When I was drinking and using, I was also doing and going all the time. You know that FedEx ad “Overwhelmed” where the guy just can’t slow down. He sits there at a completely empty desk shouting “Worky work! Busy Bee!” That was me back then. That is, whenever I could make myself get out of bed.

Looking back, I think I channeled the Energizer Bunny mostly to keep from facing how alone I felt. Not was, necessarily, but felt. As an active substance abuser, I had no comfort in my own company and so had nothing real to give back to offers of friendship.

I began working the Steps because I was terrified of my own future. It was through their simple magic and the good grace of HP (whom I chose to call Alice), that first my head and then my life got real. That’s a pretty loose description of recovery, but if you’re in it as well, I think you’ll know what I’m getting at.

These days I find great pleasure in such simple things. For example, I have a birdfeeder outside my office window, and I also scatter seeds on the ground. This morning, as I watched birds, squirrels, and bunnies feeding on the bounty of what I think of as Martha’s Nature Preserve, I had a sudden blast of that peaceful, easy feeling the Eagles first sang about oh-so-many years ago.

That feeling, to me, is one of sobriety’s greatest gifts.