I want to be alone. I want him to come home.
Thursday, July 3rd, 2008- (by JunkysWife)
- no responses
- Category: Sobriety Salon
I had a kind of crazy day today. I had almost the whole day off, and I spent it deliciously in bed. I’d been hoping that my husband wouldn’t be home for my day off, as it has been a long time since I’ve had the house to myself. I napped and read a novel. It was great.
However, after about 2:00, I started wondering where he was. I wondered half out of dread of him coming home, and half out of fear that he wouldn’t come home. Especially after realizing that he’d been going through my email and reading on my blog, I was worried about him. I don’t want him to be too sad after taking an opportunity to look into the window to my head. I don’t want him to feel pain about the image of himself he must have seen there.
But I recognized the insanity of my feelings: “Don’t come home! Come home now! Stay with me always and never!”
I’m still processing my feelings. He did come home, and I was glad to see him. He’s still sulking about what he found on my blog, apparently, as he went straight to bed and won’t talk to me. We’re going to have to talk about this stuff, though, eventually. It would be a stupid thing to ignore for both of us.
It’s always so damned complicated.
Leave a response and help improve reader response. All your responses matter, so say whatever you want. But please refrain from spamming and shameless plugs, as well as excessive use of vulgar language. Please refer to our Code of Conduct.