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Recovery Archive Revealed

An Irish Friend of Bill is frank and a pleasure to read, as she describes herself “I have recovered from the disease of Alcoholism. I believe there is only one person really,.. everybody. And that peace of mind is everything. -So treat your neighbor as you would treat yourself, because your neighbor IS yourself. I think most of recovery is what I would call common sense, but that learning to be ordinary is a true gift very few people acquire.”

Thursday, December 06, 2007

When (Still Drinking) Friends or Partners Think We Are Not So Much ? ‘FUN’ As We Used To Be…

“The people that matter don’t mind, and the people that mind, don’t matter”

Hmm sometimes, others (usually the ones still drinking) view our new found perspective as being a bit ? Gloomy. A bit serious. A bit .. Well not as much ‘FUN’ as we used to be. What then?

If a guy were to complain about us (women) not being ‘our old selves’ (meaning ? jolly or upbeat) this is how I would interpret a request to ’snap out of it’ and ‘put it behind you’ etc etc.
By making such a request what he is saying is “it disturbs me now that you are more emotional than you used to be, this frightens me and I would prefer you to have emotions that more closely resemble mine”

Being anesthetized makes a HUGE!!!! difference to the way you feel things. Simple repression is NOT a viable route for you now. You require different directions. You need to learn how to navigate THROUGH the forest. NOT around it. It is the path of the spiritual warrior so to speak. Not for nancys!
If your other half stopped drinking altogether too, he might also feel things (!) differently.

Part of it is also coming to terms with the way men and women are emotionally different. John Grey has some good advice in Mars Venus books.
But you cant just ‘banish’ stuff. You have to learn to live with the tide of UNANESTHETISED emotion, with some GRACE and HUMOUR.
That’s all you can do really.