WHAT TO SAY…
Friday, June 13th, 2008- (by gbauler)
- one response
- Category: Young and Sober
by Courtney H.
I never know what to say when the subject of drinking comes up. It is probably a pretty sure sign of my alcoholism that I have spent a fair amount of time considering this as some sort of quandary . When I am around someone who doesn’t know I am in the program and they want to know my favorite drink of the moment or when I am going to hit up happy hour with them, my immediate reaction is to clam up, red faced. Then I usually mutter, “I don’t drink,” and try escape the conversation quickly. With people who are aware of my status in AA, I want to sound confident, breezy, and like my disease is “so” not a big deal. I just won’t hit up a drinking establishment unless a band is playing there that I am dying to see or if someone is celebrating a special occasion.
It seems to me that there should be a middle ground somewhere with the explanation. Embarrassment is the last thing I feel when it comes to my disease the vast majority of the time. But when people who don’t know my story ask me why I don’t drink; I am usually fairly certain that the truth would leave them feeling extremely uncomfortable. Or they might say something like, “You can’t be an alcoholic, come on.” (At least I have heard that on more than one occasion from well meaning friends).
It is strange to be marching into the later years of my twenties and chronically avoiding bars. Those were my favorite places to frequent even before it was legal for me to be doing so. But, I am pretty grateful that the difficult social choice today comes as a result of explaining that I don’t drink. Just a few years ago, my difficult social choices involved explaining away embarrassing, sad, and occasionally illegal situations while I had yet again, drank more then my fill.
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The response that I settled on some years ago is a breezy, “No thanks, I’ve finished my share.” It’s useful for most occasions, and if anyone ever follows up, I just say, “I used to drink a lot. I don’t any more.” Anyone who pushes farther than that usually gets “Why do you want to know?”
But then, I stopped hanging around in bars a long time ago. Drunks are annoying and boring, and they act just the way I used to. That’s embarrassing.