Okay, I got really steamed at work a couple of days ago. It was a bad day in the office all around for all of us–which I should add is highly unusual.

So, in time-honored sober-person fashion, I took myself to a meeting right after work.  What was unusual for me–in fact I can’t remember ever doing (unless called upon to do it) in 17 years of sobriety–was that I brought up a topic. I sat there and splatted out a bunch of words about how frustrated I was with my colleagues and how awful and un-sober that frustration made me feel. And I asked the group for help in dealing with my frustration.

And I got help. Of course, some of what people said was not particularly useful in my case (for example, the suggestion that I speak up about what was bothering me, and speaking up about anything has never been my problem). But then I also all kinds of really neat advice, ranging from the practical (put the initials of the person annoying you on a post-it note, slip it in your shoe, and stomp on it), to a reminder that I was essentially letting annoyance with my colleagues function as my Higher Power. And–perhaps most useful of all–I felt this blast of empathy, understanding, support and down-right affection from everyone in that meeting.

Good grief, Charlie Brown–I felt so much better as I drove home. I’ve been thinking about that meeting a lot since then, how I’d been sober 17 years, and had never asked a meeting to focus on my problems. And it was not because I’m shy, believe me. It’ was because I still maintaina real macho attitude toward life that tells me to handle everything I possibly can on my own. How dumb is that, I ask you?

Sobriety is never static, never done. It will not, believe me, be 17 years before I bring up another topic!