Being There
Friday, May 9th, 2008- (posted by Chris Mecham)
no responses- Categories: Show and Tell
My grandfather died before I got sober. My grandfather died before I had a relationship with my father. I managed to pull together a couple of days clean before I drove 300 miles to the funeral, but you know the toll addiction takes. I was 40 pounds under weight. My eyes were sunken in. I was gray. I did a lot of terrible things when I was still ‘out there’ but being a source of additional pain to my family at that difficult time made me burn with shame.
I was so happy to be sober the next summer when my grandmother and every one of her children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren, all 57 of us, gathered from across the country for a week’s vacation in Sundance, Utah. To be able to be with my family again was an incredible gift of sobriety. I am even more grateful to have been able to make amends to my dad for not being there for him when his father died.
I’m also grateful to have been able to spend some quality time with my grandmother since then. Last night dad called to tell me that my grandmother is very ill and in the hospital. They don’t expect her to make it through the week. I am so relieved to be sober right now. I’m so relieved that I am a functioning member of my family now. One of the gifts of recovery is recovering relationships; the gift of being there.
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