There is something to say for the frankness some of these bloggers have about their addictions… tkdjunkie really brings this home.

This blog was started in December 2005, when I was still actively drinking. It was initially used as an outlet to express my grief when I discovered that my then-boyfriend had been cheating on me. I was drinking extremely heavily during that time and feeling that life wasn’t worth living. He somehow convinced me to seek help for my alcoholism through Alcoholics Anonymous.

Sober since April 6, 2006
That’s 589 days

and suddenly i was surrounded with champagne …

They had a celebration at work today, and we were all supposed to report to the lobby at a certain time. I left my desk at the last minute and went to the lobby.

Suddenly, I was surrounded by hundreds of glasses of champagne. They filled half a dozen tables. People were passing the glasses around for a toast.

I felt a lot of pressure to take a glass like everyone else. To everyone else, the champagne was as harmless as water. I looked into those bubbly glasses and thought about how nice it would be to take one. Surely one little glass wouldn’t hurt.

But I didn’t take a glass. My thinking made me nervous, so I slipped out the door and went back to my desk without anyone seeing me leave.

I felt ashamed that I was unable to stay. But the whole situation caught me off guard. I wasn’t expecting to be surrounded by hundreds of glasses of alcohol, especially at a work function. Maybe if I had known about it beforehand, I would have done better.

Anyway, I’m grateful to be sober today, and to be alive. An acquaintance of mine (who was a very close friend of my boyfriend’s brother) was shot and killed today. A disgruntled employee came into the workplace and shot several employees. Two lives were ended, countless lives were changed forever. Just like that.

It helps to put things into perspective … all of my loved ones are alive and well today. Tomorrow is not guaranteed.

Today, I am grateful …

• to be 546 days sober
• that all of my loved ones are alive and well
• that the police caught the murderer
• that I was able to work yesterday and today
• that I have a job, and people look to me for help
• for video games … an old favorite of mine kept me well-entertained during my sick days away from work
• for the medicine the doctor prescribed for my sinus infection … it seems to be working
• that I was able to pay off my car (no more car payment!)
• that God’s plans are better than mine