During the initiation process the boy is challenged with experiences that force him to face his childish ego and reach for something much greater. The boy needs to face the reality that his childish way of looking at the world won’t work if he is to become a man. Boys are scared, disoriented, challenged and often physically wounded and scarred. They are stressed beyond normal limits. The message is that life is difficult, that’s the way it is. Their scars are a constant reminder of this fact.

Life is not easy like the childish ego wants it to be. While the boy is being purged of his childish ego he is also being educated by wise elders. He is taught what it means to be a man, and his place in the world is also illuminated through there teachings. He comes to realize that he is not that important. He is right sized, letting go of the ego centeredness of a child. He realizes that he is as important, not more or less important than others. He begins to see that there is a purpose to his life that goes beyond anything he ever imagined.

During this process he is also helped to integrate aspects of himself that he disowned as a boy. In order to be a man he must be integrated, he must be able to access his tenderness and his strength. Once he has progressed through these stages he is ready to rejoin his society. He left as a boy and returns as a man. He becomes a true citizen. He becomes an asset to his society and contributes to both its well being and evolution. He learns to serve others, to live his life with a purpose greater than self.

This is exactly what happens in our recovery. We are purged of our false self,. We surrender to our powerlessness over drugs including alcohol and accept that our lives have become unmanageable. We are purged of our “ego.” Steps 1 thru 12 illuminate life by the use of paradox and right action. They also help us integrate part of ourselves we disowned. And finally they help us reunite as true citizens. We become a part of the solution rather than the problem. We live life with a new purpose, to help the alcoholic or addict who is suffering.

What a remarkable process. We owe a great deal to Bill W. and Dr. Bob. May they rest in peace!