After reading the three-part story Chris related about his journey to recovery, I am left in a weird, I-hate-to-admit-it, conflicted state. Only an alcoholic could read such a story and feel both relief and…and…and…oh, okay, envy. How screwed up is that? If you’ve not disgustingly clicked over to another blog by now, please let me try to explain.

Here’s the thing. My story is boring. Boring in comparison to every single story I’ve ever heard, and I’ve heard a lot of them. Thankfully, I’ve only been asked to speak about my recovery once. Unfortunately, it was in a women’s halfway house where only the nation’s most desperate and hopeless cases land! Those women have incredibly compelling, heart-wrenching, complex stories!! My story…not so much!

This woman has the antithesis of a compelling story. Don’t get me wrong, I am so, so grateful my story is less than remarkable! I am very fortunate to have found my way here without the aid of policemen, court summons, or street gutters. Yet, I often feel inadequate to help others when I can’t differentiate between speed and aspirin! Between a crack pipe and a trinket… Even my drinking was boring. I drank beer. Beer. Yes, toward the end there were small bottles of the hard stuff, but that was strictly out of convenience. You know, a vodka bottle fits better in the jacket pocket than a six pack! So what do I have to offer with such a boring story?

I asked my sponsor that very question a few years back. What do I have to offer? Am I even in the right place? I didn’t think I belonged here because I hadn’t survived the same wretched path other drunks had endured. I survived Law and Order reruns in my living room! But my sponsor assured me I was in the right place, and then she answered my question with a series of her own questions–I hate when they do that!

Was my drinking out of control? (yes) Could I stop drinking after the first glass? (no) Did I try to control my drinking and fail? (yes, yes, yes) Was my life unmanageable? (I guess) If that happened to you, don’t you think it could happen to others, too? Don’t you think somebody, somewhere has travelled a similar path? (you mean I am NOT unique??)

So, here I am, a shining sober example of where a boring path can lead. If you think your story means you can’t be a drunk–like I did–answer my sponsor’s questions, and I’ll see you in the rooms.

**I’ll be the one sitting in the corner wearing nothing but beige.
etta